The Trans*/Non-Cisgender Thread
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Original post by incipientT
How would you describe your gender and sexual identity?
Transwoman
What are your preferred pronouns?
not much bothered by pronouns. Currently people use "he".
Are you out to anyone in real life/offline?
My mother for a few days now.
Do you have any long-term plans with regards to surgery/hormones/similar?
Well, I'd like to transition fully, but still not sure how to go about it.
Currently working on changing my voice, since I don't think I have any chance of passing without it.
Transwoman
What are your preferred pronouns?
not much bothered by pronouns. Currently people use "he".
Are you out to anyone in real life/offline?
My mother for a few days now.
Do you have any long-term plans with regards to surgery/hormones/similar?
Well, I'd like to transition fully, but still not sure how to go about it.
Currently working on changing my voice, since I don't think I have any chance of passing without it.
:O another transwoman!
heya!
Good to hear that youve started to come out, and are on the road to becoming who you always should have been
as for your voice, see your GP as soon as possible! - getting treatment of the NHS takes a long time, so start things now - as things will then probably take another 6months or so, to really start..(can go into detail if you like)
As part of the treatment for trans peopel, the NHS will pay for you to go to vocal therapy though
+ if you have any questions, or just want a general chat with another transwoman, im always about
Been out for over a year now, and these days live life full time as myself
lily x
Original post by fallen_acorns
:O another transwoman!
We do seem to be a minority here!
Original post by fallen_acorns
(can go into detail if you like)
(can go into detail if you like)
Details would be wonderful
I'm not sure if now's the best time to transition. I've got to get a job or extend my education and transitioning will make getting a job harder I suspect.
On another note, when I read about other trans people, they often speak of feeling they 'should' be a boy/girl(male/female?). I'm not quite sure I understand what's meant by that. I've had strong wish that I'd been born female since I was about 10/11 years old and that I'd have been better off that way. Is that what they mean?
Original post by fallen_acorns
Been out for over a year now, and these days live life full time as myself
Been out for over a year now, and these days live life full time as myself
Is that the sort of time transitioning takes?
its quite unusual, in everyday life - there are far more transwomen then trans men/other.. - but on here its quite the oposite
+ um details.. about NHS transitioning? - its a long process.. and for most (though ofcourse it depends on the individual) goes like this:
GP visit - tell them about the problems..
Referal to GIC (gender identity clinic - these are dotted around the country, and sepcialise in trans care) - this can happen either dirrectly through the GP, or via a psychiatrist..
A wait - funding for your GIC apointments will need to be secured from your local PCT (funding council people) - this can take anywhere from a few months, to a year or so.. depend on where you live - for me, it was about 4 months..
then you get to go to the GIC! lovely places
there, you will probably have to have 3 psych assesments with a doctor - to talk and assess what treatment is right for you..
each one of these will be spaced out, with 6 weeks or so inbetween...
then after that you will be sent to a doctor - who will decided/work with you on your treatment..
which for most is hormones+speach therapy+lazer hair removal.. to start with.. (though this is changing in april.. long story..)
-- to get those though, you need to have filled all of their critera.. one of those - is to have been 'passing' in public for 3 months, and lead a fully female life..
-- all in all, it can take anywhere from 6 months upwards.. to get it all together.. - which is why i always recomend starting the ball rolling soon after coming out
-- ok next thing:
Regarding other trans peoples experiance.. its tricky, finding words to describe such complex feelings/idenity problems - is always hard.. you sound though, like a tipical transgirl and what you discribe is identicle to me/others - though everyone is different, and there is no set, or one way, to be trans
-- as for time it takes to transition... umm, that depends what you mean.. - do you mean fully? to be compeltly female? if so no. its alot longer..
going down the NHS route - you are looking at: 6 months prior to treatment... then hormones for 2 years... then GRS (genitle sugery)... then possibly top/facial sugery if needed... + hormones will take 2-3 years to fully get there... (its a second puberty.. - so your talking many many years, probably 3-5 to fully transition...
its a long process...
in terms of socially transitioning though.. thats much quicker - depending on how you look/how confident and comfortable you are
its tricky though.. i dont pass well, not at all... but still go out every day/dress completly feminine... etc.. - but its not easy..
hope this all helps
+ um details.. about NHS transitioning? - its a long process.. and for most (though ofcourse it depends on the individual) goes like this:
GP visit - tell them about the problems..
Referal to GIC (gender identity clinic - these are dotted around the country, and sepcialise in trans care) - this can happen either dirrectly through the GP, or via a psychiatrist..
A wait - funding for your GIC apointments will need to be secured from your local PCT (funding council people) - this can take anywhere from a few months, to a year or so.. depend on where you live - for me, it was about 4 months..
then you get to go to the GIC!
lovely places there, you will probably have to have 3 psych assesments with a doctor - to talk and assess what treatment is right for you..
each one of these will be spaced out, with 6 weeks or so inbetween...
then after that you will be sent to a doctor - who will decided/work with you on your treatment..
which for most is hormones+speach therapy+lazer hair removal.. to start with.. (though this is changing in april.. long story..)
-- to get those though, you need to have filled all of their critera.. one of those - is to have been 'passing' in public for 3 months, and lead a fully female life..
-- all in all, it can take anywhere from 6 months upwards.. to get it all together.. - which is why i always recomend starting the ball rolling soon after coming out
-- ok next thing:
Regarding other trans peoples experiance.. its tricky, finding words to describe such complex feelings/idenity problems - is always hard.. you sound though, like a tipical transgirl
and what you discribe is identicle to me/others - though everyone is different, and there is no set, or one way, to be trans -- as for time it takes to transition... umm, that depends what you mean.. - do you mean fully? to be compeltly female? if so no. its alot longer..
going down the NHS route - you are looking at: 6 months prior to treatment... then hormones for 2 years... then GRS (genitle sugery)... then possibly top/facial sugery if needed... + hormones will take 2-3 years to fully get there... (its a second puberty.. - so your talking many many years, probably 3-5 to fully transition...
its a long process...
in terms of socially transitioning though.. thats much quicker - depending on how you look/how confident and comfortable you are
its tricky though.. i dont pass well, not at all... but still go out every day/dress completly feminine... etc.. - but its not easy..
hope this all helps
Original post by fallen_acorns
hope this all helps
hope this all helps
It does!
I've got lots to think about...
but I'm feeling a bit better.
Original post by incipientT
It does!
I've got lots to think about...
but I'm feeling a bit better.
I've got lots to think about...
but I'm feeling a bit better.
oh, its a tough/confusing time im sure
- there is always alot to think about!But things do get alot better
- and well.. life keeps going, and things become easier..there will be some bad times - and well, unless you look feminine natrually (which alot do) - then there will be some downright awefull times...
But there is also alot of good!
finally fealing like yourself.. geting to wear/do the things you feel comfortable with.. being treated as yourself, seen as a girl, etc.. - are just beyond wonderfull
+ your going to need a lot of new clothes
Original post by BKS
Every time I see someone describe the process of medical transition I always feel the need to add that's all true expect if you live in Scotland. I got rather confused at first cause I kept reading England and Wales info
I live in Scotland. I take it there are important differences?
I've read that it's possible to self-refer to a GIC. Is this true? Is it preferable?
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by incipientT
I live in Scotland. I take it there are important differences?
I've read that it's possible to self-refer to a GIC. Is this true? Is it preferable?
I've read that it's possible to self-refer to a GIC. Is this true? Is it preferable?
That's why I say it
Yes, phone Sandyford (0141 211 8137) and ask to be put on their waiting list. Will save you several months. There's also no PCTs
There's a doctor in Edinburgh but her waiting list is generally several times the length.
You'll see one of the doctors then the other 3-6 months later. Both appointments will be similar getting to know you stuff. If they both think you are reasonably sane and actually trans (it's very unlikely that they won't so don't worry) then you just go to the drop in as need be. It was first Tuesday of the month last I checked.
You'll be told at the second appointment how long you need to live full time before you can start hormones (somewhere 6-12 months, I forget) so you'll probably turn back up at the drop in around then for blood tests if you don't need them before then. If you do need them you can do to the drop in whenever. After the blood test you go back the next month for a note to tell your GP to write a prescription. You don't need to see them for a full appointment again you are around the time for surgery
I'll see if I can find the trans women yahoo group which isn't perfect but your best place if you want to ask any specific questions about Sandyford
edit: can't find it, this/ facebook is likely your best bet
Also, on the living full time as a woman thing, you don't necessarily need to be getting read as female all the time or even most of the time. Some people just don't have good genetic luck on that one so it'd be silly to expect everyone to. You need to be trying and you need to have a paper trail to prove it. Change your name ASAP and get it on your bank account and uni/college/work records. Keep something that proves that. The bit of paper from your uni or whatever can then be given to the GIC doctor and they will count you as living as female from that date. Sooner you do it the better because then the time on the waiting list should be able to count towards how long you need to wait for hormones so isn't just wasted time
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by BKS
That's why I say it
oh wow! never realised it was so different in scotland...
on the one hand, self-referal to GICs is amazing! I wish we had that...
on the other.. it sounds like you guys have to wait a lot longer to get on hormones
- which is a real shame, and must be hard for alot of trans people 
Original post by Storme
Just a light hearted random comment, do any of you do/have done A level chemistry?
I spent today learning about "cis and trans hydrocarbons". lol.
I spent today learning about "cis and trans hydrocarbons". lol.
I was in a lecture once and Cisalpine Gaul and Transalpine Gaul came up. Mind blown.
Original post by Storme
Just a light hearted random comment, do any of you do/have done A level chemistry?
I spent today learning about "cis and trans hydrocarbons". lol.
I spent today learning about "cis and trans hydrocarbons". lol.
My friend who does chemistry thought people were using cis as a science joke. She was amazed when she heard me (I'm very much a social scientist who wouldn't otherwise know 'cis') say it. She never realised it was really generally used
Hi!
Would be really grateful if someone helped me out with questions regarding NHS.
1) Is it completely safe to go to my GP and tell him that I'm pretty sure I have gender dysphoria? I'm asking because I grew up in a different country where the doctors have probably never even heard of it and would just wave me off.
2) I am not a UK citizen but hold a long-term visa, do I actually get any bills paid by NHS? Currently my future is a complete mystery to me, but I guess I gotta at least have an idea what to expect.
HUGE THANKS IN ADVANCE.
Would be really grateful if someone helped me out with questions regarding NHS.
1) Is it completely safe to go to my GP and tell him that I'm pretty sure I have gender dysphoria? I'm asking because I grew up in a different country where the doctors have probably never even heard of it and would just wave me off.
2) I am not a UK citizen but hold a long-term visa, do I actually get any bills paid by NHS? Currently my future is a complete mystery to me, but I guess I gotta at least have an idea what to expect.
HUGE THANKS IN ADVANCE.
Original post by Anonymous
Hi!
Would be really grateful if someone helped me out with questions regarding NHS.
1) Is it completely safe to go to my GP and tell him that I'm pretty sure I have gender dysphoria? I'm asking because I grew up in a different country where the doctors have probably never even heard of it and would just wave me off.
2) I am not a UK citizen but hold a long-term visa, do I actually get any bills paid by NHS? Currently my future is a complete mystery to me, but I guess I gotta at least have an idea what to expect.
HUGE THANKS IN ADVANCE.
Would be really grateful if someone helped me out with questions regarding NHS.
1) Is it completely safe to go to my GP and tell him that I'm pretty sure I have gender dysphoria? I'm asking because I grew up in a different country where the doctors have probably never even heard of it and would just wave me off.
2) I am not a UK citizen but hold a long-term visa, do I actually get any bills paid by NHS? Currently my future is a complete mystery to me, but I guess I gotta at least have an idea what to expect.
HUGE THANKS IN ADVANCE.
1 - yes, completly 100%
2 - not sure.. honestly, dont know how things work with visas.. but i would imagine if your here for a long itme, you would be covered by the NHS..
Original post by Anonymous
1) Is it completely safe to go to my GP and tell him that I'm pretty sure I have gender dysphoria? I'm asking because I grew up in a different country where the doctors have probably never even heard of it and would just wave me off.
I'm not sure I'd agree telling your GP is 100% safe if we define safe as not getting brushed off. Plenty GPs will brush you off. Plenty will have no clue what you are talking about. Plenty will never have been taught about trans stuff. Plenty will never have knowingly had a trans patient. I don't want to scare anyone but wouldn't want to see false expectations. I recon best to be prepared for the worst but hope for the best.
Upside is if your GP is useless then you can see another at that practice or go register elsewhere. they don't need to understand really just be cooperative. My GP knows nothing but will always do her best to help me and for the last 3+ years that's worked out fine. It's worth making sure you have a decent GP to start with rather than battle a current one because the initial inconvenience will be worth it by not longer term having to argue everything with them.
(edited 11 years ago)
I've got a romantic interest who's ftm, and he says he hates it if he's held like a girl - I have no idea how to hold someone in a gendered way, and I don't wanna accidentally get it wrong? Shall I just stick to his shoulders...? Obv will talk to him too...
Original post by Anonymous
I've got a romantic interest who's ftm, and he says he hates it if he's held like a girl - I have no idea how to hold someone in a gendered way, and I don't wanna accidentally get it wrong? Shall I just stick to his shoulders...? Obv will talk to him too...
talking to him is the only way, im the same.. if someone treats me in a way thats tipically male.. it can get to me quite a lot.. - but what we consider male/female interactions - is unique/different to all of us.. so it would be hard for any of us to tell you how to treat him.. - just aproach the subject gently/sensitivly, and find out what he likes/what he doesnt,
also just be attentive, - if you do something which he reacts well to.. - do it again etc
Original post by fallen_acorns
talking to him is the only way, im the same.. if someone treats me in a way thats tipically male.. it can get to me quite a lot.. - but what we consider male/female interactions - is unique/different to all of us.. so it would be hard for any of us to tell you how to treat him.. - just aproach the subject gently/sensitivly, and find out what he likes/what he doesnt,
also just be attentive, - if you do something which he reacts well to.. - do it again etc
also just be attentive, - if you do something which he reacts well to.. - do it again etc
Thanks...
Sorry to bother you all!
Do you think there's anything partner-advice-y that I should read online so I don't keep being a nuisance? Original post by Anonymous
Thanks...
Sorry to bother you all! Do you think there's anything partner-advice-y that I should read online so I don't keep being a nuisance?
Sorry to bother you all!
Do you think there's anything partner-advice-y that I should read online so I don't keep being a nuisance? online? hmm, - possibly - there are some 'partners' groups on places like facebook, tumblr, forums etc. - they may be aood place to start
+ nuisance? not at all! - ask away
thats what this thread is for (though it barely gets used these days)
Original post by Anonymous
Is wearing a sports bra that's slightly too tight going to cause any long term problems? I've been reading horror stories about binding with the wrong things and now I'm paranoid. My breasts don't bother me massively all the time and I only tend to wear it once or twice a week, but should I stop/buy a binder? 
Binding in any form does cause breast tissue to break down, as well as make your breasts look more sagged/stretched downward. It does also force you to breathe more shallow than normal.
Using a sports bra is one of the safer ways to bind, however, a binder is many times more comfortable than a too-small sports bra. I found that a binder also binds much better.
Do they bother you at any constant level? It could be a minor nuisance, but if your breasts bother you at all I'll bet that your posture is often horrible. I didn't notice how bad my posture gets until my bf asked me if my shoulders were widening when I got a new binder lol.
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