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Don't want to go back :(
I started at Lancaster this year so have just done one term and I reeeeeally do not want to go back after christmas 
The main reason is that four out of five of my flatmates are international and I feel really excluded as they just talk in their own languages all the time. People keep telling me to get out and about to meet people but i'm just a naturally shy person and find it hard, and I was relying on flatmates to initially make friends. Last term my only friend in the flat went home every weekend and so I would go most weekends without seeing anyone in the flat and would end up feeling lonely and depressed.
I really wanted to go to enjoy and make the best of my time at uni but so far i'm finding it lonely and difficult
Just wandered if anyone has been in the same situation or if it is too late to maybe move accomodation?
I just don't know what to do.
The main reason is that four out of five of my flatmates are international and I feel really excluded as they just talk in their own languages all the time. People keep telling me to get out and about to meet people but i'm just a naturally shy person and find it hard, and I was relying on flatmates to initially make friends. Last term my only friend in the flat went home every weekend and so I would go most weekends without seeing anyone in the flat and would end up feeling lonely and depressed.
I really wanted to go to enjoy and make the best of my time at uni but so far i'm finding it lonely and difficult
Just wandered if anyone has been in the same situation or if it is too late to maybe move accomodation?
I just don't know what to do.
piano2550
I started at Lancaster this year so have just done one term and I reeeeeally do not want to go back after christmas
The main reason is that four out of five of my flatmates are international and I feel really excluded as they just talk in their own languages all the time. People keep telling me to get out and about to meet people but i'm just a naturally shy person and find it hard, and I was relying on flatmates to initially make friends. Last term my only friend in the flat went home every weekend and so I would go most weekends without seeing anyone in the flat and would end up feeling lonely and depressed.
I really wanted to go to enjoy and make the best of my time at uni but so far i'm finding it lonely and difficult
Just wandered if anyone has been in the same situation or if it is too late to maybe move accomodation? I just don't know what to do.
The main reason is that four out of five of my flatmates are international and I feel really excluded as they just talk in their own languages all the time. People keep telling me to get out and about to meet people but i'm just a naturally shy person and find it hard, and I was relying on flatmates to initially make friends. Last term my only friend in the flat went home every weekend and so I would go most weekends without seeing anyone in the flat and would end up feeling lonely and depressed.
I really wanted to go to enjoy and make the best of my time at uni but so far i'm finding it lonely and difficult
Just wandered if anyone has been in the same situation or if it is too late to maybe move accomodation?
I just don't know what to do.I'd say move accommodation for sure, there's no point staying in a flat where you don't get along with the people.
You might have been dealt a pile o' 
, but if you change the way you look at it, it wont seem that way. If you're on your own, listen to some music and get some work done. Stick it out and there'll be plenty of opportunities (down the line) for you to interact with other people ie. make friends. After you take that step to make friends at some event or outing with your current friend, you hardly have to try from there on. The question is whether you can be bothered to take the first step? Stop assuming and just do it, it's for your own good after all.
, but if you change the way you look at it, it wont seem that way. If you're on your own, listen to some music and get some work done. Stick it out and there'll be plenty of opportunities (down the line) for you to interact with other people ie. make friends. After you take that step to make friends at some event or outing with your current friend, you hardly have to try from there on. The question is whether you can be bothered to take the first step? Stop assuming and just do it, it's for your own good after all.
you should try moving, and then make new friends with your new flat mates,
Which then might lead to you going out with them
Which then might lead to you going out with them
Hello fellow Lancasterian. 
Yeah, I think you should move somewhere else. Tbh it's really weird that they put 4 international students from the same country with just 2 Brits (I guess you're British) together in the same flat.
Also, try talking to your coursemates. In a seminar or a lecture just say hi to the person sitting next to you etc. But definitely move out, you'll get new flatmates and you'll be also able to meet their mates so you'll make more friends. I'm quite shy myself as well and haven't made LOADS of friends in the first term but I'm already back in Lancs and looking forward to the next term. Hoping to meet a lot of nice people in the next few months.
Yeah, I think you should move somewhere else. Tbh it's really weird that they put 4 international students from the same country with just 2 Brits (I guess you're British) together in the same flat.Also, try talking to your coursemates. In a seminar or a lecture just say hi to the person sitting next to you etc. But definitely move out, you'll get new flatmates and you'll be also able to meet their mates so you'll make more friends. I'm quite shy myself as well and haven't made LOADS of friends in the first term but I'm already back in Lancs and looking forward to the next term. Hoping to meet a lot of nice people in the next few months.
I agree with what ppl are sayin. get onto a waiting list and man it out till you move out. Don't be worried about people having bonded if you get moved to another place. It would be quite exciting for them to be living with someone new, try thinking about it that way.
where are your housemates from? I live with quite a few french students and i find that a good conversation starter is usually one of the very few french phrases i know. after that a few questions about france (every int.stdnt loves when you show interest in their countries - and they love talking about them) then I quickly change the conversation onto something more level.. (t.v , music, likes etc..) We don't have to talk for hours, a short convo lightens the atmosphere and it's easier to sit and watch t.v in a comfortable silence . When they start speaking to each other in their langauge, I leave them to it.
Taking into account that I am a really shy kind of person too, I think im doing alright. I am also the only black person in a house of 10 so you can imagine how many more pairs of balls I had to collect..
haha, sorry for the novel, but good luck 2nd term!!
where are your housemates from? I live with quite a few french students and i find that a good conversation starter is usually one of the very few french phrases i know. after that a few questions about france (every int.stdnt loves when you show interest in their countries - and they love talking about them) then I quickly change the conversation onto something more level.. (t.v , music, likes etc..) We don't have to talk for hours, a short convo lightens the atmosphere and it's easier to sit and watch t.v in a comfortable silence . When they start speaking to each other in their langauge, I leave them to it.
Taking into account that I am a really shy kind of person too, I think im doing alright.
I am also the only black person in a house of 10 so you can imagine how many more pairs of balls I had to collect.. haha, sorry for the novel, but good luck 2nd term!!
RabbitCFH
Also, try talking to your coursemates. In a seminar or a lecture just say hi to the person sitting next to you etc.
Also, try talking to your coursemates. In a seminar or a lecture just say hi to the person sitting next to you etc.
I agree, you don't have to have millions of friends, just a handful (3 o 4 gd un's) but if you're friendly with everyone, the outing and party invites pile up..soon, you'll only need your house/flat just for the bed..lol.
I don’t want term to start either, largely because the workload is ridiculous, and because I’m finding my subject more of a chore than an enjoyment.
I’m sorry you’re finding it difficult, if it’s any consolation to you, my first year was pretty crappy as well; I only ever got on with one person on the corridor. I think people, before going to university, have this grand ideal of the university ‘experience’ where they expect everyone to become social butterflies and for their course to forever fascinate to them. I may have been naive, but I certainly believed this. In truth there is no set experience, some people get lucky and are grouped with flatmates who are lovely, others are not, it’s the pick of the draw, some are simply luckier than others.
I know it sounds clichéd but it can and will get better. I’m not dismissing first years as immature, and I don’t mean to patronise anyone, but throughout your time at uni, you and the people around you will continue to mature. In your first year, at least I found, you are confronted by big faceless lectures, in which it’s quite difficult to actually get to know anyone beyond a superficial level. Although I may be getting frustrated with academia, I’ve found my third year the most rewarding year yet. Lectures and seminars (specifically if you do a specialist subject module) are more intimate and friendly, you not only get to know your fellow students well, but your lecturers no longer become the super-human, detached figures they were before. Plus, without meaning to patronise again, people grow up and don’t necessarily feel the need to claw onto the cliques they developed in their first years.
As others have said, you could try and see if you can move into different accommodation, again, who you get will be down to luck, but if it’s a gamble that you feel is worth taking, take it! Also, you could ask to look around accommodation before moving, get to meet the people you may be living with before you actually do.
If you decide to stay where you are, don’t be afraid to talk to the international students. Most of the time they’ll want to talk to you but feel too awkward about doing so, or they may even feel as though they’re intruding on your work or imposing themselves on you. Just try to make small talk at first, or ask them about their courses, who knows, they may be really nice.
Good luck to you!
I’m sorry you’re finding it difficult, if it’s any consolation to you, my first year was pretty crappy as well; I only ever got on with one person on the corridor. I think people, before going to university, have this grand ideal of the university ‘experience’ where they expect everyone to become social butterflies and for their course to forever fascinate to them. I may have been naive, but I certainly believed this. In truth there is no set experience, some people get lucky and are grouped with flatmates who are lovely, others are not, it’s the pick of the draw, some are simply luckier than others.
I know it sounds clichéd but it can and will get better. I’m not dismissing first years as immature, and I don’t mean to patronise anyone, but throughout your time at uni, you and the people around you will continue to mature. In your first year, at least I found, you are confronted by big faceless lectures, in which it’s quite difficult to actually get to know anyone beyond a superficial level. Although I may be getting frustrated with academia, I’ve found my third year the most rewarding year yet. Lectures and seminars (specifically if you do a specialist subject module) are more intimate and friendly, you not only get to know your fellow students well, but your lecturers no longer become the super-human, detached figures they were before. Plus, without meaning to patronise again, people grow up and don’t necessarily feel the need to claw onto the cliques they developed in their first years.
As others have said, you could try and see if you can move into different accommodation, again, who you get will be down to luck, but if it’s a gamble that you feel is worth taking, take it! Also, you could ask to look around accommodation before moving, get to meet the people you may be living with before you actually do.
If you decide to stay where you are, don’t be afraid to talk to the international students. Most of the time they’ll want to talk to you but feel too awkward about doing so, or they may even feel as though they’re intruding on your work or imposing themselves on you. Just try to make small talk at first, or ask them about their courses, who knows, they may be really nice.
Good luck to you!
I really hope things get better for you soon, and believe me, they could do. I was at Lancs and found my first term quite hard socially. It wasn't until the third term that I started to make good friends. Second year was better and by the end of 3rd year I didn't want to leave.
I notice you have not mentioned any societies. If you haven't joined any, I would really recommend trying out one or two if anything interests you. I made some great friends at both socs I joined.
I notice you have not mentioned any societies. If you haven't joined any, I would really recommend trying out one or two if anything interests you. I made some great friends at both socs I joined.
Hey, I feel exactly the same way.
Ive been there since september and found it hard to make friends and hated my flatmates as they were really rude and inconsiderate. So i went to my residence offer, and she has guven me a new room. I move in tomorrow. Next to Teao the cat on here actually! Societies are a great way to make friends. What kind of thing are you interested in?
What are you studying?
I hope you decide to try and stick at it, i think it will be worth it.
Ponpon
Ive been there since september and found it hard to make friends and hated my flatmates as they were really rude and inconsiderate. So i went to my residence offer, and she has guven me a new room. I move in tomorrow. Next to Teao the cat on here actually! Societies are a great way to make friends. What kind of thing are you interested in?
What are you studying?
I hope you decide to try and stick at it, i think it will be worth it.
Ponpon
piano2550
Hiya,
I have joined a couple of socities (ballroom dancing and hiking) and the only friends i've made are through these. I'm studying biology btw
I've emailed my residence officers about the situation so i'll see what they say.
I have joined a couple of socities (ballroom dancing and hiking) and the only friends i've made are through these. I'm studying biology btw
I've emailed my residence officers about the situation so i'll see what they say.
Which college are you in btw?
i kinda know how everyone feels. its wierd, i've made friends (no one really close but lots of people i can talk to) and have a gf, so i'm normally happy whilst at uni, its just after being home for a month i'm worried i'm gonna be crying my eyes out again like in freshers (missing my dog mostly). think i'm still adjusting to not having one set place where i live anymore tbh! it would be nice to get some close friends though, i get along ok with people but no one who i would feel comfortable discussing anything particularly personal with. hmmm, sorry, just a bit of a rant before i get back really!
Hey listen last year I was in a flat where i didnt really connect with anyone that well. I found it really hard because i kept thinking i have these close friends at home why am i not connecting with people at lancaster as easily. The way i got round this situation was to firstly go up and downstairs in my building and talk to those in other flats. Its not too late to do this at any point! Just go up and introduce yourself. keep in contact with them and try spending time with them. Also i found that if you do this you end up finding friends who you could live with in the 2nd yr. It is worht sticking it out, first yr wasnt the easiest for me but i stuck with it and now i love where i am and what i am doing! Apply to change accomadation because it must be horribe with many interntaional students! a friend of mine changed accomodation and was very happy with where she was. Specifically ask when changing flats that you would like to be put with other freshers as it means the bond may be easier. Do you have any hobbies that you enjoy? maybe enquire after the societies or clubs and see what is available.
Hope this helps!
x
Hope this helps!
x
The only advice I could give you is don't go for a studio room. I'm in a double studio with my girlfriend, which is fine, however, I've not spoken to anyone on my hall. I've become friends with people on my course because I'm doing a different type of course to most people where we all sit in a room together all day for 2 days learning. Win, honest.
Anyway, hope things get better. Don't let the idea of a GREAT social life in university bring you down. It's a degree you come for.
Anyway, hope things get better. Don't let the idea of a GREAT social life in university bring you down. It's a degree you come for.
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