Was I raped???
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Original post by Anonymous
I'd never do that. One of the reason I am anonymous is so that no-one will question me.
Now I am just waiting for the OP to reply to my text messages
Now I am just waiting for the OP to reply to my text messages
OP won't reply to mine either, I'm scared. I've just called her.
Original post by Anonymous
OP won't reply to mine either, I'm scared. I've just called her.
I think she is asleep, at least that is what she said to me a couple of hours ago.
And dw i would never say who the OP is either
just hope she will be ok
Original post by Anonymous
I think she is asleep, at least that is what she said to me a couple of hours ago.
And dw i would never say who the OP is either
just hope she will be ok
And dw i would never say who the OP is either
just hope she will be ok
I have a tendency to worry about OP. I hope she will be okay. I would never say who OP is either.
I hope she is asleep, although she is never asleep at this hour on most days :/
As someone who works in the field of sexual trauma, a lot of these replies scare me. The lack of basic knowledge about consent.. I really hope the universities you go to or plan to go to have a decent consent training programme.
1. Alcohol levels are measured via blood sample or "reasonable man" quantities. A litre of alcohol is considered a large amount especially when compared to recommended daily allowances. Depending on the alcohol % this can be more than enough to make this scenario statutory rape via inability to consent.
2. Coercion IS rape. If you need to coerce someone to do something then you know they don't want to do it. That's just basic common sense and it still applies with sex.
3. Telling someone your address doesn't indicate consent to sex nor your ability to consent. You can be fine to remember that kind of info (that you're asked to recall a lot) and then the effects of the alcohol can hit.
4. I'm not sure what planet you live on if you don't recognise crying as a sign of someone not enjoying sex.
5. Fight flight freeze and comply are common and accepted responses to an attempted attack; including rape. This is why consent ads and training focus on explicit, continual consent which includes more than the word yes.
6. If someone is raped whilst drunk, high, walking alone, wearing skimpy clothing or because they chose to be friendly, they don't deserve to be raped. None of those things cause rape and you can't accidentally rape someone. The rapist chooses to rape either very consciously or by thinking it's okay to coerce or otherwise put their needs first. Or, thinking it's okay because the person is too drunk to remember/be believed anyway.
To anyone who is reading this thread and might have been raped.. Seriously, seek professional support. Don't hurt yourself and increase that self hate by reading the uninformed or outright wrong rhetoric online. You don't have to report your attack to get help.
Try rape crisis, use google to search for specialist counselling charities or therapists in your area, RAINN have an online chat service which is open to all countries. Don't suffer in silence but more importantly don't believe anyone who tells you that's it's your fault or that you have some responsibility to share. You don't. That's comment comes because people want to believe they could prevent rape if they behaved a certain way. Rather than focussing on the rapists
1. Alcohol levels are measured via blood sample or "reasonable man" quantities. A litre of alcohol is considered a large amount especially when compared to recommended daily allowances. Depending on the alcohol % this can be more than enough to make this scenario statutory rape via inability to consent.
2. Coercion IS rape. If you need to coerce someone to do something then you know they don't want to do it. That's just basic common sense and it still applies with sex.
3. Telling someone your address doesn't indicate consent to sex nor your ability to consent. You can be fine to remember that kind of info (that you're asked to recall a lot) and then the effects of the alcohol can hit.
4. I'm not sure what planet you live on if you don't recognise crying as a sign of someone not enjoying sex.
5. Fight flight freeze and comply are common and accepted responses to an attempted attack; including rape. This is why consent ads and training focus on explicit, continual consent which includes more than the word yes.
6. If someone is raped whilst drunk, high, walking alone, wearing skimpy clothing or because they chose to be friendly, they don't deserve to be raped. None of those things cause rape and you can't accidentally rape someone. The rapist chooses to rape either very consciously or by thinking it's okay to coerce or otherwise put their needs first. Or, thinking it's okay because the person is too drunk to remember/be believed anyway.
To anyone who is reading this thread and might have been raped.. Seriously, seek professional support. Don't hurt yourself and increase that self hate by reading the uninformed or outright wrong rhetoric online. You don't have to report your attack to get help.
Try rape crisis, use google to search for specialist counselling charities or therapists in your area, RAINN have an online chat service which is open to all countries. Don't suffer in silence but more importantly don't believe anyone who tells you that's it's your fault or that you have some responsibility to share. You don't. That's comment comes because people want to believe they could prevent rape if they behaved a certain way. Rather than focussing on the rapists
Original post by ~Tara~
As someone who works in the field of sexual trauma, a lot of these replies scare me. The lack of basic knowledge about consent.. I really hope the universities you go to or plan to go to have a decent consent training programme.
1. Alcohol levels are measured via blood sample or "reasonable man" quantities. A litre of alcohol is considered a large amount especially when compared to recommended daily allowances. Depending on the alcohol % this can be more than enough to make this scenario statutory rape via inability to consent.
2. Coercion IS rape. If you need to coerce someone to do something then you know they don't want to do it. That's just basic common sense and it still applies with sex.
3. Telling someone your address doesn't indicate consent to sex nor your ability to consent. You can be fine to remember that kind of info (that you're asked to recall a lot) and then the effects of the alcohol can hit.
4. I'm not sure what planet you live on if you don't recognise crying as a sign of someone not enjoying sex.
5. Fight flight freeze and comply are common and accepted responses to an attempted attack; including rape. This is why consent ads and training focus on explicit, continual consent which includes more than the word yes.
6. If someone is raped whilst drunk, high, walking alone, wearing skimpy clothing or because they chose to be friendly, they don't deserve to be raped. None of those things cause rape and you can't accidentally rape someone. The rapist chooses to rape either very consciously or by thinking it's okay to coerce or otherwise put their needs first. Or, thinking it's okay because the person is too drunk to remember/be believed anyway.
To anyone who is reading this thread and might have been raped.. Seriously, seek professional support. Don't hurt yourself and increase that self hate by reading the uninformed or outright wrong rhetoric online. You don't have to report your attack to get help.
Try rape crisis, use google to search for specialist counselling charities or therapists in your area, RAINN have an online chat service which is open to all countries. Don't suffer in silence but more importantly don't believe anyone who tells you that's it's your fault or that you have some responsibility to share. You don't. That's comment comes because people want to believe they could prevent rape if they behaved a certain way. Rather than focussing on the rapists
1. Alcohol levels are measured via blood sample or "reasonable man" quantities. A litre of alcohol is considered a large amount especially when compared to recommended daily allowances. Depending on the alcohol % this can be more than enough to make this scenario statutory rape via inability to consent.
2. Coercion IS rape. If you need to coerce someone to do something then you know they don't want to do it. That's just basic common sense and it still applies with sex.
3. Telling someone your address doesn't indicate consent to sex nor your ability to consent. You can be fine to remember that kind of info (that you're asked to recall a lot) and then the effects of the alcohol can hit.
4. I'm not sure what planet you live on if you don't recognise crying as a sign of someone not enjoying sex.
5. Fight flight freeze and comply are common and accepted responses to an attempted attack; including rape. This is why consent ads and training focus on explicit, continual consent which includes more than the word yes.
6. If someone is raped whilst drunk, high, walking alone, wearing skimpy clothing or because they chose to be friendly, they don't deserve to be raped. None of those things cause rape and you can't accidentally rape someone. The rapist chooses to rape either very consciously or by thinking it's okay to coerce or otherwise put their needs first. Or, thinking it's okay because the person is too drunk to remember/be believed anyway.
To anyone who is reading this thread and might have been raped.. Seriously, seek professional support. Don't hurt yourself and increase that self hate by reading the uninformed or outright wrong rhetoric online. You don't have to report your attack to get help.
Try rape crisis, use google to search for specialist counselling charities or therapists in your area, RAINN have an online chat service which is open to all countries. Don't suffer in silence but more importantly don't believe anyone who tells you that's it's your fault or that you have some responsibility to share. You don't. That's comment comes because people want to believe they could prevent rape if they behaved a certain way. Rather than focussing on the rapists
If OP was raped, she should go to the police no?
Original post by Anonymous
I have a tendency to worry about OP. I hope she will be okay. I would never say who OP is either.
I hope she is asleep, although she is never asleep at this hour on most days :/
I hope she is asleep, although she is never asleep at this hour on most days :/
Do you know OP irl? Or did you meet OP via this forum.
If you met her via this forum then OMG i might know who she is, and she now thinks im an ass for everything iv said.
Unfortunately I stand by my words.
If OP isnt who I think it is, then "Move along..Move along.."
I don't think "should" is the right answer no. Maybe if people don't immediately jump to tell a rape victim they weren't raped or that they were drunk and stupid so partly to blame, maybe victims would report rape the way others feel safe to report other crimes. But it's a long, stressful process that usually doesn't result in a trial and even more commonly doesn't result in a conviction.
I think we should support people in their decision to report or not report. Personally I would encourage reporting but only if it was safe for that person to do so, including safe in relation to their mental health too. It's not something people can do without support and often the type of counselling they can have is very limited.
I think we should support people in their decision to report or not report. Personally I would encourage reporting but only if it was safe for that person to do so, including safe in relation to their mental health too. It's not something people can do without support and often the type of counselling they can have is very limited.
Original post by ~Tara~
As someone who works in the field of sexual trauma, a lot of these replies scare me. The lack of basic knowledge about consent.. I really hope the universities you go to or plan to go to have a decent consent training programme.
1. Alcohol levels are measured via blood sample or "reasonable man" quantities. A litre of alcohol is considered a large amount especially when compared to recommended daily allowances. Depending on the alcohol % this can be more than enough to make this scenario statutory rape via inability to consent.
2. Coercion IS rape. If you need to coerce someone to do something then you know they don't want to do it. That's just basic common sense and it still applies with sex.
3. Telling someone your address doesn't indicate consent to sex nor your ability to consent. You can be fine to remember that kind of info (that you're asked to recall a lot) and then the effects of the alcohol can hit.
4. I'm not sure what planet you live on if you don't recognise crying as a sign of someone not enjoying sex.
5. Fight flight freeze and comply are common and accepted responses to an attempted attack; including rape. This is why consent ads and training focus on explicit, continual consent which includes more than the word yes.
6. If someone is raped whilst drunk, high, walking alone, wearing skimpy clothing or because they chose to be friendly, they don't deserve to be raped. None of those things cause rape and you can't accidentally rape someone. The rapist chooses to rape either very consciously or by thinking it's okay to coerce or otherwise put their needs first. Or, thinking it's okay because the person is too drunk to remember/be believed anyway.
To anyone who is reading this thread and might have been raped.. Seriously, seek professional support. Don't hurt yourself and increase that self hate by reading the uninformed or outright wrong rhetoric online. You don't have to report your attack to get help.
Try rape crisis, use google to search for specialist counselling charities or therapists in your area, RAINN have an online chat service which is open to all countries. Don't suffer in silence but more importantly don't believe anyone who tells you that's it's your fault or that you have some responsibility to share. You don't. That's comment comes because people want to believe they could prevent rape if they behaved a certain way. Rather than focussing on the rapists
1. Alcohol levels are measured via blood sample or "reasonable man" quantities. A litre of alcohol is considered a large amount especially when compared to recommended daily allowances. Depending on the alcohol % this can be more than enough to make this scenario statutory rape via inability to consent.
2. Coercion IS rape. If you need to coerce someone to do something then you know they don't want to do it. That's just basic common sense and it still applies with sex.
3. Telling someone your address doesn't indicate consent to sex nor your ability to consent. You can be fine to remember that kind of info (that you're asked to recall a lot) and then the effects of the alcohol can hit.
4. I'm not sure what planet you live on if you don't recognise crying as a sign of someone not enjoying sex.
5. Fight flight freeze and comply are common and accepted responses to an attempted attack; including rape. This is why consent ads and training focus on explicit, continual consent which includes more than the word yes.
6. If someone is raped whilst drunk, high, walking alone, wearing skimpy clothing or because they chose to be friendly, they don't deserve to be raped. None of those things cause rape and you can't accidentally rape someone. The rapist chooses to rape either very consciously or by thinking it's okay to coerce or otherwise put their needs first. Or, thinking it's okay because the person is too drunk to remember/be believed anyway.
To anyone who is reading this thread and might have been raped.. Seriously, seek professional support. Don't hurt yourself and increase that self hate by reading the uninformed or outright wrong rhetoric online. You don't have to report your attack to get help.
Try rape crisis, use google to search for specialist counselling charities or therapists in your area, RAINN have an online chat service which is open to all countries. Don't suffer in silence but more importantly don't believe anyone who tells you that's it's your fault or that you have some responsibility to share. You don't. That's comment comes because people want to believe they could prevent rape if they behaved a certain way. Rather than focussing on the rapists
Fight flight freeze and comply is a real genuine thing.
And further exacerbates these grey areas with consent.
You can't say no or physically resist if you're frozen and paralysed, mentally and physically.
Original post by ~Tara~
I don't think "should" is the right answer no. Maybe if people don't immediately jump to tell a rape victim they weren't raped or that they were drunk and stupid so partly to blame, maybe victims would report rape the way others feel safe to report other crimes. But it's a long, stressful process that usually doesn't result in a trial and even more commonly doesn't result in a conviction.
I think we should support people in their decision to report or not report. Personally I would encourage reporting but only if it was safe for that person to do so, including safe in relation to their mental health too. It's not something people can do without support and often the type of counselling they can have is very limited.
I think we should support people in their decision to report or not report. Personally I would encourage reporting but only if it was safe for that person to do so, including safe in relation to their mental health too. It's not something people can do without support and often the type of counselling they can have is very limited.
Hold on a second. By OP not posting her story, she would have no one to tell her she was not raped.
But from the lack of evidence OP presented, and what she has actually presented, it sounds a lot like regret.
Rape is illegal, if the crime was committed go to the police and/or seek professional help, I know this forum is a good place to vent, but if you were stabbed would you post about it online before you go to the police?
The term rape is overly used nowadays, and is usually biased in favor of females.
example:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2016/02/17/montana-quarterback-receives-245k-settlement-for-universitys-unfair-and-biased-rape-investigation/
Being wrongfully accused of rape and seriously ruin a persons life (the person being acused), especially if its due to delusions (not saying OP has delusions, just saying some people believe they were raped, when they were not)
Original post by ripjonsnow
If OP was raped, she should go to the police no?
She doesn't want to. Can you really blame her? This thread is a perfect illustration of why so many victims are reluctant to report rape.
Original post by Ethereal World
Fight flight freeze and comply is a real genuine thing.
And further exacerbates these grey areas with consent.
You can't say no or physically resist if you're frozen and paralysed, mentally and physically.
And further exacerbates these grey areas with consent.
You can't say no or physically resist if you're frozen and paralysed, mentally and physically.
I know what you mean but I don't think there's anything gray about rape and consent. If someone isn't actively responding in a positive way, you should presume they're no longer into it and stop. It's up to the other person to then say what's going on for them if they are actually okay.
You know when someone isn't moving and is quiet. You don't need to be in a relationship with that person or even stone cold sober to know that.
If you're a good lover, you pay attention to your partner and not just your own gratification. Which means you'd notice and _want_ to notice when they're not that into whatever you're doing because you're invested in giving them the best orgasm. Or whatever. It's not just about rape prevention - being this observant and considerate makes consensual sex better.
It's difficult to argue with those benefits
Original post by Anonymous
She doesn't want to. Can you really blame her? This thread is a perfect illustration of why so many victims are reluctant to report rape.
Seeing how ALOT of the time men are falsely accused leading to it ruining their lives for being accused, which is the reason Im defending mens rights in this thread.
Im sick of men being falsely accused due to self gain or regrets.
If you have been raped, I strongly suggest you go to the police. Nothing else will do justice.
EDIT: Seriosuly. Go to the police if you have been raped. By not going to the police you are letting another rapist freely roam the streets.
Original post by ripjonsnow
Hold on a second. By OP not posting her story, she would have no one to tell her she was not raped.
But from the lack of evidence OP presented, and what she has actually presented, it sounds a lot like regret.
Rape is illegal, if the crime was committed go to the police and/or seek professional help, I know this forum is a good place to vent, but if you were stabbed would you post about it online before you go to the police?
The term rape is overly used nowadays, and is usually biased in favor of females.
example:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2016/02/17/montana-quarterback-receives-245k-settlement-for-universitys-unfair-and-biased-rape-investigation/
Being wrongfully accused of rape and seriously ruin a persons life (the person being acused), especially if its due to delusions (not saying OP has delusions, just saying some people believe they were raped, when they were not)
But from the lack of evidence OP presented, and what she has actually presented, it sounds a lot like regret.
Rape is illegal, if the crime was committed go to the police and/or seek professional help, I know this forum is a good place to vent, but if you were stabbed would you post about it online before you go to the police?
The term rape is overly used nowadays, and is usually biased in favor of females.
example:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2016/02/17/montana-quarterback-receives-245k-settlement-for-universitys-unfair-and-biased-rape-investigation/
Being wrongfully accused of rape and seriously ruin a persons life (the person being acused), especially if its due to delusions (not saying OP has delusions, just saying some people believe they were raped, when they were not)
I know you mean well and I understand your points. But being stabbed and having sex that you don't think you consented to but aren't sure if it's rape are two completely separate things.
a lot of complex psychology surrounds the build up to and act of sex. I often haven't explicitly consented to a boyfriend of mine but was I raped when we had sex? Obviously not.
But when you don't explicitly consent and in your mind you don't feel like you've implicitly consented it's very confusing. Especially if you can objectively see what some of the things you did might have seem like implied consent and therefore it's not exactly fair to turn round and say that was rape.
With situations like OP's comes confusion and uncertainty around what this was. Even if every single person said yes this was rape she may still not want to go to the police because going through that process can be just as bad in itself.
If anything she's preventing any further post traumatic stress type delusion by using TSR for advice and getting different opinions so that maybe she can have closure in her mind.
Original post by Anonymous
She doesn't want to. Can you really blame her? This thread is a perfect illustration of why so many victims are reluctant to report rape.
Still no clarification on the boyfriend. She barely mentions him, i'd have thought that his reaction might have been her main concern. Obviously if she was raped she should report it, and the circumstances are suspicious, but if she cheated her credibility is under question in my view.
I can't trust the word of a stranger who betrays the person closest to them.
Original post by ~Tara~
I know what you mean but I don't think there's anything gray about rape and consent. If someone isn't actively responding in a positive way, you should presume they're no longer into it and stop. It's up to the other person to then say what's going on for them if they are actually okay.
You know when someone isn't moving and is quiet. You don't need to be in a relationship with that person or even stone cold sober to know that.
If you're a good lover, you pay attention to your partner and not just your own gratification. Which means you'd notice and _want_ to notice when they're not that into whatever you're doing because you're invested in giving them the best orgasm. Or whatever. It's not just about rape prevention - being this observant and considerate makes consensual sex better.
It's difficult to argue with those benefits
You know when someone isn't moving and is quiet. You don't need to be in a relationship with that person or even stone cold sober to know that.
If you're a good lover, you pay attention to your partner and not just your own gratification. Which means you'd notice and _want_ to notice when they're not that into whatever you're doing because you're invested in giving them the best orgasm. Or whatever. It's not just about rape prevention - being this observant and considerate makes consensual sex better.
It's difficult to argue with those benefits
I'm not arguing with them but the onus shouldn't just be on the guy and plus if he's drunk and it's just a one night thing how is he supposed to pick up on such cues. Is this rule don't have sex if anyone is drunk if you don't know them? Idk. I think there is a grey area both objectively and from personal experience.
It doesn't have to be rape or consensual sex, I believe there is a grey area.
Original post by ripjonsnow
Hold on a second. By OP not posting her story, she would have no one to tell her she was not raped.
But from the lack of evidence OP presented, and what she has actually presented, it sounds a lot like regret.
Rape is illegal, if the crime was committed go to the police and/or seek professional help, I know this forum is a good place to vent, but if you were stabbed would you post about it online before you go to the police?
The term rape is overly used nowadays, and is usually biased in favor of females.
example:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2016/02/17/montana-quarterback-receives-245k-settlement-for-universitys-unfair-and-biased-rape-investigation/
Being wrongfully accused of rape and seriously ruin a persons life (the person being acused), especially if its due to delusions (not saying OP has delusions, just saying some people believe they were raped, when they were not)
But from the lack of evidence OP presented, and what she has actually presented, it sounds a lot like regret.
Rape is illegal, if the crime was committed go to the police and/or seek professional help, I know this forum is a good place to vent, but if you were stabbed would you post about it online before you go to the police?
The term rape is overly used nowadays, and is usually biased in favor of females.
example:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2016/02/17/montana-quarterback-receives-245k-settlement-for-universitys-unfair-and-biased-rape-investigation/
Being wrongfully accused of rape and seriously ruin a persons life (the person being acused), especially if its due to delusions (not saying OP has delusions, just saying some people believe they were raped, when they were not)
I'm not really sure what point you're trying to make here because you're a bit all over the place.
1. Comparing it to being stabbed is like comparing the sun to the moon. Are you confused about being stabbed? were you coerced into walking into the knife? Will people judge you if you are drunk when you are stabbed?
2. The home office and keir starmer released a report within the last few years which looked at false reporting and how uncommon it was. It's worth reading.
3. The occurrence of male rape victims and the way society treats them is really irrelevant to this scenario. And I really don't see what your point is with this.
4. It's really none of your business if they report. Reporting now, reporting in 40 years time or never reporting holds no relevance to the truth of a rape and the law believes as such.
Original post by Anonymous
I have a tendency to worry about OP. I hope she will be okay. I would never say who OP is either.
I hope she is asleep, although she is never asleep at this hour on most days :/
I hope she is asleep, although she is never asleep at this hour on most days :/
Yeah same she can be rather impulsive, and yeah i agree, usually she is up late but she said something about being washed out and stuff so she wait ill check what she said....
yeah she said something along the lines of although it is early she felt drained and said goodnight
so hopefully she is ok
xOriginal post by Ethereal World
I know you mean well and I understand your points. But being stabbed and having sex that you don't think you consented to but aren't sure if it's rape are two completely separate things.
a lot of complex psychology surrounds the build up to and act of sex. I often haven't explicitly consented to a boyfriend of mine but was I raped when we had sex? Obviously not.
But when you don't explicitly consent and in your mind you don't feel like you've implicitly consented it's very confusing. Especially if you can objectively see what some of the things you did might have seem like implied consent and therefore it's not exactly fair to turn round and say that was rape.
With situations like OP's comes confusion and uncertainty around what this was. Even if every single person said yes this was rape she may still not want to go to the police because going through that process can be just as bad in itself.
If anything she's preventing any further post traumatic stress type delusion by using TSR for advice and getting different opinions so that maybe she can have closure in her mind.
a lot of complex psychology surrounds the build up to and act of sex. I often haven't explicitly consented to a boyfriend of mine but was I raped when we had sex? Obviously not.
But when you don't explicitly consent and in your mind you don't feel like you've implicitly consented it's very confusing. Especially if you can objectively see what some of the things you did might have seem like implied consent and therefore it's not exactly fair to turn round and say that was rape.
With situations like OP's comes confusion and uncertainty around what this was. Even if every single person said yes this was rape she may still not want to go to the police because going through that process can be just as bad in itself.
If anything she's preventing any further post traumatic stress type delusion by using TSR for advice and getting different opinions so that maybe she can have closure in her mind.
I understand.
OP doesnt think she's been raped though, she is questioning it.
She also drank a considerably large amount of alcohol, which diminishes a lot of OPs character and responsibility. If you cant handle your drink. Dont.
If OP wasnt drinking/drunk, she has a valid case (semi) although she was drinking alcohol, she claims she was drunk, yer remembers clear details, such as the alleged was not drunk. How could she know this for the whole experience? How did she begin communcation with the alleged?
Most importantly:
WHAT DID SHE SAY TO THE ALLEGED IN THE BUS TO LEAD HIM TO TAKE HER TO HIS HOME?
If the alleged approached OP, OP can go to the police and use that as evidence supporting her case. If it was the other way around...well.. whoes to blame then?
Original post by Ethereal World
I'm not arguing with them but the onus shouldn't just be on the guy and plus if he's drunk and it's just a one night thing how is he supposed to pick up on such cues. Is this rule don't have sex if anyone is drunk if you don't know them? Idk. I think there is a grey area both objectively and from personal experience.
It doesn't have to be rape or consensual sex, I believe there is a grey area.
It doesn't have to be rape or consensual sex, I believe there is a grey area.
I think we can agree to disagree on the grey area thing. It's certainly an idea that prevails on support sites, particularly US based ones.
In terms of onus on the guy. I don't believe it is or should be. I was writing to all genders when I wrote. Especially because I know and understand that an erection doesn't equal consent.
Original post by ~Tara~
I think we can agree to disagree on the grey area thing. It's certainly an idea that prevails on support sites, particularly US based ones.
In terms of onus on the guy. I don't believe it is or should be. I was writing to all genders when I wrote. Especially because I know and understand that an erection doesn't equal consent.
In terms of onus on the guy. I don't believe it is or should be. I was writing to all genders when I wrote. Especially because I know and understand that an erection doesn't equal consent.
Is this like a textbook response or an personal experience based response ?
Because trust me, on personal experience, the grey area does exist and dichotomising it is part of the problem.
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