"Once you leave home, you can't move back"

CC2010

So, what does everything think about this statement? Do you agree, or disagree?

I'm heading into my 2nd year at uni in September. I lived in halls for my first year. I've been home for 2 months, and leave to go back to uni in another 3 weeks (*yay*)

How was everyone found it at home?

I've absolutely hated it, which is saying something considering how much I love being at home, normally. I've clashed like you wouldn't believe with my mum and sister. We argue non-stop about petty things. I struggled to go back into my "parents rules" however I've tried so hard. I've not been made to feel welcome at home which is a major reason as to why I am dying to go back. As my grandparents are over from back home, they've taken my bedroom so I have to crash on the floor in my older sister's room. I'm living out of suitcases and boxes. My sister never fails to remind me that I've "left home" so my opinion no longer counts. My mum said it to me ONCE, and I was absolutely gob smacked.

But, I was just wondering if I'm the only person who feels like they can't move home after leaving, and just your general opinoins.

Reply 1

DiscoPirate

When I went to uni three years ago I intended never to move back home. I didn't dislike living at home it's just hard going from having complete freedom during term time to some restrictions over the summer. The Summer's I spent either travelling or visiting friends when I wasn't working.

I've ended up getting a decent job out of uni, but financially I can't leave home yet because of money, and the jobs only a 40 minute drive away, so it doesn't make sense for me to spend the majority of my salary on living that bit closer.

I think a lot of people envisage never moving back home after uni but financially it's usually the only option. :smile:

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 2

SwingOnTheSpiral88

Yeah I know what you mean. I can't be at home for more than a few weeks before my mam and brother start irritating me, but I was never like that before I left home for uni. That's probably a good thing really, it's better to be out there on your own rather than being content to be at home and mooching off your family.

Reply 3

Picnic1

When you leave home, particularly to another part of the country, you can pick up new sayings, ideas, even a new accent. To your family stuck in the same place they might feel that you've been on your little adventure. They might not begrudge you it but they might also think that it would be unfair to treat you as if you'd always stayed 'loyal' to their home by staying there.
In a way, they are doing you a favour because they are making it easier for you to remain independent (sounds like getting your own place straight after university would be a good idea) in terms of where you live and they might subconsciously realise that they are doing that. They'll always be your family and if you show them that you can pass a course without them being there and that you can survive outside of university without them then they will respect you more in the long run but, until then, they'll have their doubts.

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 4

PinkMobilePhone

Volunteer Team

hmm I dunno....if my kids moved out I'd never begrudge them a roof over their head if they wanted to move back, but at the same time I wouldn't expect them to move back.
I never moved back in with my mam after I moved out. The idea never would have occurred to me, it's just not something I could do. I'd feel like I was a kid again, which I'm very definitely not.

Reply 5

Liv1204

I think more and more people do move back home to live with their parents after university now, or just live with parents for longer in general. It's so expensive to buy (or even rent) a flat or house at the moment, especially in some areas, that a lot of people just can't afford to do it for longer.

It is harder to live at home after being at university for a while though. Just making the adaptation from living alone/with friends and being able to do what you like and when you like, eat what you want, go out when you want and not have to 'justify' yourself or have somebody checking up on you, to going home and living under different rules again. You get used to the independence I guess.

I actually moved back home in my final year of university and I imagine I'll live at home for a long time, but because my mum is ill I suppose the circumstances are very very different. My whole family are very close though, and my parents have always liked it when all of us are home together, so I'm very lucky. But it is strange at first still making the change back home again.

Reply 6

kat91s

I'm going into my third year of uni now, and both summers of uni so far, I've managed to avoid moving home by staying with boyfriends. I can stand a weekend, and that's it. I usually go home every couple of months, and I feel bad that my parents don't get to see a lot of me, but I get on with them so much better when I'm not in the same space.

Reply 7

DOA

I personally think when I leave home, I wouldnt want to come back with no intention of leaving eg it would be fine if your going back to uni in 3 weeks, your saving towards a house, your current home has been damaged and so on

Reply 8

ranbow99

Yeah im the same, I have a month left at home and I cant wait to go back to uni. The main thing is the freedom aspect and my parents not asking me questions/telling me what to do.

But I also miss being around friends all the time. I see my friends at home some days, but when im on my own just with my parents its SO boring! At uni you get used to living with your friends and always having someone to talk to/something to do.
I cant imagine living at home for a whole year again, but I guess if financial stuff gets in the way I might have to :frown:

Reply 9

CC2010

Thanks to everyone who responded!

I'm so glad that I am not the only person who feels like that. I'm also seriously considering saving up for my own place for whenever I complete my 3rd year, because I don't think that I can do it again!

Also, next summer I'm on placement, so my only concern is that it's past uni or up that way, and not near back home. But wow, if I knew it was going to be like this, I would have made prior plans!

Reply 10

Jake22

Well you haven't really moved out - you stayed in halls three quarters of the year (or whatever) expecting to be able to stay at your parents for at least all of summer.