Oh god yeah that's Crappy, I think a lot of gay guys feel like that, I definitely do and I've done that before crying for 10mins straight because you get so worked up about how disgusted you are at yourself and have been comparing yourself to others the whole day. Well sometimes it gets better and you don't feel so bad only to look in the mirror and be angry again or you don't mind that and it's a photo that you see of yourself and then it starts again. Now for me I've been told I'm a normal average guy, however I have some appearance handicaps, I have a missing front tooth that I have dentures for and thinning hair. Now maybe to you that might not seem bad but every time I look at it despise myself. So after having done that a while I recede into myself and focus on personal development study and learning for myself, it's as though I say I'm so ugly **** it I'm going to be smart then instead and I'll be witty and funny I'll just drink and go out socialing and even those pretty boys think I'm ugh then **** them too. For a while I don't care I say to myself that I'm fine for now I don't like aspects of myself but I'll work hard to 'fix' them I'll be buff at the gym and I'll work to save up to get better teeth hair nose face. I hate thinking like I need to fix anything but it gets me through thinking I'll make changes and I can control my appearance This isn't really advice on how to cope but just a matter of fact that I get what you feel and that your not alone, but also that despite what you think a lot of men probably don't think your ugly as much as you think, to me that's true but I don't fit an ideal which upsets me too much which I suspect is true enough for you too.