How to deal with social awkwardness
I’ve never been good at making friends, I’ve had friends, I don’t know how but I’ve had different groups over the years. I find it really hard talking to new people, weirdly I’m okay at first meeting someone but I’m bad the second time as I don’t know how to navigate conversation to get to know people better.
For example at uni I would start making connections with people but then the next seminar we had I would see them say hi etc. but it would always die off and I end up avoiding them. I became friends with flatmates but when I first met them they thought I hated them over time we became close.
I worry my social awkwardness holds me back so much- I haven’t been in a relationship because I get so anxious with new people. A few times now I’ve had genuinely good connections with potential dates on hinge or tinder but I just struggle to make conversation interesting.
I come across as rude I think- my mum suspects I have autism and wanted me tested as a child but somehow it never happened. I have a couple of friends I text now and again but I feel lonely not being able to connect with people my own age.
At work I get on with coworkers and they say they like me, one of them mentioned me being shy but apart from that no issues. Overall I feel really stuck and not sure what I can do about it all, does anyone have advice? Thanks
For example at uni I would start making connections with people but then the next seminar we had I would see them say hi etc. but it would always die off and I end up avoiding them. I became friends with flatmates but when I first met them they thought I hated them over time we became close.
I worry my social awkwardness holds me back so much- I haven’t been in a relationship because I get so anxious with new people. A few times now I’ve had genuinely good connections with potential dates on hinge or tinder but I just struggle to make conversation interesting.
I come across as rude I think- my mum suspects I have autism and wanted me tested as a child but somehow it never happened. I have a couple of friends I text now and again but I feel lonely not being able to connect with people my own age.
At work I get on with coworkers and they say they like me, one of them mentioned me being shy but apart from that no issues. Overall I feel really stuck and not sure what I can do about it all, does anyone have advice? Thanks
honestly who gives a flying **** about what someone else thinks??
just try not to let what other people think get into ur head
i also used be very socially awkard until i changed my mindset
if you like them and want to be closer ask more questions when you get stuck in a convo
for example " what do you like doing when your free" " what sort of music do you listen to " or straight up ask them about something your interested in such as "do you like watching Netflix" etc etc and then more questions stem from that and they ask you questions back too which naturally keeps convo going
you may come off as rude to people bc they ask you questions but you dont ask any back which gives people the vibe that your not interested
my go to quesion is " what about you?" this makes people interested as people like being asked for their opinion on literalky anything as it makes them feel important
also dont hesitate to ask someone to go out!
just a simple " want to go get coffee before your lecture/seminar" or " want to study together at the library" is simple enough for people at ur uni
you may want to ask ur flatmates if theyd like to go food shopping with you or if you want to make a routine of having breakfast or dinner tgth or even going to the laundry room
ask your work colleagues if they want to go out after work
gossiping with anyone also brings people closer for example theres a prof you dont like or maybe ur boss is annoying or theres an annoying customer
these are all great things that can make you closer to people and also make it easier for friendships to last rather than dying out soon
dont worry if they reject you people can be busy!
even you are busy most of the time and as long as u dont make things awkward by avoiding the person after they rejected you
heck they might even ask you out instead bc they feel bad for being busy!
you never know and always make sure you have a smile on your face!!!
hope this helps you
just try not to let what other people think get into ur head
i also used be very socially awkard until i changed my mindset
if you like them and want to be closer ask more questions when you get stuck in a convo
for example " what do you like doing when your free" " what sort of music do you listen to " or straight up ask them about something your interested in such as "do you like watching Netflix" etc etc and then more questions stem from that and they ask you questions back too which naturally keeps convo going
you may come off as rude to people bc they ask you questions but you dont ask any back which gives people the vibe that your not interested
my go to quesion is " what about you?" this makes people interested as people like being asked for their opinion on literalky anything as it makes them feel important
also dont hesitate to ask someone to go out!
just a simple " want to go get coffee before your lecture/seminar" or " want to study together at the library" is simple enough for people at ur uni
you may want to ask ur flatmates if theyd like to go food shopping with you or if you want to make a routine of having breakfast or dinner tgth or even going to the laundry room
ask your work colleagues if they want to go out after work
gossiping with anyone also brings people closer for example theres a prof you dont like or maybe ur boss is annoying or theres an annoying customer
these are all great things that can make you closer to people and also make it easier for friendships to last rather than dying out soon
dont worry if they reject you people can be busy!
even you are busy most of the time and as long as u dont make things awkward by avoiding the person after they rejected you
heck they might even ask you out instead bc they feel bad for being busy!
you never know and always make sure you have a smile on your face!!!
hope this helps you
It's completely okay to find it challenging to connect with others; many people experience this. It's good that you're seeking ways to improve your social interactions. Consider gently pushing your comfort zone by engaging in light, natural conversations around shared interests. Authenticity is key, so don't worry about being perfect. If you suspect an underlying issue like autism, a professional evaluation might provide valuable insights and coping strategies, so it could be worth seeing a professional for a diagnosis. Remember, building meaningful connections is a gradual process, and it's alright to take small steps. You're not alone in this journey 
Its ok I was definitely socially awkward when it came to school and sixth form. I had to accept that im not one of those life and soul of the party people and could not be interesting 100% of the time. Theres certain conversation topic stoppers. Weather 90 seconds you can talk about the weather and then its conversation over. Some things can be good. Like for example. TV shows. TV shows you can branch off like ooh did you see X on show Y, what did you think about that? Or TV shows in the past when I was a kid, thats always a nostalgic topic, which ends up on chocolate bars that you could get back then but not now, or toys. Remember the ninendo wii? lol, Music is a good one as well because you can find out about what festivals they want to go to.
Also as well, if you do want to go a bit deeper can you talk about your family. Im not saying anything too personal, but this opens up a channel to let them know that they can also talk about their private life to you.
And keep at it as well. Not every person turns out to be a friend, but thats ok. Some will and some wont. Its best to have a couple of close friends, and some just friends that are like ones you hang around on the odd occasion, and some just simply aquaintances that you speak to in passing from time to time. There are so many layers to being social with different people and thats fine 🙂
Also as well, if you do want to go a bit deeper can you talk about your family. Im not saying anything too personal, but this opens up a channel to let them know that they can also talk about their private life to you.
And keep at it as well. Not every person turns out to be a friend, but thats ok. Some will and some wont. Its best to have a couple of close friends, and some just friends that are like ones you hang around on the odd occasion, and some just simply aquaintances that you speak to in passing from time to time. There are so many layers to being social with different people and thats fine 🙂
Original post by shuu0007
honestly who gives a flying **** about what someone else thinks??
just try not to let what other people think get into ur head
i also used be very socially awkard until i changed my mindset
if you like them and want to be closer ask more questions when you get stuck in a convo
for example " what do you like doing when your free" " what sort of music do you listen to " or straight up ask them about something your interested in such as "do you like watching Netflix" etc etc and then more questions stem from that and they ask you questions back too which naturally keeps convo going
you may come off as rude to people bc they ask you questions but you dont ask any back which gives people the vibe that your not interested
my go to quesion is " what about you?" this makes people interested as people like being asked for their opinion on literalky anything as it makes them feel important
also dont hesitate to ask someone to go out!
just a simple " want to go get coffee before your lecture/seminar" or " want to study together at the library" is simple enough for people at ur uni
you may want to ask ur flatmates if theyd like to go food shopping with you or if you want to make a routine of having breakfast or dinner tgth or even going to the laundry room
ask your work colleagues if they want to go out after work
gossiping with anyone also brings people closer for example theres a prof you dont like or maybe ur boss is annoying or theres an annoying customer
these are all great things that can make you closer to people and also make it easier for friendships to last rather than dying out soon
dont worry if they reject you people can be busy!
even you are busy most of the time and as long as u dont make things awkward by avoiding the person after they rejected you
heck they might even ask you out instead bc they feel bad for being busy!
you never know and always make sure you have a smile on your face!!!
hope this helps you
just try not to let what other people think get into ur head
i also used be very socially awkard until i changed my mindset
if you like them and want to be closer ask more questions when you get stuck in a convo
for example " what do you like doing when your free" " what sort of music do you listen to " or straight up ask them about something your interested in such as "do you like watching Netflix" etc etc and then more questions stem from that and they ask you questions back too which naturally keeps convo going
you may come off as rude to people bc they ask you questions but you dont ask any back which gives people the vibe that your not interested
my go to quesion is " what about you?" this makes people interested as people like being asked for their opinion on literalky anything as it makes them feel important
also dont hesitate to ask someone to go out!
just a simple " want to go get coffee before your lecture/seminar" or " want to study together at the library" is simple enough for people at ur uni
you may want to ask ur flatmates if theyd like to go food shopping with you or if you want to make a routine of having breakfast or dinner tgth or even going to the laundry room
ask your work colleagues if they want to go out after work
gossiping with anyone also brings people closer for example theres a prof you dont like or maybe ur boss is annoying or theres an annoying customer
these are all great things that can make you closer to people and also make it easier for friendships to last rather than dying out soon
dont worry if they reject you people can be busy!
even you are busy most of the time and as long as u dont make things awkward by avoiding the person after they rejected you
heck they might even ask you out instead bc they feel bad for being busy!
you never know and always make sure you have a smile on your face!!!
hope this helps you
Thank you, I have tried your “what about you” question a couple of times and think I’ll stick with it!
I like the flatmate suggestions! Unfortunately I left uni a few months ago but my flatmates became family away from home but will keep them in mind for future. With replies- Honestly part of the worry is rejection but also knowing how to respond to people haha, the other suggestions you said will go in my note book
) Thanks again ✨
Original post by CCCU Official
It's completely okay to find it challenging to connect with others; many people experience this. It's good that you're seeking ways to improve your social interactions. Consider gently pushing your comfort zone by engaging in light, natural conversations around shared interests. Authenticity is key, so don't worry about being perfect. If you suspect an underlying issue like autism, a professional evaluation might provide valuable insights and coping strategies, so it could be worth seeing a professional for a diagnosis. Remember, building meaningful connections is a gradual process, and it's alright to take small steps. You're not alone in this journey
Thank you! Yeah I only recently realised that I struggle socially, I’ve made all of my friends in the past through them talking to me first/ them introducing me to other friends. My parents are very gregarious and socially confident people so it’s confusing why I struggle haha but yeah thanks again! I look forward to improving my skills 😁
Original post by Ghostlady
Its ok I was definitely socially awkward when it came to school and sixth form. I had to accept that im not one of those life and soul of the party people and could not be interesting 100% of the time. Theres certain conversation topic stoppers. Weather 90 seconds you can talk about the weather and then its conversation over. Some things can be good. Like for example. TV shows. TV shows you can branch off like ooh did you see X on show Y, what did you think about that? Or TV shows in the past when I was a kid, thats always a nostalgic topic, which ends up on chocolate bars that you could get back then but not now, or toys. Remember the ninendo wii? lol, Music is a good one as well because you can find out about what festivals they want to go to.
Also as well, if you do want to go a bit deeper can you talk about your family. Im not saying anything too personal, but this opens up a channel to let them know that they can also talk about their private life to you.
And keep at it as well. Not every person turns out to be a friend, but thats ok. Some will and some wont. Its best to have a couple of close friends, and some just friends that are like ones you hang around on the odd occasion, and some just simply aquaintances that you speak to in passing from time to time. There are so many layers to being social with different people and thats fine 🙂
Also as well, if you do want to go a bit deeper can you talk about your family. Im not saying anything too personal, but this opens up a channel to let them know that they can also talk about their private life to you.
And keep at it as well. Not every person turns out to be a friend, but thats ok. Some will and some wont. Its best to have a couple of close friends, and some just friends that are like ones you hang around on the odd occasion, and some just simply aquaintances that you speak to in passing from time to time. There are so many layers to being social with different people and thats fine 🙂
I’ll be adding the topics you suggested to my notebook! The social layers thing is so true, I really enjoy having casual conversations with coworkers but don’t regard them as my friends- talking with them makes me realise I can be quite good socially sometimes.
Not sure about you but I make friends easily when drunk- I made more friends when at society socials than on my course, less anxiety about the whole thing probably helped!
I'm socially awkward. I have social anxiety, in my case it can be even random and not always caused by stress. It comes and goes. At work or in uni or with flatmates, the first time I meet people I explain that, which makes it even worse as the situation of explaining this is very awkward but the truth is that if they know how to react if I have an attack (well you can't even call it an attack) is very helpful and makes things much easier for both sides. Also, when they are used to my awkwardness it gets very easy to communicate because they know I am not a snob and actually want to communicate but it is hard for me so they help by asking me things and randomly tell me stuff. For me it takes a lot of time to open up to people, so if I force myself to open up about my anxiety and other medical conditions it makes people ask me questions and initiate speaking topics easier and building up a communication and a relationship very fast and with much less effort. With time it gets easier to communicate.
I'm very talkative once I open up. I have my own opinion about a lot of topics which I am not easily talk about with random people usually (lately it's been politics for example).
I think you can use some of that advice too in future. It is not the easiest way but it works magically with mature people... Won't work much before highschool at all.
I'm very talkative once I open up. I have my own opinion about a lot of topics which I am not easily talk about with random people usually (lately it's been politics for example).
I think you can use some of that advice too in future. It is not the easiest way but it works magically with mature people... Won't work much before highschool at all.
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