The girl I like acts differently around our group

I've liked this girl for a while now. We were in the same friend group, but something happened over the course of a few months that prompted me to leave this group of friends. However, I'm still in a subgroup of this particular group that involves people that are in my major, and she's in it as well. After the fallout, the members of this subgroup have been treating me like an outsider and refrained from talking to me despite my making efforts to talk to them, except the girl I liked. She was one of the only people in this subgroup that actually spoke to me, instigated conversations, and treated me like someone who mattered, and I think this was what heightened my feelings for her. This semester, we share the same class together, and no one else from the subgroup is in it. I've gotten closer to her: we have many deep talks, we tease each other a lot, I made her laugh genuinely a lot. Recently I noticed that when we are one on one, she smiles at me a lot and struggles holding eye contact sometimes.

But I notice this dynamic dwindles down when we are in a setting that involves the subgroup: when we are in a lounge or have a class that have a majority of the members. She still does talk to me, but it's toned down dramatically. She shows a lot less emotion than when we are together one on one. It's just odd to me that this happens so frequently when we do rendezvous with the subgroup. Maybe she's self-concious about the subgroup not vibing with me and she doesn't know how to act. Maybe she's actually faking it when she's with me? I'm not so sure. I need you guys' opinion

Reply 1

Crazy Jamie

Careers Forum Helper

Generally speaking it's more likely that her behaviour around you is entirely genuine, but she tones that down around the group (whether consciously or not). In many ways that's actually a perfectly normal thing to happen, particularly when she's friends with others in that group who are not as warm towards you. I don't think it's anything to be concerned about. It's normal for behaviour to change depending on who you are with. Ultimately if you want to take things further with this girl one of you is going to have to make a move either way. So from that perspective the question is moot, and you're not going to know if she wants to take things further unless you ask. Which it sounds to me like you should do.