The Student Room Group

Uni tips?

So I have severe anxiety and I'm meant to start uni next year. So far I haven't even completed my UCAS application (because my college sucks and haven't helped at all - I've had to slowly figure out everything myself) and I have no idea what uni I want to go to, or what to study.
It feels like I have nobody to talk to about this because everyone in my classes know exactly what they're doing and where they're going. I don't even know if I'm ready to go: I'll miss my room and my cats. But I don't think I'd be able to commute, and my parents think living near the university I pick will be best.
Any tips for tackling anxiety regarding this? I feel like I'll be so lonely and anxious as I don't have a solid friend group as it is (due to a bunch of events that led to my previous group breaking up).

Also, I forgot to mention but I also have suspected autism (but haven't yet recieved a diagnosis. Working on that though but it means I probably cant ask for accommodations) and have many weird things like comfort items and stims/stim toys. Should I be worried about being judged for this? Is living in student accommodation extremely stressful and invasive?
(edited 5 months ago)
Original post by cristalat101
So I have severe anxiety and I'm meant to start uni next year. So far I haven't even completed my UCAS application (because my college sucks and haven't helped at all - I've had to slowly figure out everything myself) and I have no idea what uni I want to go to, or what to study.
It feels like I have nobody to talk to about this because everyone in my classes know exactly what they're doing and where they're going. I don't even know if I'm ready to go: I'll miss my room and my cats. But I don't think I'd be able to commute, and my parents think living near the university I pick will be best.
Any tips for tackling anxiety regarding this? I feel like I'll be so lonely and anxious as I don't have a solid friend group as it is (due to a bunch of events that led to my previous group breaking up).

Also, I forgot to mention but I also have suspected autism (but haven't yet recieved a diagnosis. Working on that though but it means I probably cant ask for accommodations) and have many weird things like comfort items and stims/stim toys. Should I be worried about being judged for this? Is living in student accommodation extremely stressful and invasive?


There's nothing to say you have to apply this year.
Hi,

I am sorry to hear you have been experiencing all of this stress and anxiety.

To help with knowing exactly what you need to be doing, I would definitely just check through the UCAS website:
https://www.ucas.com/advisers/managing-applications/application-deadlines

Do you know which course you might want to study at university yet, if not I would recommend just thinking quite deeply about what subjects you like and potentially what career you might like to go into - this should help narrow it down :smile:

In terms of knowing the universities to apply to, you can attend open days. If you can't visit in person, many universities, thanks to COVID-19, have online visits. This is Lancaster's: https://www.lancaster.ac.uk/itpi/digitaltour

If you know of some universities that you might like to apply to, I would recommend watching some YouTube videos. Many universities will have their own social media pages and post clips about what it's like to study there. This is something that I found really useful when I was applying.

In terms of your worries about actually moving to University, I would recommend finding a University that has a very good welfare system in place. Lancaster's mental health support is amazing - there are so many different paths to get support, e.g., College wellbeing, university mental health services, personal tutors within your department, etc. Everybody finds moving to university a little bit daunting, and it is natural to be scared about what it will be like and how you will cope, but it is so much less scary than you are expecting. University essentially becomes the new normal and you adapt to this new way of living. If you aren't happy with your living situation, there will be people to help sort it out. For Lancaster in particular, we have a large community of people with additional needs and disabilities; most people are generally supportive of this.

I hope this helps, and if you have any more questions, feel free to reach out.

Tyler (Lancaster University Student Ambassador)
Hi there!

I was in a very similar situation to you when it came to application season- I didn't know what I wanted to do, and I had no clue where I wanted to go. I would recommend taking a gap year. I know that schools and colleges really push the idea of going to uni straight away, but if you don't know where you want to go, it's much better to take time to figure it out, rather than panic and end up feeling worse because you didn't take the time to make the right decision for you. There's absolutely no shame in taking time out- some of my friends took 2 or 3 years out between A Levels and applying to uni, and have now graduated very successfully.

You mentioned wanting to stay home, and that is also very common! Particularly in Liverpool, we have a lot of local students who choose to commute from home, and they get just as involved in uni life as our residential students who live in halls. I'm from the midlands, and my sister lives at home and commutes, and she loves it, so it is very much possible!

If you do decide to do a gap year, I would recommend looking at finding a part time job, or seeing if you can get work experience in the industry/industries that you're interested in- not only is this helpful for later job/uni applications, it's also a good way to see if you actually enjoy the type of work, which can help you make more informed career decisions later down the line.

In terms of social life, unis often give everyone a fresh start, and everyone is very eager to make new friends. Societies and social events are a great way to meet new people with the same interests as you. With your autism, universities can often provide a service that will help you gain a diagnosis faster, but they also provide learning support services. At Hope, we have learning support plans, which can help with your studies, but can also provide general wellbeing support.

Living in student accommodation can be stressful at times, but depending on where you go and what kind of accommodation you choose, it shouldn't be hugely invasive. You can choose ensuite bathrooms, or you could even go to a private student accommodation provider and have your own studio flat. it's totally up to you.

I hope this is helpful- wishing you all the best for the future!

-Ella
Graduate Advocate
TBH mate it sounds like your not quite ready yet maybe look at a job for a few years then if you want go to uni then. It’s not for everyone and you can get some pretty good jobs without a degree. The university is always there don’t worry even if you go later I went at 21 and fit in with the 18 year olds just fine your what 17-18 you have time there is no rush you’ll be fine.
Original post by cristalat101
So I have severe anxiety and I'm meant to start uni next year. So far I haven't even completed my UCAS application (because my college sucks and haven't helped at all - I've had to slowly figure out everything myself) and I have no idea what uni I want to go to, or what to study.
It feels like I have nobody to talk to about this because everyone in my classes know exactly what they're doing and where they're going. I don't even know if I'm ready to go: I'll miss my room and my cats. But I don't think I'd be able to commute, and my parents think living near the university I pick will be best.
Any tips for tackling anxiety regarding this? I feel like I'll be so lonely and anxious as I don't have a solid friend group as it is (due to a bunch of events that led to my previous group breaking up).

Also, I forgot to mention but I also have suspected autism (but haven't yet recieved a diagnosis. Working on that though but it means I probably cant ask for accommodations) and have many weird things like comfort items and stims/stim toys. Should I be worried about being judged for this? Is living in student accommodation extremely stressful and invasive?


Hello @cristalat101

I completely agree with the advice that been given. If you are unsure it may be beneficial for you to take a gap year to figure out what it is you want to do and if you want to go to university as well as where and what course you want to do :smile:

You should have a personal tutor at college, I know it can be hard especially if you feel like everyone else knows what they are doing but I would really recommend reaching out and asking for help with this.

In terms of your autism, I completely agree with previous replies to prioritise a university with a strong and supportive disability and inclusion team. For example, it may be that you'd rather have a friendly and supportive campus university as appose to a big city university where you may have less of a relationship with your support services. The support team at Edge Hill can support you with any issues with accommodation, wellbeing and disability and inclusion. Students at Edge Hill are able to access the disability support team by making appointments if you require support. From there they can help you to develop a Personal Support Plan as well as making reasonable adjustments. The wellbeing team at Edge Hill is also super helpful and supportive. Students are able to make appointments online and it's super easy.

Here is some information about the support available to students with disabilities, including how to university can support you before you join :smile: You can also contact them by emailing [email protected] if you have any questions about accessing this support.

Here is some more information about the inclusion team and how they can help :smile:

In terms of you feeling nervous and anxious about leaving home and feeling lonely, I am sure you will make so many friends and feel at home at university. I personally have found being at Edge Hill to be a really kind, homely and comforting environment. There are so many options at university to make friends, for example, going to societies, getting involved with events on campus for example all the events ran by the student life team who run lots of free events which are super fun and accessible to everyone :smile:

I personally didn't find living in student accommodation particularly uncomfortable, stressful or invasive. Most of the rooms have ensuite and this is something you can pick when you chose your accommodation. Please don't worry about bringing your comfort items and stim toys no one is going to judge you for them!

As advised already I would defiantly attend some Open Days to see where you feel comfortable and you can ask at Open Days about the support available to you.

I hope this is helpful!
Katie - Third year Psychology student
(edited 5 months ago)
Reply 6
I'm not ready to go to uni. Yet my parents say I can't take a gap year and must go. Any advice? Are there any decent jobs that require only A levels or is everything just requiring a degree these days? I feel like I will not settle in at all in a place far from home and I don't have the option of not living near the uni itself, as my parents once again won't let me as I need to "act like an adult". I feel like I won't be able to handle being away from home like that for so long, especially with my poor mental health. Any advice?
Reply 7
Original post by EdgeHillStudents
Hello @cristalat101

I completely agree with the advice that been given. If you are unsure it may be beneficial for you to take a gap year to figure out what it is you want to do and if you want to go to university as well as where and what course you want to do :smile:

You should have a personal tutor at college, I know it can be hard especially if you feel like everyone else knows what they are doing but I would really recommend reaching out and asking for help with this.

In terms of your autism, I completely agree with previous replies to prioritise a university with a strong and supportive disability and inclusion team. For example, it may be that you'd rather have a friendly and supportive campus university as appose to a big city university where you may have less of a relationship with your support services. The support team at Edge Hill can support you with any issues with accommodation, wellbeing and disability and inclusion. Students at Edge Hill are able to access the disability support team by making appointments if you require support. From there they can help you to develop a Personal Support Plan as well as making reasonable adjustments. The wellbeing team at Edge Hill is also super helpful and supportive. Students are able to make appointments online and it's super easy.

Here is some information about the support available to students with disabilities, including how to university can support you before you join :smile: You can also contact them by emailing [email protected] if you have any questions about accessing this support.

Here is some more information about the inclusion team and how they can help :smile:

In terms of you feeling nervous and anxious about leaving home and feeling lonely, I am sure you will make so many friends and feel at home at university. I personally have found being at Edge Hill to be a really kind, homely and comforting environment. There are so many options at university to make friends, for example, going to societies, getting involved with events on campus for example all the events ran by the student life team who run lots of free events which are super fun and accessible to everyone :smile:

I personally didn't find living in student accommodation particularly uncomfortable, stressful or invasive. Most of the rooms have ensuite and this is something you can pick when you chose your accommodation. Please don't worry about bringing your comfort items and stim toys no one is going to judge you for them!

As advised already I would defiantly attend some Open Days to see where you feel comfortable and you can ask at Open Days about the support available to you.

I hope this is helpful!
Katie - Third year Psychology student

Unfortunately I do not actually have a tutor at my college. My college is awful and they basically want us to do everything ourselves and we only go in to attend individual classes, so I can't really go to them for advice.
Original post by cristalat101
I'm not ready to go to uni. Yet my parents say I can't take a gap year and must go. Any advice? Are there any decent jobs that require only A levels or is everything just requiring a degree these days? I feel like I will not settle in at all in a place far from home and I don't have the option of not living near the uni itself, as my parents once again won't let me as I need to "act like an adult". I feel like I won't be able to handle being away from home like that for so long, especially with my poor mental health. Any advice?

[I've merged your threads as it is still the same subject]

Have you considered a degree apprenticeship? https://www.ucas.com/apprenticeships/degree-apprenticeships
Reply 9
Original post by normaw
[I've merged your threads as it is still the same subject]

Have you considered a degree apprenticeship? https://www.ucas.com/apprenticeships/degree-apprenticeships

Yeah they're both about uni... But they aren't the same. I kept them separate for a reason.
Original post by cristalat101
So I have severe anxiety and I'm meant to start uni next year. So far I haven't even completed my UCAS application (because my college sucks and haven't helped at all - I've had to slowly figure out everything myself) and I have no idea what uni I want to go to, or what to study.
It feels like I have nobody to talk to about this because everyone in my classes know exactly what they're doing and where they're going. I don't even know if I'm ready to go: I'll miss my room and my cats. But I don't think I'd be able to commute, and my parents think living near the university I pick will be best.
Any tips for tackling anxiety regarding this? I feel like I'll be so lonely and anxious as I don't have a solid friend group as it is (due to a bunch of events that led to my previous group breaking up).

Also, I forgot to mention but I also have suspected autism (but haven't yet recieved a diagnosis. Working on that though but it means I probably cant ask for accommodations) and have many weird things like comfort items and stims/stim toys. Should I be worried about being judged for this? Is living in student accommodation extremely stressful and invasive?


Hi there,

I think it's worth putting a few hours of thought in (and paying £30 application fee) to apply and buy yourself a few extra months to think about your options. I did this when I applied to Cardiff and ended up going straight to uni because of the circumstances at the time so I think it's best to keep your options open if you're still unsure. You can always cancel your application if you decide to wait a year. Do you have a tutor at college to chat things through with?

All the best,
Jaz - Cardiff student rep
Hi there,
I agree with this advice as it allows you to take your time with your thoughts and talk through options with your parents as I also went through a similar situation but ended up going to uni straight away. School will always encourage you to go to university as it is a great stepping stone to life in the real world whilst there are still people around to look out for you if you have any problems. Lancaster University has a great support system through their college system as well as the student union and your course department. Completing you UCAS application may also give you a chance to further research the degree topic you are interested in and hopefully make you more excited about studying that topic in more depth. If you haven't decided what you want to study yet then think about which subjects at college you enjoy the most or perhaps you want to study a new subject you haven't had the chance to explore yet? This is an exciting time to discover what you are interested in and explore it further! Lancaster has a range of many degrees in all subject areas! I am also happy to answer any queries or worries you may have.

Lucy,
(Lancaster University Student Ambassador)
Original post by cristalat101
So I have severe anxiety and I'm meant to start uni next year. So far I haven't even completed my UCAS application (because my college sucks and haven't helped at all - I've had to slowly figure out everything myself) and I have no idea what uni I want to go to, or what to study.
It feels like I have nobody to talk to about this because everyone in my classes know exactly what they're doing and where they're going. I don't even know if I'm ready to go: I'll miss my room and my cats. But I don't think I'd be able to commute, and my parents think living near the university I pick will be best.
Any tips for tackling anxiety regarding this? I feel like I'll be so lonely and anxious as I don't have a solid friend group as it is (due to a bunch of events that led to my previous group breaking up).

Also, I forgot to mention but I also have suspected autism (but haven't yet recieved a diagnosis. Working on that though but it means I probably cant ask for accommodations) and have many weird things like comfort items and stims/stim toys. Should I be worried about being judged for this? Is living in student accommodation extremely stressful and invasive?


Hi,

I'm sorry to hear that you have been feeling stressed and anxious.

My top tips would be to take your time and go at your own pace when it comes to university applications. Maybe attend some open days as they will give you a feel for some of the courses that are available for you to study and you may find one that feels right for you.

I would also say that our university has an excellent Disability and dyslexic team that aim to support students with additional needs such as anxiety and autism. These support services support you throughout your studies and ensure that any additional supports required are met so that you can complete your studies to the best of your ability. I have personally used their services and it has been a game changer in helping me reach my full potential. Our university is very diverse with a wide variety of people from different backgrounds and disabilities but everyone gets the opportunity to be who they are due to the wide variety of supports available

I completely understand your worries about moving away from home and maybe it would be worthwhile, looking at universities close to home where you could commute to university from home each day. A lot of our students here at LSBU commute from home and they still have a very social life with friends within the university.

I hope this was of some support and help to you and if there is anything else we can help with please reach out!

Mary
London South Bank University Student Rep (3rd year Children's Nurse)

Quick Reply

Latest

Trending

Trending