Why does my best friend always put me down
Am I just acting dramatic or is there something going on?
Even though my grades are 10 times better than her she tries to act like shes performing better than me in school. I try to ignore it but it really gets to me. Its mainly that in lesson shes much more vocal (we both take essay based subjects and share psych together and I'm more quiet while shes more active in lesson discussions). None the less, I perform better than her
She also loves to put down my looks. She's not super ugly but she's not like super objectively pretty, me either. She gets more male attention mainly because she goes for it while I don't really care, I don't even go out much or have many friends in general. I really don't think she is more attractive than me though like she just isnt (objectively speaking she is mid). However the fact that she does speak to more guys boosts her ego. I talked about a boy I like in my English Lit and when encouraging me to speak to him instead of the typical motivation speech she told me "he MIGHT be flattered and give you a chance". I also told her about some guy who I used to speak to and who I'm pretty sure fancied me and showed her a picture of him and she was really shocked and said "I expected him to be way uglier why is he attractive". Also a couple of snide remarks which I won't repeat because I try to erase them from my memory as they have genuinely destroyed my self esteem lol. Even when anyone compliments my looks in front of her she shuts down and seems irritated.
Any chance as well to just put me down she will take unwarranted. She has some topics which she is sensitive about and if I accidentally talk about them or bring up anything remotely related she goes into attacking my life and things I am very very sensitive about, among those my economic situation and home life, which are scarring. I'll even have brought something up BECAUSE IT CAME UP IN CONVERSATION and she will say "I'm sorry but my .... is so good" comparing her life to mine
Part of me wants to believe these are based on jealousy but I feel like thats such a cliche reason. I can't bring these up because she is a very sensitive person and will start a problem which I can't deal with, but can anyone give me an outsiders perspective because I actually can't stand it anymore
Even though my grades are 10 times better than her she tries to act like shes performing better than me in school. I try to ignore it but it really gets to me. Its mainly that in lesson shes much more vocal (we both take essay based subjects and share psych together and I'm more quiet while shes more active in lesson discussions). None the less, I perform better than her
She also loves to put down my looks. She's not super ugly but she's not like super objectively pretty, me either. She gets more male attention mainly because she goes for it while I don't really care, I don't even go out much or have many friends in general. I really don't think she is more attractive than me though like she just isnt (objectively speaking she is mid). However the fact that she does speak to more guys boosts her ego. I talked about a boy I like in my English Lit and when encouraging me to speak to him instead of the typical motivation speech she told me "he MIGHT be flattered and give you a chance". I also told her about some guy who I used to speak to and who I'm pretty sure fancied me and showed her a picture of him and she was really shocked and said "I expected him to be way uglier why is he attractive". Also a couple of snide remarks which I won't repeat because I try to erase them from my memory as they have genuinely destroyed my self esteem lol. Even when anyone compliments my looks in front of her she shuts down and seems irritated.
Any chance as well to just put me down she will take unwarranted. She has some topics which she is sensitive about and if I accidentally talk about them or bring up anything remotely related she goes into attacking my life and things I am very very sensitive about, among those my economic situation and home life, which are scarring. I'll even have brought something up BECAUSE IT CAME UP IN CONVERSATION and she will say "I'm sorry but my .... is so good" comparing her life to mine
Part of me wants to believe these are based on jealousy but I feel like thats such a cliche reason. I can't bring these up because she is a very sensitive person and will start a problem which I can't deal with, but can anyone give me an outsiders perspective because I actually can't stand it anymore
I hate to break it to you, but she's jealousy of you.
100% she is jealous of you, and very insecure. Your experiences reflect almost exactly what I went through with a “best friend”. The problem was I would never confront her when she said horrible things to me. One day I decided I was going to confront her and I’m so so glad I did. Please, this girl is not your friend and you will be much better off without her
Original post by Surnia
Why do you call someone like that your 'best friend'?
I don't have too many friends so my standard is quite low lol
Original post by Anonymous #3
100% she is jealous of you, and very insecure. Your experiences reflect almost exactly what I went through with a “best friend”. The problem was I would never confront her when she said horrible things to me. One day I decided I was going to confront her and I’m so so glad I did. Please, this girl is not your friend and you will be much better off without her
Youre absolutely right. Ill try to build up the courage to confront her. Just today she commented on my hair and said "do u not have a hair brush at home" that was the final straw tbh
Original post by Anonymous #1
Youre absolutely right. Ill try to build up the courage to confront her. Just today she commented on my hair and said "do u not have a hair brush at home" that was the final straw tbh
Yeah cut her off. Just because you feel like youve got a limited number of friends, doesnt mean you cant still cut them off. She is not a "friend", let alone a best friend.
Original post by Anonymous #1
Youre absolutely right. Ill try to build up the courage to confront her. Just today she commented on my hair and said "do u not have a hair brush at home" that was the final straw tbh
Youre absolutely right. Ill try to build up the courage to confront her. Just today she commented on my hair and said "do u not have a hair brush at home" that was the final straw tbh
I’m glad to hear it and wish you the best. Remember, it doesn’t matter if she is your “only” friend. This phase in your life is only temporary and you will always be better off alone than with someone who is constantly trying to bring you down.
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