Anyone ever feel that they don't deserve friends?

Just wondering if anyone feels the same tbh.
I don't have millions of friends, mostly loose acquaintances i have that i dont see outside of school. I do have a few 'online friends' whom i speak to reguarly.
I just feel like i don't really deserve any of them tbh, i really dont understand what they see in me or why they want to talk to me because i wouldn't. I ask them repeatedly why they want to be friends with me and they dont really seem to know lol.
Someone inrl told me that they were my 'friend' and i nearly fell off my chair because although i really like her i had never thought she had seen me as that tbh even though i suppose it is obvious considering we talk all the time etc
I just feel like i dont deserve any of them and everyone is so much better than me idk why they bother wasting their time on me bc im pathetic especially compared to their amazingness.
anyone else feel like this?

Reply 1

username2088165

20

I've also felt a similar way in the past. I didn't have the best group of friends in high school, and I ended up cutting contact with them in college because I realised they weren't real friends at all (they excluded me from their circle at break times, didn't include me in their conversations etc, and eventually stopped acknowledging my existence altogether!). I was deeply hurt by the way they had treated me, and it made me wonder, do I even deserve to have friends, if I can't even hang onto rubbish ones?

It's taken me over 2 years to finally stop being upset over their behaviour towards me. I know my situation isn't exactly the same as yours, but I hope you feel less alone in having these thoughts now :smile:

Reply 2

Charles Dupiau

12

Friends don't deserve me.

Reply 3

Pinkberry_y

19

Original post by Anonymous

Just wondering if anyone feels the same tbh.
I don't have millions of friends, mostly loose acquaintances i have that i dont see outside of school. I do have a few 'online friends' whom i speak to reguarly.
I just feel like i don't really deserve any of them tbh, i really dont understand what they see in me or why they want to talk to me because i wouldn't. I ask them repeatedly why they want to be friends with me and they dont really seem to know lol.
Someone inrl told me that they were my 'friend' and i nearly fell off my chair because although i really like her i had never thought she had seen me as that tbh even though i suppose it is obvious considering we talk all the time etc
I just feel like i dont deserve any of them and everyone is so much better than me idk why they bother wasting their time on me bc im pathetic especially compared to their amazingness.
anyone else feel like this?

You need to increase your feeling of self worth. I know that's easier said than done but what is it that makes you think you don't deserve friends? Are you a bad person? I highly doubt it. Sure friends come and go but if you can find someone who you understand and they understand you get to know them more because they could have a real positive impact on your life.

Reply 4

Personinsertname

19

You're certainly in a unique position from most. I always have to initiate conversations myself. Unless they are asking about the next upcoming test or homework. :redface:

Reply 5

ELVsLP

2

if you don't think you're good enough then make friends with crappy people. won't feel so bad then

Reply 6

shawn_o1

21

Do you feel an incredible urge to say stuff that would sway people's perception of you such that you would be left alone to do whatever you wanted? Do you always make excuses to not go out with people you know? If you do go out in groups, are you the one that never talks? Do you find it hard to show enthusiasm in something, like, are you worried how your reactions to stimuli will be judged by others?

If so, I empathise.

(edited 7 years ago)

Reply 7

Hashtosh302

2

Original post by ELVsLP

if you don't think you're good enough then make friends with crappy people. won't feel so bad then

this is funny lol

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Leviathan1741

I've also felt a similar way in the past. I didn't have the best group of friends in high school, and I ended up cutting contact with them in college because I realised they weren't real friends at all (they excluded me from their circle at break times, didn't include me in their conversations etc, and eventually stopped acknowledging my existence altogether!). I was deeply hurt by the way they had treated me, and it made me wonder, do I even deserve to have friends, if I can't even hang onto rubbish ones?

It's taken me over 2 years to finally stop being upset over their behaviour towards me. I know my situation isn't exactly the same as yours, but I hope you feel less alone in having these thoughts now :smile:

Thank you Leviathan, i can relate to that tbh as i've felt the same when people who ik were rubbish to me have just abandoned me
thank you :hugs:

Original post by Charles Dupiau

Friends don't deserve me.

take your arrogance elsewhere

Original post by Pinkberry_y

You need to increase your feeling of self worth. I know that's easier said than done but what is it that makes you think you don't deserve friends? Are you a bad person? I highly doubt it. Sure friends come and go but if you can find someone who you understand and they understand you get to know them more because they could have a real positive impact on your life.

i would if there was anything to have worth about :redface:

and yeh tbh i'm obsessive, selfish and annoying tbh :/
Thank you i hope so :hugs:

Original post by Personinsertname

You're certainly in a unique position from most. I always have to initiate conversations myself. Unless they are asking about the next upcoming test or homework. :redface:

can relate :redface:

a lot of people only seem to want to copy my work but i would say if your friends are like that then they aren't really friends tbh x

Original post by ELVsLP

if you don't think you're good enough then make friends with crappy people. won't feel so bad then

Actually it feels worse to be friends with crappy people. because you think you deserve their rubbish because you yourself are so awful. and then when they abandon you you feel like you deserve it so thanks but no thanks and quite a few of my friends aren't brilliant but i put up with it bc they are better than i am

Original post by shawn_o1

Do you feel an incredible urge to say stuff that would sway people's perception of you such that you would be left alone to do whatever you wanted? Do you always make excuses to not go out with people you know? If you do go out in groups, are you the one that never talks? Do you find it hard to show enthusiasm in something, like, are you worried how your reactions to stimuli will be judged by others?

If so, I empathise.

yes
yes
kind of

and

:hugs:

Original post by Hashtosh302

this is funny lol

hilarious

Reply 9