I'm panicking so much right now!!! I know I shouldn't be, but I am. I am boiling and shaking so much. Why is the world working against me to live a life of misery???? I just want a better life, but it seems to me that now matter how hard I try to better myself, I will always be pushed back into the dysfunction, and it makes me so depressed. I'm not dumb and naive, but I feel so tearful about it all now. I want to move out and never come back. I want to remain independent. But there is always something that's gonna be holding me back and pushing me back into the horrible dysfunction - A Level grades, people, money, recession, unemployment, money worries, stress, depression, etc. Why can't I move out and never come back for uni? Why must I keep going back? I'm trying so hard to leave, why must I return? Why must I go back to square one and mess up my life by going back to the same place once I graduate? Why should I allow myself and my life to be completely messed up just because it is expected of me to 'stick it out' and settle and move back? When will I ever be able to finally live the life I deserve?
I want to be able to leave and to never come back so why can't I?
Sorry if it seems as though I am ranting, but I need to make sure that I don't move back home after uni cos I CAN'T.
Help. I'm lost.