am i destined to be alone at university?

i’m 18 and a female. i’ve never had a relationship since i was 12, which didn’t last very long. i’ve had talking stages, but none of them lasted either. i’ve moved around a lot, so i’ve continuously found it hard to make strong connections. i have friends, but most of them are at least a year older than me and are already in uni or working. i’m also physically disabled, autistic, and i’ve struggled a lot with my mental health.

i’m going to be attending uni in the fall, and i’m worried that i’m going to be looked down for my lack of social experience, and that it’s going to be seen as a red flag. i haven’t had my first kiss or anything which is weird for someone my age. my disabilities don’t help either, because people look down on me for them and sometimes treat me like a child because of it. i’d really like a girlfriend (i’m lesbian) but i’m not sure if that’s ever going to happen. i’ve lost any optimism i’ve had tor that.

am i going to be essentially doomed in uni or am i overthinking things? i would love a fresh start since i’m going far away from my city, but i fear that i’m going to mess that up too. does anyone have advice because i’m totally scared : (

Reply 1

natashaislam

2

Original post by Anonymous #1

i’m 18 and a female. i’ve never had a relationship since i was 12, which didn’t last very long. i’ve had talking stages, but none of them lasted either. i’ve moved around a lot, so i’ve continuously found it hard to make strong connections. i have friends, but most of them are at least a year older than me and are already in uni or working. i’m also physically disabled, autistic, and i’ve struggled a lot with my mental health.
i’m going to be attending uni in the fall, and i’m worried that i’m going to be looked down for my lack of social experience, and that it’s going to be seen as a red flag. i haven’t had my first kiss or anything which is weird for someone my age. my disabilities don’t help either, because people look down on me for them and sometimes treat me like a child because of it. i’d really like a girlfriend (i’m lesbian) but i’m not sure if that’s ever going to happen. i’ve lost any optimism i’ve had tor that.
am i going to be essentially doomed in uni or am i overthinking things? i would love a fresh start since i’m going far away from my city, but i fear that i’m going to mess that up too. does anyone have advice because i’m totally scared : (

Firstly, it's completely understandable to feel anxious about starting university, especially when you've faced challenges in forming connections in the past. However, it's essential to remember that university is a fresh start for everyone, and many students will be in a similar position, adjusting to a new environment and looking to make new friends.
Here are some things to keep in mind:

1.

Your experiences are valid: It's okay not to have had extensive relationship or social experiences at this stage in your life. Everyone's journey is different, and there's no "right" timeline for these things. Your experiences, including your disabilities, have shaped who you are, and they don't define your worth or potential for future connections.

2.

Be open to new opportunities: University offers a diverse environment with various clubs, organizations, and social events. Take advantage of these opportunities to meet new people who share your interests and values. Don't be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and try new activities.

3.

Seek support: Most universities offer support services for students with disabilities and mental health concerns. Don't hesitate to reach out to these resources if you need assistance or accommodations. Additionally, consider joining support groups or seeking counseling to help navigate any challenges you may encounter.

4.

Focus on self-confidence: Confidence plays a significant role in forming connections with others. Work on building your self-esteem and embracing who you are, including your disabilities. Remember that you have unique qualities and perspectives to offer, and the right people will appreciate and respect you for them.

5.

Stay positive: While it's natural to feel apprehensive about starting university, try to maintain a positive outlook and approach this new chapter with optimism. Remind yourself that it's an opportunity for growth, learning, and new experiences.

6.

Be patient: Building meaningful relationships takes time and effort. Don't be discouraged by setbacks or rejections along the way. Keep an open mind and continue to put yourself out there, knowing that genuine connections will come with time.

Ultimately, remember that you deserve love, acceptance, and companionship just like anyone else. Stay true to yourself, be patient, and trust that you will find your place and form meaningful connections at university. You're not doomed; you're embarking on a new adventure with endless possibilities.

Reply 2

Anonymous #2

Lmao this is a straight copy and paste from ChatGPT

Original post by natashaislam

Firstly, it's completely understandable to feel anxious about starting university, especially when you've faced challenges in forming connections in the past. However, it's essential to remember that university is a fresh start for everyone, and many students will be in a similar position, adjusting to a new environment and looking to make new friends.
Here are some things to keep in mind:

1.

Your experiences are valid: It's okay not to have had extensive relationship or social experiences at this stage in your life. Everyone's journey is different, and there's no "right" timeline for these things. Your experiences, including your disabilities, have shaped who you are, and they don't define your worth or potential for future connections.

2.

Be open to new opportunities: University offers a diverse environment with various clubs, organizations, and social events. Take advantage of these opportunities to meet new people who share your interests and values. Don't be afraid to step out of your comfort zone and try new activities.

3.

Seek support: Most universities offer support services for students with disabilities and mental health concerns. Don't hesitate to reach out to these resources if you need assistance or accommodations. Additionally, consider joining support groups or seeking counseling to help navigate any challenges you may encounter.

4.

Focus on self-confidence: Confidence plays a significant role in forming connections with others. Work on building your self-esteem and embracing who you are, including your disabilities. Remember that you have unique qualities and perspectives to offer, and the right people will appreciate and respect you for them.

5.

Stay positive: While it's natural to feel apprehensive about starting university, try to maintain a positive outlook and approach this new chapter with optimism. Remind yourself that it's an opportunity for growth, learning, and new experiences.

6.

Be patient: Building meaningful relationships takes time and effort. Don't be discouraged by setbacks or rejections along the way. Keep an open mind and continue to put yourself out there, knowing that genuine connections will come with time.

Ultimately, remember that you deserve love, acceptance, and companionship just like anyone else. Stay true to yourself, be patient, and trust that you will find your place and form meaningful connections at university. You're not doomed; you're embarking on a new adventure with endless possibilities.

Reply 3

withlove.ym

7

Original post by Anonymous #1

i’m 18 and a female. i’ve never had a relationship since i was 12, which didn’t last very long. i’ve had talking stages, but none of them lasted either. i’ve moved around a lot, so i’ve continuously found it hard to make strong connections. i have friends, but most of them are at least a year older than me and are already in uni or working. i’m also physically disabled, autistic, and i’ve struggled a lot with my mental health.
i’m going to be attending uni in the fall, and i’m worried that i’m going to be looked down for my lack of social experience, and that it’s going to be seen as a red flag. i haven’t had my first kiss or anything which is weird for someone my age. my disabilities don’t help either, because people look down on me for them and sometimes treat me like a child because of it. i’d really like a girlfriend (i’m lesbian) but i’m not sure if that’s ever going to happen. i’ve lost any optimism i’ve had tor that.
am i going to be essentially doomed in uni or am i overthinking things? i would love a fresh start since i’m going far away from my city, but i fear that i’m going to mess that up too. does anyone have advice because i’m totally scared : (

hi ! honestly the best advice i can give you is to not worry about boys and relationships and to focus on yourself instead. you really need to change your mindset and the discourse you tell yourself. and i definitely believe that the universe has a great plan for you, and that you will get everything you want in the right time ! don’t torment yourself too much girlie 😘😘(plus it’s bad for the skin lol)

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by withlove.ym

hi ! honestly the best advice i can give you is to not worry about boys and relationships and to focus on yourself instead. you really need to change your mindset and the discourse you tell yourself. and i definitely believe that the universe has a great plan for you, and that you will get everything you want in the right time ! don’t torment yourself too much girlie 😘😘(plus it’s bad for the skin lol)

girl i wish, but i have such a deep need for validation after being bullied & treated like i’m invisible by sooo many people my age. i know i need to change the way i view myself and work on self love but it’s hard when i can’t find anything to love about myself. i’m honestly not the best looking appearance wise and my personality could use improvement so it’s hard to see anyone loving me genuinely. there’s been people but they all had bad motives, though sometimes i find myself missing them just to feel their attention again D :

Reply 5

withlove.ym

7

Original post by Anonymous #1

girl i wish, but i have such a deep need for validation after being bullied & treated like i’m invisible by sooo many people my age. i know i need to change the way i view myself and work on self love but it’s hard when i can’t find anything to love about myself. i’m honestly not the best looking appearance wise and my personality could use improvement so it’s hard to see anyone loving me genuinely. there’s been people but they all had bad motives, though sometimes i find myself missing them just to feel their attention again D :

i’m very sorry to hear that..ngl i was in the same situation as you a few months ago, especially after a very traumatic breakup w a boy i liked a lot, and also having friendship breakups w a lot of people. i can definitely see my past self in you. what really really helped me is starting taking care of my body by going to the gym but also understanding that a lot of ppl don’t, and won’t like me, so it’s absolutely self-sabotaging to be part of my haters. i also created a Pinterest board that motivated me to change my mindset and my perception of myself. and if you need to talk about it, you can pm me if you want (im not a 70 yo weird grandpa dw 😭). i’m turning 18 soon so we are almost the same age, which means that i’m literally the best psychologist/emotional support you can wish for 🤭🤭

am i destined to be alone at university?

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