I have a toxic mentality of needing to be better than everyone else in the room

the most acute example of this is how I can't stand not knowing something that my younger siblings know, e.g. if a word comes up in conversation w them and I didn't know it I get so, so, so so so annoyed even though I would never show it. Or if I suggest something and they talk back to me. I don't think this is normal, but I don't know what I can do about it. Is this like a condition? No one knows I think like this bc I'm unfortunately good at acting chill and friendly so relatives and neighbours alike praise me for being the perfect sister when I'm far from.

the most acute example of this is how I can't stand not knowing something that my younger siblings know, e.g. if a word comes up in conversation w them and I didn't know it I get so, so, so so so annoyed even though I would never show it. Or if I suggest something and they talk back to me. I don't think this is normal, but I don't know what I can do about it. Is this like a condition? No one knows I think like this bc I'm unfortunately good at acting chill and friendly so relatives and neighbours alike praise me for being the perfect sister when I'm far from.

Also can i add that i disagree with @Meheraj on one point. I think you shouldn't compete with yourself like that since it may tired yourself mentally although he said or she said it would bring you peace it definitely won't! Reason being is then you are going to try and compete with yourself and your siblings which makes it too much for your head and lead to stress. Trust me if you can but just remember being better than you were yesterday like a few said and remember ppl r gonna be better than you and that life!
BUT PLEASE DO NOT COMPETE WITH YOURSELF! IT WOULD MAKE YOU FEEL IMMENSE FEELINGS OF INSECURITIES!

Sorry to say but I ain't quite sure whether you were able to catch my stance or not on the term 'compete'. I used it to refer to almost the same thing you said as well as another individual. You guys said 'to be better than yesterday'. Tell me what does it stand for. What I understand by those phrasal words is if you desire to do better than yesterday, you would definitely need to have a motivated mind frame or need to put more effort that can assist you to compete with tricky cases and overcome them. Also, I reckon as long as someone doesn't need to stress on what others are doing and can mind their own business properly, they won't be pressed mentally too much. That means they'll have some sort of peace if not fully.

Please raise questions before throwing a comment just in case you fail to comprehend a context. Otherwise, it would be difficult to comprehend others' thoughts. Don't know if this makes clearer now.

God! Didn't mean to offend your heart. I understood very clearly on what you had to say. It is just my opinion, I don't know if you would know but I can disagree with whoever I want. And I disagreed with you.

BUT I never said anything about to be better than yesterday. I said some people are going to be better than you and you will be better than others. so I don't know where you got that from. If you comprehended what I said you probably would have seen that too. so I think you should practice what you preach.

Also i would like to mention, it makes VERY sense. 🙂 Thank you for explaining your point, I applaud you!!!

No, you didn't offend my heart. LMAO. Sorry again. I neither wanted to make you feel offended. I just felt you tried to twist my words a bit, which I didn't like much. So, I had to make a counterattack, you know. 😁

Well, I don't think I tried to be better than someone through my previous comment.

My pleasure! 😊

By the way, I don't know why I'm getting this vibe that I know you. Have we ever crossed our paths somewhere? 🤔

Well good to know. It is fine. You basically got offended. Don't worry, you are allowed to be offended. But I know you had to prove your point.

Yh I don't know what you by this. "Well, I don't think I tried to be better than someone through my previous comment" but I never said anything about you being better. But anyways I do not care.

Lol ok. 🤣🤣

Nope. I do not know you. I don't know who you think I am but I am curious to know who you think i am. But yeah no. Maybe on here like on these forums stuff I don't know but yeah I don't know you. I don't keep track on people that are irrelevant in this way. No offence again. I'm just trying to be honest. So yeah. Good to know you. But I don't know you before this. I don't think.

Maybe your way of explaining things wasn't the best or maybe mine to yours. No offence though.

I don't reckon you were able to relate to something you said. Anyway, forget it.

Yeah, maybe you don't know me. There was someone who used to behave like that. Don't think they're active here anymore. Since you're not that individual, I don't believe it would be right to name them at the moment.

My bad! 🤦🏻I don't know I just had to get it out of my chest. That's why I asked whether we crossed paths previously because there were some similarities.

Oh lordy lord, some of the comments on here! Anyway, I wonder if other animals have the same problems - do snails feel a need to be better than other snails? Or perhaps we're more like ants, fighting each other to death. Would it help to think more like a butterfly, perhaps? Here today, gone tomorrow? Life is short.

How does a butterfly feel? Does it 'think'? Is there a theory of mind?

A little facetious, but you understand my point.

the most acute example of this is how I can't stand not knowing something that my younger siblings know, e.g. if a word comes up in conversation w them and I didn't know it I get so, so, so so so annoyed even though I would never show it. Or if I suggest something and they talk back to me. I don't think this is normal, but I don't know what I can do about it. Is this like a condition? No one knows I think like this bc I'm unfortunately good at acting chill and friendly so relatives and neighbours alike praise me for being the perfect sister when I'm far from.