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Boyfriend lied about drugs

I'd be pretty damn pissed if I found out my boyfriend had been lying to me for months, irrelevant of what it was he was lying about. I don't understand why if you don't have a problem with drugs he felt the need to lie though?

Reply 21

Anonymous #2

This thread makes me pity a lot of perfectly hardworking, decent, loving, intelligent guys who just happen to smoke cannabis every week or so.

And there are quite a few. They're just not as loud.

Reply 22

34253

2

I have friends whose girlfriends force them to lie about taking drugs, even just smoking some pot. It is an equally horrible experience for both of you to be in, so perhaps just end it so he can go out with someone who isn't a bit narky?

Reply 23

oldlady01

I wouldn't date a liar - period.
(I also wouldn't date a person that I suspected to do drugs - but that's beside the point in this situation).

Reply 24

Anonymous #1

OP

Elipsis

I have friends whose girlfriends force them to lie about taking drugs, even just smoking some pot. It is an equally horrible experience for both of you to be in, so perhaps just end it so he can go out with someone who isn't a bit narky?

I wish people like you would read properly, you are completely missing the point here. I DONT CARE that he has taken drugs, i personally wouldnt take them but its his choice to. Its the lies.

Reply 25

L i b

19

Ronar

Depends what drugs :p:

If he's lying about taking cocaine everyday then dump

At least he wouldn't fat.

Reply 26

cec200

maybe you shouldn't put him in a position that he feels the need to lie to you about things like this.

Reply 27

Anonymous #1

OP

FrancesO

People seem to be missing the point here...

My boyfriend did something very similar, I won't say over what, but it was the fact that he lied about that upset me. I didn't even care that he did what he did. I forgave him pretty quickly, but it took me a much longer time to trust him again.

Make sure he knows that it's the lying you're upset about rather than the drugs, and that you need to be able to trust him to be honest with you.

Thanks you :smile:

. someone who understands! He does understand that he has upset me, but its not the first time he has lied to me over such stupid things. Trust is so so important to me, and we work so well together apart from these lies, it just feels such a shame to end something so good over something like this. But at the same time I dont know how it could work without trust :frown:

.

Reply 28

34253

2

Anonymous

I wish people like you would read properly, you are completely missing the point here. I DONT CARE that he has taken drugs, i personally wouldnt take them but its his choice to. Its the lies.

Why does he feel the need to lie to you about it then?

Reply 29

sidi

1

What would concern me is what else is he lying about that you don't know about? I'm afraid for me once the trust has gone that would be it.

Reply 30

vander Beth

13

If you are considering forgiving him, I think you should talk to him about why he felt the need to lie. This is also a trust issue.

Reply 31

Anonymous #2

Anonymous

Thanks you :smile:

. someone who understands! He does understand that he has upset me, but its not the first time he has lied to me over such stupid things. Trust is so so important to me, and we work so well together apart from these lies, it just feels such a shame to end something so good over something like this. But at the same time I dont know how it could work without trust :frown:

.

You must understand that opinions on these issues can differ massively from girl to girl. Sometimes when someone is scared about the reaction, they'll lie, put it off, etc.

Imagine if you had been a different person and been extremely anti drugs, but he still really liked you? He'd want to stay with you but if you knew you'd probably dump him.

Trust is also a factor that depends on how long a relationship has been going on. How long have you been together? If he has known you for longer, he should feel more comfortable with this. If he's been with you for a year or so, well he's just really really silly.

Reply 32

FrancesO

9

Anonymous

Thanks you :smile:

. someone who understands! He does understand that he has upset me, but its not the first time he has lied to me over such stupid things. Trust is so so important to me, and we work so well together apart from these lies, it just feels such a shame to end something so good over something like this. But at the same time I dont know how it could work without trust :frown:

.

It'll come back :smile:

just give it some time, if you think it's worth it.

Reply 33

Ronar

15

L i b

At least he wouldn't fat.

It's the missing septum and egotism that would get to me :p:

At least someone on ecstacy gives out a bit of lovin :sexface:

Reply 34

Tefhel

12

Well I'd dump her if I found out my gf was doing illegal drugs, especially if she had been lying about it for 3 years. I wouldn't feel I could trust her at all after that, and after lying about something pretty major.

Reply 35

The_resurrection

6

Anonymous

I wish people like you would read properly, you are completely missing the point here. I DONT CARE that he has taken drugs, i personally wouldnt take them but its his choice to. Its the lies.

You missed his point. Why does he feel the need to lie to you? Because you are a naive, uppity bitch most probably. Stop being so controlling.

Reply 36

Aelred

2

When I was younger I might have been more forgiving, but having recently come out of a long-distance relationship of several years with someone who I found out had been lying to me and other people about a lot of things, now I would get out of the relationship and stay well away. If he's been lying about several things even after you asked him to stop doing it, he clearly isn't someone you can trust and doesn't appear to care that much about your feelings. It's admirable that you don't want to "throw the relationship away", but I think you're being naive (in the nicest way possible) if you think that it's worth "saving" a relationship with somebody like that. I doubt he'll ever change if he lies about lots of things. You're better off with out him, however difficult you may find it to break it off. And in my book, even if you personally don't mind it, the drug-taking is bad enough on its own, with or without the lies. If a person has a desire to indulge in risky - and illegal - behaviour like that, then that tells you something about their personality that you shouldn't ignore. I know you probably think you're being open-minded and that open-mindedness is a good thing, but in some cases it isn't, as I have learned to my cost.

Not that it's necessarily important, but: have the two of you never thought about living together? And if not, why not?

Reply 37

Caze

The_resurrection

You missed his point. Why does he feel the need to lie to you? Because you are a naive, uppity bitch most probably. Stop being so controlling.

Well. Let's at least give her that credit about her accepting that he can do some soft drugs.

I'd would at least say lying is worse than those drugs. sort of. depends.

Reply 38

Anonymous #3

rewind to this time a year or so ago and I could have written your post.

In my last relationship, my boyfriend did not know where to draw the line between having fun and doing drugs/drinking. I don't particularly like any drugs but there are few that I'm extremely anti and he continously lied about taking them. Even after I had twice gotten extremely upset and threatened to break up, he still did it thinking it wouldn't matter because I wouldn't find out. Moving in with him was the worst decision I ever made and I realised things were much worse, to the point where I actually felt I was going insane, seriously losing my mind. Sitting and trying to just have a decent conversation while he was doped up to high heaven (me being on my gap year in his country, Australia) was the most frightening experience ever. All this at 20? No thanks.

Please get out of there. You are affected enough to write this post so you shouldn't put yourself through it.

Reply 39

n00

14

Anonymous

I have got inspiration from the 'do you tell your partner everything' thread.

What would you guys do if you and your partner had been together for 3 years, long distance, and you found out they had been lying for months about doing drugs?

He swore on his life he hadnt done them - im not really against drugs but i would never personally take them. I was more bummed about the fact he could lie to my face about it, not the actual drug taking. There are other things he has lied to me about but the drugs are the main issue.

So yeah, would you forgive your partner? Im finding it pretty hard to but i dont want to throw my relationship away because of it.

I'm guessing he probably lied because he was worried you might be like one of these morons.

tinktinktinkerbell

no i wouldnt forgive him, i refuse to have anyone in my life who does illegal drugs and if he lied about it, it would be a bigger kick in the teeth

i dont like druggies and i dont like liars

katierattray

If a boyfriend took drug I would dump him, Even if he lied or not.

Understandable really given the strange ideas alot of people seem to have about drugs

Boyfriend lied about drugs

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