The Student Room Group

Relationship advice

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(edited 3 months ago)
I think you're being very hard on yourself. Why would it haunt you? You've said yourself that you weren't exclusive at that point. That's not a technicality. If you weren't exclusive you are free to sleep with whoever you want. You don't have a moral obligation to be 'faithful' when you're not exclusive. I'd hope that if you were to tell your husband he really wouldn't care. But you know him better than we do. Either way, if you can't rationalise away the guilt by accepting that you don't have anything to be guilty for, I would instead look at what has happened since. You became involved in an exclusive relationship, got married, and have now been happily married for seven years. At this point you're both different people compared to when you met. You have grown together, and your relationship is almost certainly very different to how it was when you first met. What you have now is a mature relationship that has become an integral part of each other's lives, and you both will have put a huge amount of effort into making that happen. So to put in context, something that you did when you were dating, even if you think you shouldn't have done it, is just so irrelevant compared to where you now. It's very, very far in the past, and everything you've done in the mean time to work on this relationship will, in my view, more than make up for it.
(edited 3 months ago)
It sounds like an immature comment from him and an immature reaction from you. Which again speaks to how far in the past this was. I expect your communication is much better now, and that in reality so much as happened between then and now that this whole episode, as much as it is weighing on you, is just not relevant to your relationship as it is now. I really don't think you have anything to feel guilty about.

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