(Original post by saachi)
Oh no. That's exactly what I felt like when I was going through the 'phase'. It wasn't a phase for me, but it's different for everyone, I suppose. I tried to make
myself like a boy who liked me. I even thought it worked for a while, before I saw the girl I was in love with again, and everything fell apart. That's when I realized just how hard I had been trying to make myself straight.
It started off like that for me. After the one girl I was in love with for about a year, for me no boy ever came close to her. I never felt anything that intense for any boy, and then it got even more frightening when I started feeling those things for girls. And I've liked girls ever since. I have the *ocassional* crush on a boy sometimes, but that's rare and not really what I feel for girls, if you get me.
If the thought of getting intimate with your boyfriend sickens you even a bit, then it sounds like you're really not into him romantically. You might not be gay, it could just be that you're not into him particularly. Remember you're 'normal' (who in the world is ever completely normal!) even if you're gay, straight, bi, etc, there's nothing to feel ashamed about. People may treat you better when they think you're straight because, most likely, they just haven't had time to get used to the idea of you being gay. They might not actually be homophobic. My mum was like that in the beginning, but now she's totally cool with it and treats me as well as ever.
Basically just take your time. From what you wrote it sounds like this boy is a lot more like a best friend than a boyfriend, and breaking it off with him could hurt him- but better sooner than later. Don't push yourself into liking guys because that could end up hurting both you and the potential guy. It's a difficult time, yes, but you'll get through it