Is he playing? Feeling stupid heartbroken and confused

This guy who lives in my neighborhood and I started communicating and occassionally seeing each other in September 2023. We both are busy and don't get to see each other often. He works 8-12 hours a day, and I am unemployed due to disability and I also am a caregiver for my sickly 92 year old mother. Over the course of our dynamics, him and I have had problems and sometimes have cut communication with each other multiple times but so far have always ventured back to one another. In the time we've been communicating he expressed to me that he thinks I'm a nice person whose morals and virtues align with his, that he wants to eventually marry and start a family with. We both have expressed and exchanged feelings of fondness towards one another. We've had xes twice and each time after, he cuts off communicating and has ghost me. The first time we had xes was 6 months ago..he ghosted me for a short while..and later apologized and said that it was due to him feeling insecure and questioning his size, performance, and capabilities. . We just had xes for the second time 3 days ago, and I haven't heard from since, and he's been ignoring my texts.. I have only texted him twice. Once to ask how he was feeling..the other to wish him a good day ahead. Him ghosting me last time lasted for about 2 weeks.. then he texted me apologizing, saying he missed me and told me things were not okay with him and he questioned me if I had been satisfied. Last week he had about 2 guys over for company...or so I thought.. I had asked a few minutes before I knew of his company, if he wanted to see me then..in which he never responded.that day..not even to tell me he's busy... I thought that was strange because he's always asking to spend more time with me..even if it's a quick hug.. He has left company before to see me for a hug. I am almost certain that I saw him there with another woman as well and they were making out.. He swears that there are no other women.. During our breaks, on his way to and from work he often looks at my house as if hoping to see me. Is he playing me, and perhaps only using me for sex, to fill voids of loneliness and ego boost??? One time during an argument he told me that he was meeting women online to give someone the love that I've never wanted, and he is going to focus on that. Later on, two weeks of not communicating, he texted me apologizing swearing that there weren't other women, and that he was saying all of those things to make me jealous, and he knows that I care about him now because I was jealous . (I wasn't) Is that a red flag? Was he lying?? I do log onto social media sometimes, and his active status is always recently logged on.. seemingly leading to him being on and off the whole day...even when allegedly at work Does he mean anything he tells me?? Are these red flags and should I end things once and for all??

Reply 1

Surnia

Definite red flags if he can't communicate properly and is emotionally manipulative, ie trying to make you jealous. Know your self-worth and don't be an option!