i’m struggling to get over my ex.

1st year, i met him at a nightclub. we began dating after a month of being friends, dated for a month, then he dumped me out of nowhere. it’s been 2 months now. he never cared for me, i still haven’t moved on really. meeting him helped me come to terms with being bi, and i was actually about to come out as bisexual right before he left me.

he does a similar course to me so i bumped into him after he ditched me in 2 different lectures. i try my best to avoid him but every day when i go around campus i’m so worried about seeing him. i’m not going to make this a sob story but i feel pretty pathetic, this hung up on a guy who’s objectively pathetic. what should i do? just wait?

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous #1

1st year, i met him at a nightclub. we began dating after a month of being friends, dated for a month, then he dumped me out of nowhere. it’s been 2 months now. he never cared for me, i still haven’t moved on really. meeting him helped me come to terms with being bi, and i was actually about to come out as bisexual right before he left me.

he does a similar course to me so i bumped into him after he ditched me in 2 different lectures. i try my best to avoid him but every day when i go around campus i’m so worried about seeing him. i’m not going to make this a sob story but i feel pretty pathetic, this hung up on a guy who’s objectively pathetic. what should i do? just wait?

See a counsellor.

It sounds like one of those past relationships that could potentially scar you enough that it could affect your future potential relationships.

Reply 2

divorcedparents

3

Original post by Anonymous #1

1st year, i met him at a nightclub. we began dating after a month of being friends, dated for a month, then he dumped me out of nowhere. it’s been 2 months now. he never cared for me, i still haven’t moved on really. meeting him helped me come to terms with being bi, and i was actually about to come out as bisexual right before he left me.

he does a similar course to me so i bumped into him after he ditched me in 2 different lectures. i try my best to avoid him but every day when i go around campus i’m so worried about seeing him. i’m not going to make this a sob story but i feel pretty pathetic, this hung up on a guy who’s objectively pathetic. what should i do? just wait?

you should call your ex drunk in the middle of the night, it's guaranteed to get them back

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by divorcedparents

you should call your ex drunk in the middle of the night, it's guaranteed to get them back

i don’t want him back. or, i know he’s bad for me. often i wish he never left.. but at the same time, i wish i never met him, or at least never fell for him. he’s really not a good person, and the reason i excused his behaviour was because i had such low self-worth. also, i don’t drink alcohol and i’ve blocked him on every single platform. :smile:

)

Reply 4

Byron2468

1

Original post by Anonymous #1

1st year, i met him at a nightclub. we began dating after a month of being friends, dated for a month, then he dumped me out of nowhere. it’s been 2 months now. he never cared for me, i still haven’t moved on really. meeting him helped me come to terms with being bi, and i was actually about to come out as bisexual right before he left me.

he does a similar course to me so i bumped into him after he ditched me in 2 different lectures. i try my best to avoid him but every day when i go around campus i’m so worried about seeing him. i’m not going to make this a sob story but i feel pretty pathetic, this hung up on a guy who’s objectively pathetic. what should i do? just wait?

Just say how you feel.Better out then in I say.At least you know you got to get your point across!

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Byron2468

Just say how you feel.Better out then in I say.At least you know you got to get your point across!

you mean to him? i had a 3 hour long talk with him the night after, and sent him a longgg list of all the things he did wrong, along with a letter. if you mean in general… i’m worried talking about him all the time will make me think of him more.

Reply 6

Nathanielle_

7

Original post by Anonymous #1

1st year, i met him at a nightclub. we began dating after a month of being friends, dated for a month, then he dumped me out of nowhere. it’s been 2 months now. he never cared for me, i still haven’t moved on really. meeting him helped me come to terms with being bi, and i was actually about to come out as bisexual right before he left me.

he does a similar course to me so i bumped into him after he ditched me in 2 different lectures. i try my best to avoid him but every day when i go around campus i’m so worried about seeing him. i’m not going to make this a sob story but i feel pretty pathetic, this hung up on a guy who’s objectively pathetic. what should i do? just wait?

One month at university, ... you have plenty of time left to have supernice relationship experiences. So no need to panic, but it is smart, to learn how to grieve. Then you will be better prepared for the rest of your life. One month is not that long, long enough for loads of hormones and feelings, but not long enough, that you could possibly know, that you were a good match. And early endings are way more honest than late ... So, do also try to see it realistically, you were officially together, but in reality still trying out, whether it is a good idea.

So allow yourself to grieve, but also do not learn to deal with hit only by avoidance, that comes back later in life, when you are in a situation, where avoiding is not possible.

It also helps to find out, what you are actually looking for and how you deal best with grieve. 🙂 Good luck!

Reply 7

Nathanielle_

7

Original post by Anonymous #1

i don’t want him back. or, i know he’s bad for me. often i wish he never left.. but at the same time, i wish i never met him, or at least never fell for him. he’s really not a good person, and the reason i excused his behaviour was because i had such low self-worth. also, i don’t drink alcohol and i’ve blocked him on every single platform. :smile:

)

Yeah, it is normal, that it hurts. But it is good, that you know, where you stand.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous #2

See a counsellor.

It sounds like one of those past relationships that could potentially scar you enough that it could affect your future potential relationships.

i’ve been thinking that too. recently just started going to a uni therapist, i wanted to focus on childhood trauma from neglect / abuse, i want to work on that, not forgetting about him. maybe seeing someone else at wellbeing could help? i’m speaking to the SU this week too, partially about this. i’ve contacted some online helplines too.

even he admits that what he did could cause me “lasting trauma”. which is pretty disgusting since he knew before we were together that i have a history of trauma & mistreatment. i feel really pathetic, needing this much help because of a one-month fling. he even said it was “unhealthy how i attached i got to him after only a month”. 🙃

Reply 9

Anonymous #3

Original post by Anonymous #1

1st year, i met him at a nightclub. we began dating after a month of being friends, dated for a month, then he dumped me out of nowhere. it’s been 2 months now. he never cared for me, i still haven’t moved on really. meeting him helped me come to terms with being bi, and i was actually about to come out as bisexual right before he left me.

he does a similar course to me so i bumped into him after he ditched me in 2 different lectures. i try my best to avoid him but every day when i go around campus i’m so worried about seeing him. i’m not going to make this a sob story but i feel pretty pathetic, this hung up on a guy who’s objectively pathetic. what should i do? just wait?

A month really isn't long in the grand scheme. The fact he discarded you on a whim like crunching a ball of paper and tossing it into a trash can just shows how little he valued your relationship. You can do better!

And may I add with your new realisation of being bisexual you also have the opportunity to explore the other gender. I'm a heterosexual man myself but I have enough queer female friends to know that dating a man compared to dating a woman are completely different. Who knows instead of being hung up on this one guy who treat you bad it has opened doors for other possibilities of a good relationship.

i’m struggling to get over my ex.

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