I just feel like I'm kind of watching everything through a screen. I feel really removed, detached, like I don't quite belong.
Things happen, really nice things, like when my parents threw a surprise party for me, and all my friends are there, and I smile and laugh because I know its a happy event, and I should be smiling and laughing, but I don't feel it inside.
I'm not a social recluse or anything, I have lots of friends, I go school, work, I go to a lot of parties, and clubbing and that, but nothing ever feels quite real.
I feel really alone, I'm sitting here now, and I just have this horrible uncomfortable feeling in my gut, and I can only describe it as loneliness. I feel sad quite a lot, but not for the right reasons. This girl I really really like told me last night that she could only ever like me as a friend, and that makes me feel sad, but only because I feel like I should be with her.
Thats what it's like, I know how I should be feeling, and I act that way, but I don't really feel it.
The only thing I can really relate it to is that Dextar TV show, if anyones seen it? Not the killing people part, I don't want to kill anyone, but the not really feeling/understanding anything. Thats what it is like for me.
I don't know why I'm telling you all this, or what I hope to achieve, but I just wanted to get it off my chest. I don't really know how anyone can help, but you never know.
Has/does anyone else feel this way?