My boyfriend has got into drugs.. Do I stay in this relationship?

I said to him that I've already told him I don't feel comfortable with him doing drugs, and he said that he let me go to Ibiza ''selfishly'' without considering him, so I should let him do what he wants and do drugs every now and then....

You are not your boyfriend's possession and he has no say over what you do, so how dare he say he 'let' you go to Ibiza and imply that had he not wanted you to go he would have stopped you? But then again you could turn that one on its head and say that you have no right to stop him taking drugs. Considering the situation, I'd say that there's little you can do here. It sounds to me like maybe he's never felt this level of 'social acceptance' before and so is doing these drugs out of fear of losing these mates of his. People laugh when they hear the term 'peer pressure' and think they're too old or self-assured for that, but you'd be surprised at how powerful and subtle it can be. You've told him what you think, and I understand that you care hugely about him, but at the end of the day he makes his decisions and if he continues to take drugs then so be it and you're going to have to decide whether you want to have a boyfriend who uses drugs or would rather be single or with someone else.

Reply 21

Anonymous #2

MDMA isn't addictive. It isn't damaging. It has a lower hard index than paracetamol, and is certainly less risky than drinking for a multitude of reasons.

Granted, if he thinks he can't have a good night without it, then that's one thing, but I think you're being a bit overzealous about it.

Reply 22

Kitis

3

I’m really confused my b.f and I have been together 2 half years he has very bad cokcaine habit but other then that we get on really well but it’s big problem the family’s don’t want us together and I called his brother yesterday and his brother got pissed off cos he was at work and then he ended up calling my mum and now I havant spoken to my b.f for hole day now and it’s really upsetting me I’m worried he don’t want to be with me anymore 😪😪

Reply 23

Aditi_7

Someone once said that Love is the most powerful thing on this earth. Indeed, it is. If your partner is into drugs it is much of your business to take him out.1.Show your love and care and that you stand with him no matter WHAT? Just show him a better option in you to rely upon than drugs.2.Control your emotions and stand strong. By emotions I mean Tears, Anger and anything that depicts the negativity.3.Think of something which he loves to do, that will keep him engaged.Read more best of the tips at https://www.bonobology.com/5-ways-handle-partner-drugs/

Reply 24

Aditi_7

Someone once said that Love is the most powerful thing on this earth. Indeed, it is. If your partner is into drugs it is much of your business to take him out.

1.

1. Show your love and care and that you stand with him no matter WHAT? Just show him a better option in you to rely upon than drugs.

2.

2. Control your emotions and stand strong. By emotions I mean Tears, Anger and anything that depicts the negativity.

3.

3. Think of something which he loves to do, that will keep him engaged.

Reply 25

RLinds

11

Original post by bethany-x-

Ive been with my boyfriend since the beginning of uni, so about 10 months now and its got pretty serious. He's been such a lovely boyfriend all this time. I love his family and he loves mine and we get on well with each other's friends. But it all started to change a couple of months ago when he started going to house music raves with the boys from our group of friends at uni. He's never really been into raves and all of a sudden he's been so influenced by this group of lads and wants to impress them. He did MDMA one night and then went out with the boys again on another night and did it again. I've always told him I don't like drugs and that my ex boyfriend did drugs (which is why we broke up and Sam knows that) but he still did MDMA anyway. We fell out over it and I told him if he ever does drugs again then I'll lose respect for him.

But then I went to ibiza for 2 weeks this summer with my girlfriends, and when I got back it all changed. He's going on another house night this week with his friends and told me he's doing ecstacy and he did cocaine a few weeks back.. and it just made me feel so upset again. I said to him that I've already told him I don't feel comfortable with him doing drugs, and he said that he let me go to Ibiza ''selfishly'' without considering him, so I should let him do what he wants and do drugs every now and then....

He explained to me that it's not like he does it all the time and he just does it on ''big nights out'' with all of his friends together, which is true, he doesn't do it every week.. but I still don't like the fact he's done it a few times and he wants to have more 'house music' nights out when we go back to uni in September, which will obviously mean he'll be doing drugs more often then!

I asked him what if I'm there on a night out when everyone is doing drugs, what would he do? He said that he wouldnt do it if I was there, but that he'd want to and that he would have a **** night if he was the only one of the boys not doing ecstacy.... So basically even if he didn't take drugs when I'm there with him on a night out, he'll act like hes having a **** night in a strop and make me feel guilty! I can't win :frown:

I just feel so angry because I'm such an easy- going girlfriend and don't care what he does with his life, as long as he's not stupid and doesn't do drugs! So I told him that I feel so disrespected that he just doesn't care how I feel about it and is still planning on doing ecstacy anyway, that I think we need a break from our relationship. In reply, he turned it on me and said that it shows him I clearly don't care about our relationship because I can ''so easily switch off'' and say I want a break. When thats not the case! I just dont want to be with a boyfriend who does drugs.. end of.

I said to him he can go out on Friday and do drugs and see if it was all worth losing his girlfriend because I wont be here after waiting for him.. I just feel like he's chosing drugs over me.. Surely if he cared enough about me, he just wouldn't do drugs?

Am I being too narrow minded or am I being fair? Please help :frown:

Dump him, purely for the fact he is trying to emotionally blackmail you and make you feel bad. you don't need that

Reply 26

Mariannafg

1

I'm currently in a similar situation myself as my boyfriend started talking recreational drugs whilst we were going out and I don't agree with it at all. What situation are you in now may I ask, did it work out in the end? Are you still together?

Original post by bethany-x-

Ive been with my boyfriend since the beginning of uni, so about 10 months now and its got pretty serious. He's been such a lovely boyfriend all this time. I love his family and he loves mine and we get on well with each other's friends. But it all started to change a couple of months ago when he started going to house music raves with the boys from our group of friends at uni. He's never really been into raves and all of a sudden he's been so influenced by this group of lads and wants to impress them. He did MDMA one night and then went out with the boys again on another night and did it again. I've always told him I don't like drugs and that my ex boyfriend did drugs (which is why we broke up and Sam knows that) but he still did MDMA anyway. We fell out over it and I told him if he ever does drugs again then I'll lose respect for him.

But then I went to ibiza for 2 weeks this summer with my girlfriends, and when I got back it all changed. He's going on another house night this week with his friends and told me he's doing ecstacy and he did cocaine a few weeks back.. and it just made me feel so upset again. I said to him that I've already told him I don't feel comfortable with him doing drugs, and he said that he let me go to Ibiza ''selfishly'' without considering him, so I should let him do what he wants and do drugs every now and then....

He explained to me that it's not like he does it all the time and he just does it on ''big nights out'' with all of his friends together, which is true, he doesn't do it every week.. but I still don't like the fact he's done it a few times and he wants to have more 'house music' nights out when we go back to uni in September, which will obviously mean he'll be doing drugs more often then!

I asked him what if I'm there on a night out when everyone is doing drugs, what would he do? He said that he wouldnt do it if I was there, but that he'd want to and that he would have a **** night if he was the only one of the boys not doing ecstacy.... So basically even if he didn't take drugs when I'm there with him on a night out, he'll act like hes having a **** night in a strop and make me feel guilty! I can't win :frown:

I just feel so angry because I'm such an easy- going girlfriend and don't care what he does with his life, as long as he's not stupid and doesn't do drugs! So I told him that I feel so disrespected that he just doesn't care how I feel about it and is still planning on doing ecstacy anyway, that I think we need a break from our relationship. In reply, he turned it on me and said that it shows him I clearly don't care about our relationship because I can ''so easily switch off'' and say I want a break. When thats not the case! I just dont want to be with a boyfriend who does drugs.. end of.

I said to him he can go out on Friday and do drugs and see if it was all worth losing his girlfriend because I wont be here after waiting for him.. I just feel like he's chosing drugs over me.. Surely if he cared enough about me, he just wouldn't do drugs?

Am I being too narrow minded or am I being fair? Please help :frown:

My boyfriend has got into drugs.. Do I stay in this relationship?

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