Knowing If You're Gay

Hello i need some advice,

For the past 4 years i've believed myself to be gay and i have had 2 relationships with guys and one with a girl but last night (although quite drunk) i started to doubt whether i am.

I'm 18 now and have just started uni so i don't know what has triggered this off. Am i being weird that i'm 18 and still undecided? And i know i was drunk but i feel the same was as last night this morning which can't be right can it?

I would feel awful and embarrased telling my parents that i'm not afterall the fuss that was made about it. i really don't know about this one!

Thanks In Advanced Mat

Reply 1

danni_bella

17

Absolutional

Hello i need some advice,

For the past 4 years i've believed myself to be gay and i have had 2 relationships with guys and one with a girl but last night (although quite drunk) i started to doubt whether i am.

I'm 18 now and have just started uni so i don't know what has triggered this off. Am i being weird that i'm 18 and still undecided? And i know i was drunk but i feel the same was as last night this morning which can't be right can it?

Thanks In Advanced Mat

Aww you! *hugs Absolutional* :hugs:

One of my friends from high school recently came out, and he's much happier now.

He's doing great, studying law at uni. Are there certain clubs you could join that would have similar people to yourself as members? There's one at our uni, you can even be straight to join. :biggrin:

Honourary members, of course :wink:

Hope things work out! :smile:

DB_x

Reply 2

thebucketwoman

10

Absolutional

Hello i need some advice,

For the past 4 years i've believed myself to be gay and i have had 2 relationships with guys and one with a girl but last night (although quite drunk) i started to doubt whether i am.

I'm 18 now and have just started uni so i don't know what has triggered this off. Am i being weird that i'm 18 and still undecided? And i know i was drunk but i feel the same was as last night this morning which can't be right can it?

I would feel awful and embarrased telling my parents that i'm not afterall the fuss that was made about it. i really don't know about this one!

Thanks In Advanced Mat

What makes you doubt it, Are you attracted to girls?

Maybe you're bisexual, that's completely valid?
--------------

Akhoza

hope that helps :smile:

I doubt it somehow... :rolleyes:

Reply 3

RobbieC

15

Things are not black and white where sexuality is concerned... There is definite room for the grey, and no need to rationalise yourself to anyone else. Do what you feel, as you feel it - and don't regret being who you are.
Robbie.x

Reply 4

Lush Law

15

Having been through this myself I know exactly how you are feeling :hugs:

I'm 18 and I don't doubt my sexuality anymore, but I know one guy back home that does. Try not to let it get to you, take things easily and see how things work out. If you're having doubts at age 18, but you still like men, you could be bisexual or a have a slight hetrosexual leaning.

Reply 5

Philadelphia

Absolutional

Hello i need some advice,

For the past 4 years i've believed myself to be gay and i have had 2 relationships with guys and one with a girl but last night (although quite drunk) i started to doubt whether i am.

I'm 18 now and have just started uni so i don't know what has triggered this off. Am i being weird that i'm 18 and still undecided? And i know i was drunk but i feel the same was as last night this morning which can't be right can it?

I would feel awful and embarrased telling my parents that i'm not afterall the fuss that was made about it. i really don't know about this one!

Thanks In Advanced Mat

Don't worry about it you don't need to have to attach a label by a certain age you are who you are if you like girls then fine if you like boys then fine and both is great!
I have been in the same bed with a boy whos my best friend and stroked eachothers arms. Don't worry about being gay or straight or both. i know guys that like male and female and have been out with both.
Life is about meeting the right partner for you whatever sex they are.
Hope i have helped :smile:

Reply 6

Akhoza

philip2004

Don't worry about it you don't need to have to attach a label by a certain age you are who you are if you like girls then fine if you like boys then fine and both is great!
I have been in the same bed with a boy whos my best friend and stroked eachothers arms. Don't worry about being gay or straight or both. i know guys that like male and female and have been out with both.
Life is about meeting the right partner for you whatever sex they are.
Hope i have helped :smile:

Thats sik i wud neva touch my best friends arm in bed di u mean he woz ur boyfriend. PS- Im straight

Reply 7

Philadelphia

Akhoza

Thats sik i wud neva touch my best friends arm in bed di u mean he woz ur boyfriend. PS- Im straight

WE were both close so we just did it and we were in high school then, i wouldnt do it now as im not gay.
But it doesn't matter if your gay or like both sexes bring gay isn't anything to be ashamed of.

Reply 8

Segat1

16

I think you're not alone in those feelings, lots of people question thier sexuality throughout thier teens and into their twenties - and you have to remember that despite what *some* people think, you are not being bad or whatever - as you've just started uni this is a time where you can explore this issue - perhaps you are gay perhaps you are bi - take your time to find out for yourself, don't be rushed and you will be ok.
:smile:

Reply 9

Kondar

1

Your still young, so just go with the flow and try not to compartmentalise yourself just yet. If you like a girl then go for it, if you like a guy do the same. Eventually youll figure out what you want.
Good luck :smile:

Reply 10

Beekeeper

13

Don't bother trying to categorising yourself, it's not a nice feeling.

You're probably bisexual, but if you like this girl then it doesn't really matter does it?

Reply 11

The-Lennon

1

the fact that youve had relationships with men...... means you are not straight. enough said

Reply 12

Opalfire

1

^^^ Thats so not true. Alot of gay men, usually have hetero relationships in their young lives and only realise they are gay later on in life...yet just because they've had hetero relationships doesnt mean they're straight does it? Try not to make such huge assumptions, especially about sexuality which is fluid and ppl can change if they want. I think you should just go with it, if you meet a girl who you like then so be it, if you meet a guy then so be it too but try not to think of yourself as this or that. Hope thats helps x

Reply 13

aleathiel

16

i know how u feel.. kinda

Im out as a lesbian but i think im actually bi heh gonna be fun telling my parents and getting the usual "we told you so" cos they didnt think i was fully gay lol

Reply 14

Lidka

13

Like a lot of people here have said, there is no black and white when it comes to sexuality. I know a 'lesbian' who's just come out of a 4 year relationship with a man, and she's over 40! Age doesn't necessarily mean you'll be able to say for definite that 'I'm gay/bi/hetero', and some people never confirm their sexuality - they just go with the flow. :smile:

Don't put pressure on yourself to 'decide' what you are, and don't feel bad about explaining to your sexuality to your parents, either. Enjoy your freedom to choose! :wink:

Reply 15

girl_in_keele

Hey its perfectly OK to be Bi. Only you know yourself, and you know what turns you on. Just go with the flow and you'll be more decided once you're comfortable with yourself, be strong - don't be afraid or worried about what people will say or think. :smile:

Reply 16

Evenstar

13

I think it sucks that people feel they have to fit into a particular category. I myself have always been into men, but I have felt attracted to the odd woman along the way. I believe that you fall for/are attracted to a person and not a gender.
But I know there are a lot of people out there who like things to be black and white!

Reply 17

Max Power

You don't have to define yourself as either gay or straight.

You seem confused. There is no pressure for you to decide anything now.

Enjoy being bisexual. The great thing about that is that regardless of sex, if you like someone you can do something about it.

In time and with experience you will draw more towards a particular sex, or some special person will make ur mind up for you.

Reply 18

Mata

16

Mmm. You don't have to be anything, if you don't feel so inclined. You can just be a person who loves people for being people, rather than for being a gender.

Maybe at this stage in life, you could just do a bit of experimentation. Don't pressurise yourself to try and make a decision, or to make that decision to please other people. I honestly don't believe that sexuality should be an issue, and for some people it can be quite a fluid thing, which is absolutely fine.

My limited advice would be to listen to your gut and your heart (whichever does the governing for you, I guess) and not to feel guilty about your decisions when it comes to who you have relationships with. Just treat people with respect and love, and what you are doing won't be wrong.

Reply 19

MNBStyle

9

Absolutional

Hello i need some advice,

For the past 4 years i've believed myself to be gay and i have had 2 relationships with guys and one with a girl but last night (although quite drunk) i started to doubt whether i am.

I'm 18 now and have just started uni so i don't know what has triggered this off. Am i being weird that i'm 18 and still undecided? And i know i was drunk but i feel the same was as last night this morning which can't be right can it?

I would feel awful and embarrased telling my parents that i'm not afterall the fuss that was made about it. i really don't know about this one!

Thanks In Advanced Mat

Its natural for you to become unsure of your sexuallity as you grow up, dont pressure yourself to decide what sexuallity you are, it will come naturally

Knowing If You're Gay

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