have a fear and insecurity of oral sex
So my first boyfriend when i was 16 would force me to give him BJ's all the time and would never reciprocate. Now, whenever I'm with a guy I automatically feel pressured and anxious to do it. I start overthinking it and worrying if he thinks I'm terrible. I think it is a vicious cycle because if I'm not in the mood then it won't be the best and he probably won't enjoy it. i kind of avoid giving them all together unless he asks. the bf I had at 16 never complained about me while I was giving them.
Funnily enough, the guys I've been with SEEMED to have reacted positively at the time, and I have made guys finish I just, idek. i feel it is a barrier and I see the act as something that is dirty and degrading because of my bad experiences that have scarred me.
i just feel really intimidated by a d*** tbh like I feel there is this expectation from the guy for me to do a good job and make him feel good and I'm worried I wont.
right now I'm 20 almost 21 and haven't given a bj in a year and a half.
is this a problem for guys, should I be worried if I ever get another boyfriend would they expect me to be good at them if I was in my 20's?
Funnily enough, the guys I've been with SEEMED to have reacted positively at the time, and I have made guys finish I just, idek. i feel it is a barrier and I see the act as something that is dirty and degrading because of my bad experiences that have scarred me.
i just feel really intimidated by a d*** tbh like I feel there is this expectation from the guy for me to do a good job and make him feel good and I'm worried I wont.
right now I'm 20 almost 21 and haven't given a bj in a year and a half.
is this a problem for guys, should I be worried if I ever get another boyfriend would they expect me to be good at them if I was in my 20's?
Original post by Anonymous
So my first boyfriend when i was 16 would force me to give him BJ's all the time and would never reciprocate. Now, whenever I'm with a guy I automatically feel pressured and anxious to do it. I start overthinking it and worrying if he thinks I'm terrible. I think it is a vicious cycle because if I'm not in the mood then it won't be the best and he probably won't enjoy it. i kind of avoid giving them all together unless he asks. the bf I had at 16 never complained about me while I was giving them.
Funnily enough, the guys I've been with SEEMED to have reacted positively at the time, and I have made guys finish I just, idek. i feel it is a barrier and I see the act as something that is dirty and degrading because of my bad experiences that have scarred me.
i just feel really intimidated by a d*** tbh like I feel there is this expectation from the guy for me to do a good job and make him feel good and I'm worried I wont.
right now I'm 20 almost 21 and haven't given a bj in a year and a half.
is this a problem for guys, should I be worried if I ever get another boyfriend would they expect me to be good at them if I was in my 20's?
Funnily enough, the guys I've been with SEEMED to have reacted positively at the time, and I have made guys finish I just, idek. i feel it is a barrier and I see the act as something that is dirty and degrading because of my bad experiences that have scarred me.
i just feel really intimidated by a d*** tbh like I feel there is this expectation from the guy for me to do a good job and make him feel good and I'm worried I wont.
right now I'm 20 almost 21 and haven't given a bj in a year and a half.
is this a problem for guys, should I be worried if I ever get another boyfriend would they expect me to be good at them if I was in my 20's?
You don't give a boy anything you don't want to give him so that he's feels happy 😊.
Don't ever do anything sexual if you don't want to as it is your decision to say no.
You are doing well with not giving him or anyone else a BJ in that amount of time.
No boy / guy should expect anything from you unless you are 110% satisfied in doing it as same goes for the other person.
You'll find the majority of guys are happy just for cuddles and kisses and perhaps touching one another but not worried about going to getting the deeds from you.
Original post by Littleemma98
You don't give a boy anything you don't want to give him so that he's feels happy 😊.
Don't ever do anything sexual if you don't want to as it is your decision to say no.
You are doing well with not giving him or anyone else a BJ in that amount of time.
No boy / guy should expect anything from you unless you are 110% satisfied in doing it as same goes for the other person.
You'll find the majority of guys are happy just for cuddles and kisses and perhaps touching one another but not worried about going to getting the deeds from you.
Don't ever do anything sexual if you don't want to as it is your decision to say no.
You are doing well with not giving him or anyone else a BJ in that amount of time.
No boy / guy should expect anything from you unless you are 110% satisfied in doing it as same goes for the other person.
You'll find the majority of guys are happy just for cuddles and kisses and perhaps touching one another but not worried about going to getting the deeds from you.
how do i get over feeling insecure tho? do guys care if you haven't been with anyone In a while?
Original post by Anonymous
how do i get over feeling insecure tho? do guys care if you haven't been with anyone In a while?
Majority don't worry about when you last had deeds so you will be fine.
Just make sure that the boys just don't want to have the deeds with you and disappear as you want to have a relationship with someone who cares about you and not worried if you don't have deeds done that particular day or night.
Work on your insecurities by saying no to doing nothing you don't want to do. Try to build up your confidence so that you are prepared to have deeds done with someone who you care about and he cares for you to.
When you are ready for to have deeds done then say to your partner that you are wanting to have deeds done and have good time with him as well.
bruv try 69. most guys like that a lot and having him work on you should help you relax and enjoy the whole fing
I dont know if you want to go beyond a blowjob. It doesn't sound like it. Because you may think giving amazing blowjobs to a guy ought to keep him entirely happy. Well, it won't in most cases as you develop sexually.
You mustn’t treat a new man like your first bf, as all men are different.
You must learn not to relive past relationships. But, you can learn from them and not make the same mistakes. Sex is not degrading, including blowjobs or mutual oral sex, but it can be with the wrong attitude, like your first controlling boyfriend.
Avoid porn too as a guide for what a guy wants. A lot of that is sex for money made by porn studios, meaningless, often diverse, and nothing more.
As always, practice safe sex if you do decide for more intimacy. Avoid controlling men. And, don't manipulate them, either, as some girls do.
You mustn’t treat a new man like your first bf, as all men are different.
You must learn not to relive past relationships. But, you can learn from them and not make the same mistakes. Sex is not degrading, including blowjobs or mutual oral sex, but it can be with the wrong attitude, like your first controlling boyfriend.
Avoid porn too as a guide for what a guy wants. A lot of that is sex for money made by porn studios, meaningless, often diverse, and nothing more.
As always, practice safe sex if you do decide for more intimacy. Avoid controlling men. And, don't manipulate them, either, as some girls do.
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