Struggling to make friends @ NTU

I’m a first year at NTU and I’m really struggling to make friends which is never something I have struggled with. I’ve joined societies and tried to form friendships with coursemates but it is all surface level and everyone seemed already in their groups after freshers. I’m your typical girl who loves makeup, going clubbing, shopping, raves, and loveeee food. I don’t know why I’m struggling so bad. I speak to my flatmates but I just miss having a girl group like I did at home˙◠˙ does anyone else feel like this and know how I could go about it?

Original post by courtneymegxo

I’m a first year at NTU and I’m really struggling to make friends which is never something I have struggled with. I’ve joined societies and tried to form friendships with coursemates but it is all surface level and everyone seemed already in their groups after freshers. I’m your typical girl who loves makeup, going clubbing, shopping, raves, and loveeee food. I don’t know why I’m struggling so bad. I speak to my flatmates but I just miss having a girl group like I did at home˙◠˙ does anyone else feel like this and know how I could go about it?

Hi @courtneymegxo

That's great that you've joined some socieities and are reaching out to your course mates as that is typically the best way to start friendships at uni. When I joined a society in my first year last year it took me a few weeks to feel fully comfortable and to find true friendships there, so don't give up on your societies just yet - that's actually where most of my current friendships started.

Course mates can sometimes be tricky as not everyone can be in a chatty mood - I've found this myself! But don't be discouraged, and it's great if you're trying to make conversation.

I also found friendships here in Birmingham from external things like my part time job, or from the dance classes I go to, so maybe see if there's anything you can get involved in outside of uni. Also in Brum, a new walking group for girls has just started, so maybe there is something similar in Nottingham? Or you could set one up!

I hope things pick up for you, and try not to worry as you'll find your people.
Emily 🙂
Student Rep at BCU

Reply 2

spiciicheese

3

Original post by courtneymegxo

I’m a first year at NTU and I’m really struggling to make friends which is never something I have struggled with. I’ve joined societies and tried to form friendships with coursemates but it is all surface level and everyone seemed already in their groups after freshers. I’m your typical girl who loves makeup, going clubbing, shopping, raves, and loveeee food. I don’t know why I’m struggling so bad. I speak to my flatmates but I just miss having a girl group like I did at home˙◠˙ does anyone else feel like this and know how I could go about it?

Hi! I hope your situation has improved since you wrote your post! Ill be joining ntu in september!

Original post by courtneymegxo

I’m a first year at NTU and I’m really struggling to make friends which is never something I have struggled with. I’ve joined societies and tried to form friendships with coursemates but it is all surface level and everyone seemed already in their groups after freshers. I’m your typical girl who loves makeup, going clubbing, shopping, raves, and loveeee food. I don’t know why I’m struggling so bad. I speak to my flatmates but I just miss having a girl group like I did at home˙◠˙ does anyone else feel like this and know how I could go about it?

Hi @courtneymegxo ,

Sorry to hear that you have been struggling with this, it can be really tricky when you haven't made many friends at first.

Here are my tips for making friends at uni:

1- Persevere with the societies. Maybe start again in September if it hasn't worked out for you this time and go in with a fresh mindset. You may make friends this time around as some people may join who are more your people so don't rule out joining a society again.

2- Try speaking to other people that you may see around in lectures or your other classes. I know you have tried with your course mates so maybe try and make some other friends n your course too if you see any other people that you haven't chatted to much.

3- Keep asking your course mates to do things with you. It took a while for me and my course friends to get closer and it was only in second year that we started going out a lot and doing things together so keep trying!

4- Look on social media and see if there is anyone else in the same position as you at NTU and you could organise a meet up as this is a great way to meet new people and become friends!

5- Similarly, look on social media for groups that other people have created that you could join. There is something called 'girls who walk' in Nottingham which puts events on where you go for a walk and then get coffee after and catch up and this is also a great way to make friends which are not related to your university! There may also be other group which are similar to this which you can join too!

I hope some of this helps and things get better for you,

Lucy -SHU student ambassador.

Reply 4

University of Suffolk student

Official Rep

13

Original post by courtneymegxo

I’m a first year at NTU and I’m really struggling to make friends which is never something I have struggled with. I’ve joined societies and tried to form friendships with coursemates but it is all surface level and everyone seemed already in their groups after freshers. I’m your typical girl who loves makeup, going clubbing, shopping, raves, and loveeee food. I don’t know why I’m struggling so bad. I speak to my flatmates but I just miss having a girl group like I did at home˙◠˙ does anyone else feel like this and know how I could go about it?

Hi @courtneymegxo

Sorry to hear you are struggling to make friends. I must admit I was in a similar position when I joined uni in September. I was really frustrated because my friendships with my course mates were surface level like you said and I hadn't had much support from the societies I joined.
But things did get better, after a few months. I found that I actually made more friends away from uni, like from my part time job and from the artist community in the town where I study.
Just give it a few months and don't worry. In the meantime, try finding some events that you can go to and meet new people there!

Wishing you the best
Milena
MA Creative and Critical Writing at Uni of Suffolk

Original post by courtneymegxo

I’m a first year at NTU and I’m really struggling to make friends which is never something I have struggled with. I’ve joined societies and tried to form friendships with coursemates but it is all surface level and everyone seemed already in their groups after freshers. I’m your typical girl who loves makeup, going clubbing, shopping, raves, and loveeee food. I don’t know why I’m struggling so bad. I speak to my flatmates but I just miss having a girl group like I did at home˙◠˙ does anyone else feel like this and know how I could go about it?

Hi there,

I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling to make friends. It can definitely be really hard to do and can take time, especially if you have a great group of friends back home to compare it to.

I'd firstly advise you to stay in frequent contact with your friends back home. It seems like you had a good group, and it might help you to talk about your experiences with them. It is perfectly normal to struggle with making friends at times, so I'm sure they'll be there to support you.

It's great that you've joined societies and tried to form friendships with your course mates, I'd encourage you to keep trying with this. It might be a good idea to try to make plans with some people you talk to more frequently, such as a couple hours walking around the city, a night out, a coffee date, or something similar.

I really hope you have found some good friends since you wrote the original post and best of luck,

Isabella
Third-year Geography with a Year Abroad Student

(edited 3 weeks ago)

Reply 6

EVRT808

13

Original post by courtneymegxo

I’m a first year at NTU and I’m really struggling to make friends which is never something I have struggled with. I’ve joined societies and tried to form friendships with coursemates but it is all surface level and everyone seemed already in their groups after freshers. I’m your typical girl who loves makeup, going clubbing, shopping, raves, and loveeee food. I don’t know why I’m struggling so bad. I speak to my flatmates but I just miss having a girl group like I did at home˙◠˙ does anyone else feel like this and know how I could go about it?