I'm almost 21 and have never been in a relationship

I think you'll find that most of the people who post on these kind of threads aren't actually interested (or serious) about solving their problems (you notice how no one has actually asked for any ideas / suggestions on how they can improve their outlook?)

It seems these threads are just virtual Mothers Meetings where lonely hearts can get together and continue their "Woe is me" 😢 🎻😿 type diatribes on how bad they have it. No offence, but you guys do sound like a bunch of old women. :

I do not mean to offend, but perhaps there is a mental illness holding you back? You could have some trauma in your life. Either way I recommend to not focus on girls but on yourself.

well men are far more likely than women are to reach their 30s and 40s or older and to have always been alone, single, i don't remember the last time i heard of a woman reaching a decade like that and never having been with anyone before, but i've heard of lots of men like that, and it reminds me of statement i heard in response to that that only added fuel to fire in making me more angry.

anyway i'm sure i'm right

hey there … sorry for the late reply. I’m the person who wrote this post.

Yeah i’m kind of the same, but lately things have been going differently.

I go to the gym too and i’ve got a muscular body. Although someone compliments me on it, i often don’t really like myself. I’m on a long way to achieving my dream body but i might be closer than i think.

I know some girls find me cute, but I often compare myself to extremely attractive guys in my university, who are maybe even taller than me (i’m already 6’2) or simply generally better looking. I don’t really like the way i look and gym kind of helps me feel better. I think your son might feel the same: he might know some girls like him but he either doesn’t like them or, more probably, he believes those girls have sight issues and forgot their glasses at home.

Being outgoing definitely helps a lot. I consider myself as an outgoing person, but also a shy one: i struggle with first approach but then i become super social with people.

So, i’d suggest him to find ways to stay away from home during the day, to try to find places and situations where he can talk to new girls. It’s pretty normal to be nervous and shy around girls, but it’s also normal to want to talk to them. If he can force himself to do that (for example: knowing you only have 1 week to get to know someone will force you to do it in that amount of time… that’s happened to me), he’ll overcome this fear slowly. By the way, first or then, he’ll have to and he will.

What i’d mainly suggest, before doing this, is to find out things about himself first. If you know what you like and what you don’t, if you know what kind of person you are and what kind of people you like, you can bring something to a conversation and the other person won’t feel like it’s a one sided discussion.

I wish him the best of luck!

well men are far more likely than women are to reach their 30s and 40s or older and to have always been alone, single, i don't remember the last time i heard of a woman reaching a decade like that and never having been with anyone before, but i've heard of lots of men like that, and it reminds me of statement i heard in response to that that only added fuel to fire in making me more angry.

He's in basic training right now in the RAF...not exactly a target rich enviroment! You and him sound A LOT alike. He's very aloof with strangers but once he warms up to them he's pretty outgoing. I just re-read your message, you understand him perfectly. Hopefully it helps that you're not alone.
6'2 is very tall! Our son is 6ft and was always the tallest one in his classes and when he played rugby.
I think social media doesn't help you guys because it makes you feel like you have to look a certain way to attract somebody. This is not true. I know a lot of ugly people that are married right now. 😂

What are you angry about? If men chose to opt out of dating because they are scared of a woman saying to their no advances, then that is their choice. It is not something to get angry about.

why is it something that men should not get angry about? i like to think that it means nature is more cruel to men than it is for women in which it causes far more men than women to reach a certain age, decade, and have always been alone, never been with anyone before.

Technically speaking, i did have a GF before but im reluctant to call her an ex-GF, because we were incompatable, with each other sexually, because of that, she didn't feel like a true girlfriend.

Im a bit older than the OP, and after some self-reflection I resigned myself to never having a relationship. My personality just isn't conducive to having one.

Every day I feel less and less desirable, despite going to the gym and trying to heal myself physically (I suffer from baldness but I take drugs recommended by the trichologist... I hope they will work, because without hair I would be horrible).

There's not much else to say. I have girl friends with whom I contact every now and then, but from a romantic point of view it's a disaster and the fact that a girl likes me seems inconceivable to me.

Our son is 20 goes to the gym and I'm told (by his friends) that girls think he's cute YET he's never had a girlfriend. I really don't get it. His friends have all had gf's. So I can really understand where you're coming from. I know he'd like to have a gf but...I'm going to post his pic so you can see that you're not alone He's not the most outgoing type, maybe you're the same?

Oh no, this has stressed me out because our 20 yr old son isn't trying, he's an only child and I don't want him to be alone when we go.

I wasn't posting it like it was a dating app. I was posting it to show the o.p that lots of other perfectly normal looking guys have the same problem. 👿 What random girl would be on this thread? You're on idiot, go crawl back underneath your rock.

Why don't you mind your own business? I see your a coward that doesn't want anyone to know your identity. Why don't you **** off?

Your reaction doesn’t make this any better.
I truly feel sorry for your son, this is incredibly controlling and concerning behaviour.
Its a shock you can’t see how inappropriate you are being.

Who are you to tell me anything? I don't need to explain myself to you. If I could block you I would execpt you're too cowardly to use actual name.

You’ve chosen to opt out of seeking a relationship. You can’t be angry at the world around you for that as it a choice you’ve made.

So either choose to stay single or do something about it. It is your choice.