So... I'm pretty sure I'm ace - i.e. I have zero desire to have sex 99% of the time. That one percent of the time nature prevails and I feel horny etc, but the idea of a p entering my v makes me wanna throw up. I have no doubt it'd probs be pleasurable, but again the idea of the act itself sickens me. I do like all the stuff leading up to it like touching and making out and all that stuff.
But the thing that makes me suspect I'm aro (or at least on the aro spectrum) is, I see no link between sex and love. I don't think I'd be upset if I had a partner who cheated and slept with someone else, nor that it'd be a big deal if I went and slept with someone else (putting aside my repulsion of the act itself). Like I don't see how a physical act can cause love. It's just weird.
I think I'd be more upset if my partner became distant from me or we stopped hanging out and grew apart, similarly, I think that if I became distant from my partner and started going to other guys more, maybe that'd constitute 'cheating' more.
tldr; I don't understand why doing the physical act with someone else is any different to say, going to the movies with someone else rather than your partner. Like why is sex this big emotional thing? What would hurt me is them distancing from me or keeping secrets or us longer being close or confidantes or something like that.
Really needed to get this off my chest bc I never have been able to express this stuff to anyone in my life - they'd prob think I'm crazy or weird since everyone I've ever met feels precisely the opposite to everything I've just said on the topic
Thoughts?