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Isolation in Uni

Started at the University of Liverpool in September and have been left increasingly socially isolated since starting leading to serious depressive episodes (something I haven't dealt with since going on medication) and regular ideation. I've been unlucky with my flat at Greenbank, 2 flatmates already have friendship groups from home here and are always out with them, 2 live not particularly far and regularly commute home once the working weeks finished and one's an international student with limited English who rarely ventures outside their room. I'm aware you won't be friends with everyone but I have found Liverpool to not have the same social atmosphere I have felt when visiting friends from home at other Uni's (York, Birmingham and Bangor). I've signed up for various extra-curriculars (pretty much everything I can possibly fit in one week and attended all socials) but have found people quite aloof and in existing groups.

I feel like I've tried all options, attempted to make plans with everyone and anyone and still find myself ghosted or left out. I feel something needs to change urgently or I'm not sure I'll manage. I am looking at changing Uni's or at the least changing accom from Greenbank (for a hall closer to campus) with the hopes of finding someone to talk to occasionally. Does anyone have experience with this and can give any recommendations as to the right course to go down?

(edited 5 months ago)

Reply 1

Lancaster Student Ambassador

Official Rep

Original post by Brangwyn

Started at the University of Liverpool in September and have been left increasingly socially isolated since starting leading to serious depressive episodes (something I haven't dealt with since going on medication) and regular ideation. I've been unlucky with my flat at Greenbank, 2 flatmates already have friendship groups from home here and are always out with them, 2 live not particularly far and regularly commute home once the working weeks finished and one's an international student with limited English who rarely ventures outside their room. I'm aware you won't be friends with everyone but I have found Liverpool to not have the same social atmosphere I have felt when visiting friends from home at other Uni's (York, Birmingham and Bangor). I've signed up for various extra-curriculars (pretty much everything I can possibly fit in one week and attended all socials) but have found people quite aloof and in existing groups. I feel like I've tried all options, attempted to make plans with everyone and anyone and still find myself ghosted or left out. I feel something needs to change urgently or I'm not sure I'll manage. I am looking at changing Uni's or at the least changing accom from Greenbank (for a hall closer to campus) with the hopes of finding someone to talk to occasionally. Does anyone have experience with this and can give any recommendations as to the right course to go down?

Hiya,

I am so sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. Firstly, know that you are taking all the right steps. Getting involved is the best step you can take. On top of that I know from personal experience how hard it can be to battle depression at university, especially when you are living on your own for the first time and feel isolated in your dorm. My heart goes out to you, but know this isn't forever.

I'll give you an example that I hope will help. I had a friend who started university the year before me. She arrived, didn't click with her roommate or any of her other flatmates and struggled to find her place at uni. To summarise a long story, she didn't enjoy her first year at university, so much so she considered changing universities in her second year. However, the time came and she decided to stay where she was. Her second year was the polar opposite to her first. She went to events and societies and finally found her people. She now absolutely loves university, so much so she opts to stay a little in vacation to hang out with her friends.

Now this is just one person's story, and I don't mean to imply that nothing will change in your first year. My point was that it can feel like you've exhausted all your options and then suddenly life throws a curveball at you and everything turns around. Don't give up, keep going to societies and clubs even when it feels like there's no point. All it takes is one person one week and you could meet a new and amazing friend.

Aside from that perhaps think about seeking some help for your mental health. Just talking to someone may help you feel a bit less alone at university. Your university will have counselling services available to students that could be of use to you (i'll put the link below). On that note, you could send an email to your uni asking about changing accommodation. If you feel that it's the right decision and the university has rooms available they may well let you transfer. However, I can't speak for certain on the matter and you would have to officially contact your university to find out.

https://www.liverpool.ac.uk/studentsupport/mental-wellbeing/wellbeing-advice/triage-form/

When it comes to your next step, as hard as it is no one can make that decision for you. If you stick it out for the rest of the academic year and still feel like your not in the right place, transferring is always an option. However, before then, don't give up hope as your university journey has only just started. You are doing amazing and you are not alone so soldier on. Even when it feels like it, this period in time or even university isn't the rest of your life. Things will get better. I hope you feel better and i'm rooting for you!

Aimée (Lancaster University Student Ambassador)