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How do I meet girls when I have no social life? I've never had a relationship.

I am getting really fed up with being single all the time. I have had confidence issues since I was a teen and I'm just starting to get some confidence back, but I'm still frustrated that I am 22 years old and I still can't manage to meet girls because my social life is non-existent. On the rare occasion that I do go out, I get envious of other guys who are either in relationships or can meet girls easily because they have a decent social life, whereas I can't meet anyone at the moment.

I don't want to sound too pessimistic, but I can't see myself meeting any girls at the moment, because I just don't have the ideal group of mates to meet girls. Most of my mates are either engaged, married (at 22, I know), or they're in the same situation as me in terms of meeting girls. On top of all this, I'm useless at chatting up girls and I get extremely nervous because I am not used to it at all (lacking experience).

Also, I feel insecure because I don't have a stable job or a degree/qualifications and I still live at home (with my father). I wish I was a charmer and a good conversationalist so I could chat to girls with ease, but I am a nervous wreck when girls are concerned. I think the problem is, I sometimes feel that I have nothing to offer a girl and I'm embarrassed of my situation, therefore I avoid talking to girls because I am insecure of my situation/issues.

I don't like dating sites as I cannot take good photos. I am not unattractive at all, but I just look a lot different in photos than I do in real life, and lets be honest, on dating sites first impressions matter most, that means "photos". I don't know what's wrong with me, but I also seem to feel that people are better than me because (as mentioned in the above paragraph) I am not in a situation that I'm happy with, neither do I have a good education, whereas lots of people are going to University or have a degree (it seems like!).

A lot of you may say "well sort out your situation/issues first" but I can't just move out and find a stable job, as the economy is tough right now and I am unemployed at the moment and have been for almost 12 months! Without a degree or decent/relevant qualifications It feels like I'll never find a decent job. When I'm in a job, I'm hard working and enthusiastic, but at the moment I just have no motivation because I cannot find a job. And there is no point in me going to University because I DO NOT have any idea of what I want to do with my life/career, so it's pointless to go to Uni and waste money.

I am overweight too, which makes me feel fat and self conscious, I.e. makes me lack confidence when meeting girls. But I am trying to lose weight and it's coming slowly but surely. But apart from weight loss, how do I gain my confidence, meet people, get a good social life, and start meeting girls?

Reply 1

py0alb

step 1) get a social life
step 2) start worrying about girls

Reply 2

The Real Quaid

Original post by Anonymous

I don't like dating sites as I cannot take good photos. I am not unattractive at all, but I just look a lot different in photos than I do in real life, and lets be honest, on dating sites first impressions matter most, that means "photos".

Maybe the photograph is what you look like, but your eyes just see the face in the mirror differently

Reply 3

TheEnigmaUK

Like the others have said, I think you need to stop worrying about girls. Sure, having relationships is good, but you should start meeting more people, then gradually your social life will improve and you'll start forming social networks, and through them you will find it easier to meet girls through people you know. I am no expert, but I'm guessing that can definitely help! Honestly, no one is perfect and you should still (when you get the opportunity) go out and at least talk to girls to try build up your confidence when chatting to girls. It's not really a massive deal like everyone makes out, you just have to adjust your conversation skills more so than you would around your male mates lol.

good luck dude, just give it a go!

Reply 4

lustina

I think you should first start working on your social life & confidence & once you start feeling comfortable you can start looking for relationships with girls. Or another option is to look for girls who are in the same situation as you, who are a bit quiet.

Reply 5

CherryCherryBoomBoom

Wow, I could have written a lot of this post, since you sound so similar to me! I've got some confidence issues, my life situation sucks at the moment with having no job, uni or training, and I don't really have a social life either because my friends seem uninterested in me at the moment. Basically, the perfect formula for staying chronically single :frown:

. And I know how hard it is to take good photos since I am also quite unphotogenic, but if you keep practising you can eventually come out with something look pretty decent :smile:

I know how hard it is to fix these things, but you've just got to try, starting with some baby steps. For example, one thing I've decided I'm gonna do is try a pole dancing lesson next week, because I'm hoping it'll help up my confidence as well as the chance to make new friends. It's a women-only thing though so they'll all be female, but who knows, maybe one day some of them will start inviting me out and could introduce me to their male friends :teeth:

. So I say just try and get yourself into new situations to meet new people, such as hobby classes/clubs, volunteering, etc. I know it's easier said than done though, since I am horribly shy and insecure myself, but you'd just have to get over that since you'll never get anywhere otherwise! Good luck :smile: