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Would you get offended?

I was out with my boyfriend last night (anniversary how wonderful hehe..) and well to cut a long story short, I asked him if he would get tested for STD's. We havent started actually having sex yet so I wanted to ask before we did.

He didnt get offended that I asked him (so he said) but was very 'bemused'.. He said that he'd got checked out before his last girlfriend (who was a virgin so wouldnt have anything) so he's clean, but was more bemused at the fact that I thought he would ever put me at risk of STD's.. Which is kind of sweet I guess.

The thing is, I know he wouldnt put me at risk but I just wanted to make sure and have peace of mind. Should I just not have asked and trusted him?

So I was also wondering, would you get offended if your other half asked you to get checked for STD's before the relationship moved to sexual level?

Reply 1

Oddity

1

I think its absoluteley normal that you asked him to get checked. There is nothing you should be ashamed of. Im sure it might have cought him 'off guard' since girls don't usually ask...even though i think we should.
If he really likes you he will get checked and he will understand uour request. Don't worry.
Let me know how it goes.

Reply 2

hugatree

11

Nah. I only would if I told him I'd never had anyone else so was 'clean' or a complete virgin, and he'd ask me then. That would mean he doesn't trust me and I think we'd have a problem then.

Reply 3

FoodBuff

Obviously no. The answer is explicit.

Reply 4

If you have never had sex, does that mean you cant possibly have an STD's?

Reply 5

Anonymous

I was out with my boyfriend last night (anniversary how wonderful hehe..) and well to cut a long story short, I asked him if he would get tested for STD's. We havent started actually having sex yet so I wanted to ask before we did.

He didnt get offended that I asked him (so he said) but was very 'bemused'.. He said that he'd got checked out before his last girlfriend (who was a virgin so wouldnt have anything) so he's clean, but was more bemused at the fact that I thought he would ever put me at risk of STD's.. Which is kind of sweet I guess.

The thing is, I know he wouldnt put me at risk but I just wanted to make sure and have peace of mind. Should I just not have asked and trusted him?

So I was also wondering, would you get offended if your other half asked you to get checked for STD's before the relationship moved to sexual level?

Wow... you've waited an entire year before you'll consider sleeping with him and then asked him to get an std check?

my personal opinion is, that If was willing to wait a year for you, I'd doubt that he'd have anything anyway, but he should understand and I doubt he'd be offended as sex is obviously a big thing to yourself and he should know that by now

Reply 6

hugatree

11

Anonymous

If you have never had sex, does that mean you cant possibly have an STD's?

You can get STDs from oral, too.

Reply 7

hugatree

You can get STDs from oral, too.

Ok, well i guess that makes sense if your giving oral, what about receiving?

Reply 8

Anonymous

Wow... you've waited an entire year before you'll consider sleeping with him and then asked him to get an std check?

my personal opinion is, that If was willing to wait a year for you, I'd doubt that he'd have anything anyway, but he should understand and I doubt he'd be offended as sex is obviously a big thing to yourself and he should know that by now

Oh it wasnt a one year anniversary, just 3 months! But yeah I dont think he was actually offended.. like he said just confused that I thought he wouldnt be careful for me.

Reply 9

ApeXaviour

7

Anonymous

So I was also wondering, would you get offended if your other half asked you to get checked for STD's before the relationship moved to sexual level?

No.. but only if she expected to get tested with me, whether she was virgin or no.

Reply 10

Introspecktive..

Not really.... but it might depend on the tone in which you said it.

Reply 11

icedsilhouette

I wouldn't ask if we were planning to use condoms, rather than using the pill and no condoms... It's never been an issue for me though, I've only been with guys that haven't been with anyone else, and only one of those has been just using pill and no condoms.

I think it's good to ask anyway... Peace of mind and all that... Plus, it's a very mature thing to do... I weirdly find it quite sweet *needs her head testing*

Reply 12

Catski

Maybe to ease his mind you could suggest getting tested at the same time?
I certainly wouldn't be offended but I'd expect my other half to be tested him/herself if they wanted me to be.

Reply 13

Catski

Maybe to ease his mind you could suggest getting tested at the same time?
I certainly wouldn't be offended but I'd expect my other half to be tested him/herself if they wanted me to be.

I am a virgin though I forgot to mention so it wouldnt have been necessary but if I wasnt then I would definately have suggested that.

Reply 14

Catski

Anonymous

I am a virgin though I forgot to mention so it wouldnt have been necessary but if I wasnt then I would definately have suggested that.

Ha, I suppose I'll let you off then. But you could have matching certificates of health to hang above your bed! :P

Reply 15

Zoecb

11

I wouldn't be offended. I would be embarassed to ask though, in case I offended them, I really need to get rid of that attitude. I should ask. Anyway, not a problem I need to worry about just yet!

Reply 16

It's always confused me this. It's known that you can't have an STD if you're a virgin. How can people have an std in the first place as everyone is a virgin at some point. If std's can only be transferred during sex, how did they originate in the first place.

also, if someone does have an std after testing, does this mean that u should never have sex with them.

Ta

Reply 17

pggirl

No I Wouldnt. Good you asked, cant be too careful! more power to you!

Reply 18

fairycakes

12

nope i wouldn't, it's very responsible!!
xxxx

Reply 19

blissy

15

Anonymous

The thing is, I know he wouldnt put me at risk but I just wanted to make sure and have peace of mind.

I wouldn't/haven't been offended. Even though his ex-gf was a virgin when they met, you never know cause she could have cheated on him and passed something on.

Just one point about this: often they give you the 'results' by only ringing to tell you if you actually have something. Therefore, if you've heard nothing from the hospital then you're clear. If this is the case, you'd have to trust him because he might not get a sheet of paper stamped by the hospital with "clear" written on it.

Would you get offended?

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