Parents and sleeping over at boyfriends house - annoyed

Okay so my dad has told me that Im not allowed to sleep over at my boyfriends house because apparently we've not been going out long enough. Its so annoying because Im 18 (he's 22) I mean I should really be allowed to do what I want now - Im going to be at university without them being there at all in a few months ffs - and surely its better that I have a boyfriend in the first place!
Also..I was allowed to sleep over at my boyfriends house when I was 15 - but apparently, he says this was after we'd been going out for a while. He's didnt let me sleep over at my current boyfriends house after we'd been going out for a week (which I could understand more and didnt want to worsen the situation so I came home) but he says that my boyfriend appears to be eager for me to sleep over and he wants to meet him more first. I said surely you trust me enough and Im old enough to make my own decisions about these things..?

Its so stupid - how can I persuade him to let me stay over? His dad is going to be there its not even like we have the house to ourselves.

Any advice would be appreciated :frown:

Reply 1

Sver

Does your bf have swine flu?

Reply 2

Smtn

16

They tell you what to do at 18? haha

Reply 3

Deano88

12

Your 18 dear, you can do as you please.

Reply 4

shimmee

OP

Deano88

Your 18 dear, you can do as you please.

I know this. And I could go - it would just result in arguments on the phone all night with my dad and me being made to feel very guilty and disappointing as a daughter.

They are normally cool about stuff like this, its so frustrating. I sleep over at parties and stuff all the time and there are no issues at all. Im sure if theyve known the stuff Ive done before- even at clubs, parties, sleepovers etc then he wouldnt think this was a big deal at all :rolleyes:

Its like if I was going to have sex with someone then whats to stop me doing it in the daytime/while other people are around at a party in a separate room? Just because its the night time and Im alone at my boyfriends house suddenly means that it breaks all the rules.

Reply 5

Electric Eel

Maybe if you got pregnant he'd let you sleep over.

Reply 6

Jelephant

12

I wasn't allowed to stay over at my boyfriend's full stop, no matter how long we were going out, even if 20 odd people were going to be there as well. They always let me stay over at "friend x's" house though :wink:

Reply 7

Deano88

12

shimmee

I know this. And I could go - it would just result in arguments on the phone all night with my dad and me being made to feel very guilty and disappointing as a daughter.

They are normally cool about stuff like this, its so frustrating. I sleep over at parties and stuff all the time and there are no issues at all. Im sure if theyve known the stuff Ive done before- even at clubs, parties, sleepovers etc then he wouldnt think this was a big deal at all :rolleyes:

Its like if I was going to have sex with someone then whats to stop me doing it in the daytime/while other people are around at a party in a separate room? Just because its the night time and Im alone at my boyfriends house suddenly means that it breaks all the rules.

I don't think its fair that your dad would make you feel guilty about wanting to stay at your boyfriends house. Your old enough to make your own judgements.

If they haven't had a problem with what you've done in the past, could it be that they have a problem with your boyfriend, rather than what you might do with him.

buy a new dad

OP

Deano88

I don't think its fair your dad should make you feel guilty about wanting to stay at your boyfriends house. Your old enough to make your own judgements.

If they haven't had a problem with what you've done in the past, could it be that they have a problem with your boyfriend, rather than what you might do with him.

I thought this, but they have only met him once and they had a nice polite conversation - I thought they got on pretty well! He's well brought up, dresses well, treats me well so there shouldnt have been a problem there. I think my dad has concerns he is some sort of player (perhaps because of his age) and so they want to build some sort of trust before. They don't understand that it makes no difference though... boyfriends are always going to try and make a good impression whatever kind of person they are - I mean my sister was allowed to sleep over at her boyfriends all the time and he cheated on her and she dumped him. :rolleyes:

She has also had about 10 more boyfriends than me. This is only my second - I told my dad that the reason I have had so few boyfriends is because I make sure I know that I like them and trust them enough before deciding to randomly go out with whoever pops up all the time.

Reply 10

The-Wi$e-One

2

you are an adult, they cannot control you, do as you please

Reply 11

shimmee

OP

samjoe

buy a new dad

I do love my dad despite this. He probably thinks he is doing this for my own good (not sure how though?) And we have actually had some good bonding time recently - I think maybe he is just wanting me to stay as his little girl, doesnt want me to grow up and knows he will miss me when I go to uni. It just sucks.

Reply 12

shimmee

OP

The-Wi$e-One

you are an adult, they cannot control you, do as you please

I know but I will make my dad feel bad and thats not good right before I leave home. Plus if I deliberately go against what he said then he will think that I must be up to something bad and that my boyfriend is 'over eager' and 'pushy' as he suspects. Or that I care about him more than my dad.

Reply 13

dorian gray

14

He's just clinging on to his daughter, it's normal.

Invite your guy over.

Spoiler

Reply 14

shimmee

OP

dorian gray

He's just clinging on to his daughter, it's normal.

Invite your guy over.

Spoiler

Well since my room is tiny and has a single bed and is near my parents bedroom Im pretty sure they would just make him sleep downstairs in my brothers bedroom like they used to do with my ex. And in my opinion thats a bit embarrassing.

God I cant wait for uni. Oh, except that since I have a boyfriend I wont even be able to do what I want and sleep where I want anyway :rolleyes:

Reply 15

laeof

14

Your dad does genuinely seem to care about you though rather then being a controlling freak.
IDK seems like good advice from him tbh...or it would be advice except he's making you do it lol.

Reply 16

Kinsula

9

Lie. That's what I tend to do.

Reply 17

qeorqie

my dad is so much more protective. im 17 and still i am not aloud to stay over a boys house.

Reply 18

Don John

17

shimmee

Okay so my dad has told me that Im not allowed to sleep over at my boyfriends house because apparently we've not been going out long enough. Its so annoying because Im 18 (he's 22) I mean I should really be allowed to do what I want now - Im going to be at university without them being there at all in a few months ffs - and surely its better that I have a boyfriend in the first place!
Also..I was allowed to sleep over at my boyfriends house when I was 15 - but apparently, he says this was after we'd been going out for a while. He's didnt let me sleep over at my current boyfriends house after we'd been going out for a week (which I could understand more and didnt want to worsen the situation so I came home) but he says that my boyfriend appears to be eager for me to sleep over and he wants to meet him more first. I said surely you trust me enough and Im old enough to make my own decisions about these things..?

Its so stupid - how can I persuade him to let me stay over? His dad is going to be there its not even like we have the house to ourselves.

Any advice would be appreciated :frown:

I know exactly what you mean. Their parents are ok about it, but yours aren't. It sucks :frown:

Reply 19

shimmee

OP

Kinsula

Lie. That's what I tend to do.

I used to all the time, and I would except that it'd be a bit obvious if I have conveniently been invited to stay over at 'my friends house' the night I asked if I could sleep it his. :curious:

Parents and sleeping over at boyfriends house - annoyed

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