leaving home

Speak to them about how you feel and try to evoke a feeling of trust in them so that they can trust you and just convince them so that they can finally let loose and give you more freedom.

that just won't work, if I tell them I wanna leave I aint ever stepping foot out that house again

Just don't tell them that you wanna leave and

Just make them trust you and give you freedom

they never will they legit have cameras outside my room

Hey guys, so im a brown girl - 18, and I do have a decent life, my parents are financially stable and they provide for me. however, they are really reallyyyy controlling. They check my phone, have access to my bank, nothing is in there but abt 20 quid, I have to ask them regularly for money since they won't let me get a job, they have cameras all over the house including outside my bedroom, they barely ever let me see my friends, I have to skip college to see them. overall, as much as they provide for me they are rlly *****y as they are mentally abusive. I wanted to run away from home for the longest time, I have a plan, money, a safe place to stay, I wanted to go after my last exam on the 16th June and just never come back but I was going to leave a note however, recently my parents are being really nice. a few weeks ago me and my mum got into an argument and she told me to get out the house but now since I have a plan to run away, she doesn't know but she's being really nice and im getting crazy guilt. I understand that once I leave I probably won't be back for a while, but ik if.i dont leave, im forced to be here for 3 months until I start uni. (they won't let me get an accom) and ill be stuck at home for 3 months, not being able to go out and the only way out will be through a marriage.

Give some advice please?

As londonmyst said, they are probably onto you if they track you this much. Your mum is likely acting out of fear that you're taking the necessary steps to actually leave the household in response to what she said (although she'll never apologise), and there could be ulterior motives as well.

What I would suggest is strategising how you'll get access to your important records (birth certificate, passport, NI number) so that you have everything you would need in the real world a few days before your final exam. Then, leave as planned on the 16th. Don't even return home after your exam if you believe they have any suspicion that you'll escape, because as you stated, you might not ever get outside of that house if you do. It might be better to pack a change of clothes instead.

After that, even if they offer anything for you to come home, don't do so. Spend some time away from them first and meet them in another location away from home (preferably public or somewhere you trust) to discuss the reasons you left. It is better to act first and secure your freedom, then explain later.

And remember, you cannot reason with unreasonable parents.

they are not onto me, they've been like this since I turned 18, I have access to all my important documents etc. its just the process of leaving

The nice buddy buddy talk might be temporary, if you can keavi g might be the best option. Say you wanna be independant blah blah, they probably would never accept the real reasons and try to keep a communication line with them but distant, don't let them come into your life fully until you know they've changed.

its different with Asian households, plus ik my dad if I leave he'd probably never want to talk to me again, he's done it w his own sister and its been 10+ years. but they've seriously controlled my life fully, no money, access to my phone and bank constantly, cameras everywhere and no job, im tired but I could never tell them im abt to leave bc ill never get to leave my house or they'll marry me off