Dear you,
It’s been almost 7 years since we first met and although we don’t speak anymore, there was a time when we would talk and text each other throughout the day. I sometimes find myself longing for those moments before I remember how hard it was to finally pluck up the courage to end all contact. I use to race towards my mobile when I heard the beep alert of an incoming text, but now I’m glad we’ve stopped talking.
I thought I loved you; I would have done anything for you and the thought of that still scares me. You made me feel horrible about myself, the things I was capable of, the things I would have done just to make you happy and the things I let slide so I could cling on to whatever it was we had. I’m still confused, what was it we had?.. It was nothing, I know that now. I was just something you could manipulate with your words and use to pass time.
It wasn’t all bad, we had some fun times, and we use to sit up all night talking. I never had confidence before, but it was easy talking to you, I could just be myself. What others thought was odd/weird behaviour, you found quirky. Sometimes I wish I hadn’t sent those pictures or said those things, I wish I hadn’t opened up and told you how I felt because it was all a game to you. I knew it and I still couldn’t walk away.
You complimented me and made me feel special even though it was all an attempt to get into my pants; you helped build my confidence when I had none, and now the thing I most hated about myself, I’ve learnt to love.
Whether the good times outweigh the bad is irrelevant, I’m glad I met you, and I’m glad we don’t speak anymore.
Love, me.