The Student Room Group

Should I talk to him or wait?

So me and this guy have known each other for four years now. The first two years we were quite close, then drifted in the third and bit of fourth year.
We re-bonded I would say almost a year ago and he seemed very sweet to me specifically in my group of friends, when he was with my group of girls, he would talk to me and stay close to me. I never liked him but I do think he is cute and very respectful for a guy and I enjoyed his company. Mostly be a he is an attractive guy I guess but it’s hard to believe he spoke to no girls as well as was respectful!!

Then a few weeks before our summer break we spoke less and less. And we haven’t spoken since. I do miss him and I want to speak to him again and I have a feeling he does too. He gives certain hints and such so I believe he doesn’t hate me. right?

But recently he’s started hanging around older boys of his own ethnicity and they aren’t the best of influences, to say the least. Since hanging around with them he skives off a lot of his classes, and has added girls on his accounts.

I don’t know if I’m being dramatic or what? But if anyone has advice please let me know. I don’t know if I should speak to him or wait till he does. Thank you
Reply 1
If you want to talk to him, talk to him.
If him hanging out with not so good people is setting alarms for you I think you should not bother with him. Don't even go there from now. We tend to ignore our red flags until it's too late 🙃
(edited 7 months ago)
Original post by Anonymous
So me and this guy have known each other for four years now. The first two years we were quite close, then drifted in the third and bit of fourth year.
We re-bonded I would say almost a year ago and he seemed very sweet to me specifically in my group of friends, when he was with my group of girls, he would talk to me and stay close to me. I never liked him but I do think he is cute and very respectful for a guy and I enjoyed his company. Mostly be a he is an attractive guy I guess but it’s hard to believe he spoke to no girls as well as was respectful!!

Then a few weeks before our summer break we spoke less and less. And we haven’t spoken since. I do miss him and I want to speak to him again and I have a feeling he does too. He gives certain hints and such so I believe he doesn’t hate me. right?

But recently he’s started hanging around older boys of his own ethnicity and they aren’t the best of influences, to say the least. Since hanging around with them he skives off a lot of his classes, and has added girls on his accounts.

I don’t know if I’m being dramatic or what? But if anyone has advice please let me know. I don’t know if I should speak to him or wait till he does. Thank you

Message him first. He may feel similar to you, in the sense of wanting to speak to you but not wanting to message first in case you do not want to speak to him. If you haven’t spoke in a while, mention that, I.e. “hey, we haven’t spoken in a while, how are you”.
I went without speaking to people a while, however, when I messaged them it sparked conversation, and some said they do not like starting conversations first.

Regarding his behaviour, I feel it best he ultimately finds out himself. Talk and become friendly again, and briefly tell him your concerns in a brief, friendly way. However, if he does not accept them, leave them at that. He will choose his own friends. You can be friends with him, and distance yourself if this is a large issue he will not depart with, that way there’s a middle.
Reply 4
Original post by user1567945
Message him first. He may feel similar to you, in the sense of wanting to speak to you but not wanting to message first in case you do not want to speak to him. If you haven’t spoke in a while, mention that, I.e. “hey, we haven’t spoken in a while, how are you”.
I went without speaking to people a while, however, when I messaged them it sparked conversation, and some said they do not like starting conversations first.

Regarding his behaviour, I feel it best he ultimately finds out himself. Talk and become friendly again, and briefly tell him your concerns in a brief, friendly way. However, if he does not accept them, leave them at that. He will choose his own friends. You can be friends with him, and distance yourself if this is a large issue he will not depart with, that way there’s a middle.

You’re so right! Thank you so much. Yes I agree with you completely however, I’ve realised that I’m going to just stay away as I’ve recently found some um unusual? things about him and I’m kind of scared. But thanks anyways😀
Original post by Anonymous
You’re so right! Thank you so much. Yes I agree with you completely however, I’ve realised that I’m going to just stay away as I’ve recently found some um unusual? things about him and I’m kind of scared. But thanks anyways😀

That is completely fair, you need your safety first!
Reply 6
Talk to him.
He could act differently around them and around you.
You can be good friends outside of his group. I understand your position, he is not a crash like love crash, he is more of a recharge for your batteries of happiness. I had that type of friends in uni, and my housemates are like this for me now.
Try talking to him, or at least text him.
Reply 7
Original post by Kathy89
Talk to him.
He could act differently around them and around you.
You can be good friends outside of his group. I understand your position, he is not a crash like love crash, he is more of a recharge for your batteries of happiness. I had that type of friends in uni, and my housemates are like this for me now.
Try talking to him, or at least text him.

Thank you 🩷
Reply 8
This isn't rocket science is it? And you already know the answer so why are you asking the question?

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