I am a boring guy who is going to University in a couple of weeks. Any advice?

Do not be so absorbed in the performance of your life that you fail to realise there is no audience.

Most of them will be Christians.

If there's no Christians (I had ****ing 5 living with me ) some people will be up early.
by laughing at the Christians.

She then tried to make out it was all because she was black.

Whoever negged me, she was CONSTANTLY posting Christian pictures, songs and stuff on fb. How could I possibly not take the piss?

That would only make the OP uncomfortable after all he did say he is not someone who talks a lot 'a man of few words' so this bla bla bla isn't going to work...

Southampton has a great selection of clubs & societies. You must make sure you go to the 'Bun Fight' during freshers week, as that is where they all advertise themselves.

I'm sure you'll find something that you will enjoy. Amongst my group of friends the ones with a little propensity towards dullness seemed to join Union Films on the techie side, and they made some really tight friends. I don't think anyone is really boring - you just need to take this opportunity to find something which interests you.

It sounds like you have a bit on an internal storm going on. I think what you are going through is similar to what most uni freshers would be going through. We all want to be unique, interesting and easy to get along with and you are probably all of those things but you are trying to identify yourself using rigid criteria like clubs you are apart of, if you go out... People aren't as simple as that. You probably know a lot more than you think you do -you just cant organize your thoughts due to focussing on the bad side.

Just relax and things will work out ok, if you focus on how boring you may be then a conversation will go dead because the anxiety will shine through. It probably would be helpful for life in general to see a psychologist about the claustrophobia.

"It's just not my cup of... water."

That was funny

Well, no need to be so negative! Honestly, you're probably no-where near as "boring" as you think.

Join societies, leave your room door open to allow people to come in for a chat, try as hard as possible to throw yourself into things, and soon you'll wonder what you were worried about!

Nothing wrong with being how you are - I personally plan on taking my trusty old Monopoly board to Uni.

Do not be so absorbed in the performance of your life that you fail to realise there is no audience.

So pretty soon, I'm going to be off to university. I'm pretty excited, since it's probably the biggest change to my life so far, but I'm a bit worried about being a really boring person. A lot of my friends at previous schools and college have picked up on this; I've often been regarded as 'like an old man trapped in a teenager's body'. So far, I've been able to play this off humorously and its gone pretty well, but I doubt it'll work as well at university.

I've been getting lots of mail about Freshers Week and how it's going to be the greatest night ever, and loads of stuff about the exciting night-life and clubs, but that is literally my idea of a living hell. To begin with, I am very phonophobic; I do not like loud music, regardless of the genre, and the feeling of the music shaking through my body makes me feel sick instantly. I am also claustrophobic; just thinking about being surrounded by hundreds of other students flailing their limbs wildly to the already-feared deafening music in a dark-ish room makes me nervous! Also, with regards to being social, I don't drink alcohol. Or any drink other than water. Not sparkling either; just regular water. (People used to say that this was a pretty good metaphor for me...). It's not a moral thing; it just makes me feel sick to drink anything other than water. However, all the media that I am receiving seems to imply that university, and Freshers Week in particular, is just going to be a combination of these three things; a huge drinks-fest in a really loud and crowded club.

(Just want to make this clear early on; I'm not at all opposed to people doing this sort of thing! It's just not my cup of... water.)

There are loads of other reasons to make people think I am boring as well:

I am willing to bet a good deal of money that I am probably one of the most boring 18-year-olds in the UK, and I'm completely fine with that. However, I don't want to come across as aloof, cold or unfriendly; I don't object to anybody doing any of these things at all, and I would love to make friends and socialise... I just can't stick it in certain environments that a lot of other people my age seem to love, don't do a lot of things that other people do, and I find it hard to find conversational topics since I'm not particularly familiar with most aspects of modern life that people usually talk about. I'm also really bad with humour; for example, a lot of the stuff I've written in this post to be 'humorous' could probably come across as depressive or passive-aggressive.

Throughout my school and college days, I just studied. Other than at break-times, I did very little socialising; once every month or so, I went to the town centre with a couple of friends, had a meal, did some shopping and then went home. That was it as far as my social life went. I've never had a partner; I've had a few offers from members of both genders and turned them down because I've never felt any need to take my relationship with another person any further than friendship (I should probably add that to the list as well...). I never bothered to learn anything non-academic, since until about a year or two ago the academic world was the only world I knew really, and I've missed out on so much that I should've learned by now that, at this point, I feel like I am really inexperienced at being a 'regular human being' and there's very little I can do about it.

I've already been told to 'just be yourself', but I feel like being me is going to limit my potential to make friends and be sociable in this environment. I know that there are plenty of people at university that don't drink or go clubbing, but I always imagine that finding them is easier said than done, and the media that I'm being sent makes the chance seem very slim or non-existent! What's more, I'm probably a couple of orders of magnitude more boring than them, so what if they reject me? I don't want to be stuck completely alone hundreds of miles from home for four years, but it seems to me like a real possibility to me at the moment!

Does anyone have any advice, or are willing to share their experience if they were in any sort of similar situation? It sounds really stupid and petty reading it back, but it's something that keeps me up at night. I know already that the problem lies with myself, not anyone else, and that I should try my best to 'put myself out there and have fun', but I feel really limited in this scenario...

TL;DR: I often come across as a really boring guy and I'm worried that I will be rejected by other students at the university. Advice?

That would only make the OP uncomfortable after all he did say he is not someone who talks a lot 'a man of few words' so this bla bla bla isn't going to work...

So pretty soon, I'm going to be off to university. I'm pretty excited, since it's probably the biggest change to my life so far, but I'm a bit worried about being a really boring person. A lot of my friends at previous schools and college have picked up on this; I've often been regarded as 'like an old man trapped in a teenager's body'. So far, I've been able to play this off humorously and its gone pretty well, but I doubt it'll work as well at university.

I've been getting lots of mail about Freshers Week and how it's going to be the greatest night ever, and loads of stuff about the exciting night-life and clubs, but that is literally my idea of a living hell. To begin with, I am very phonophobic; I do not like loud music, regardless of the genre, and the feeling of the music shaking through my body makes me feel sick instantly. I am also claustrophobic; just thinking about being surrounded by hundreds of other students flailing their limbs wildly to the already-feared deafening music in a dark-ish room makes me nervous! Also, with regards to being social, I don't drink alcohol. Or any drink other than water. Not sparkling either; just regular water. (People used to say that this was a pretty good metaphor for me...). It's not a moral thing; it just makes me feel sick to drink anything other than water. However, all the media that I am receiving seems to imply that university, and Freshers Week in particular, is just going to be a combination of these three things; a huge drinks-fest in a really loud and crowded club.

(Just want to make this clear early on; I'm not at all opposed to people doing this sort of thing! It's just not my cup of... water.)

There are loads of other reasons to make people think I am boring as well:

I am willing to bet a good deal of money that I am probably one of the most boring 18-year-olds in the UK, and I'm completely fine with that. However, I don't want to come across as aloof, cold or unfriendly; I don't object to anybody doing any of these things at all, and I would love to make friends and socialise... I just can't stick it in certain environments that a lot of other people my age seem to love, don't do a lot of things that other people do, and I find it hard to find conversational topics since I'm not particularly familiar with most aspects of modern life that people usually talk about. I'm also really bad with humour; for example, a lot of the stuff I've written in this post to be 'humorous' could probably come across as depressive or passive-aggressive.

Throughout my school and college days, I just studied. Other than at break-times, I did very little socialising; once every month or so, I went to the town centre with a couple of friends, had a meal, did some shopping and then went home. That was it as far as my social life went. I've never had a partner; I've had a few offers from members of both genders and turned them down because I've never felt any need to take my relationship with another person any further than friendship (I should probably add that to the list as well...). I never bothered to learn anything non-academic, since until about a year or two ago the academic world was the only world I knew really, and I've missed out on so much that I should've learned by now that, at this point, I feel like I am really inexperienced at being a 'regular human being' and there's very little I can do about it.

I've already been told to 'just be yourself', but I feel like being me is going to limit my potential to make friends and be sociable in this environment. I know that there are plenty of people at university that don't drink or go clubbing, but I always imagine that finding them is easier said than done, and the media that I'm being sent makes the chance seem very slim or non-existent! What's more, I'm probably a couple of orders of magnitude more boring than them, so what if they reject me? I don't want to be stuck completely alone hundreds of miles from home for four years, but it seems to me like a real possibility to me at the moment!

Does anyone have any advice, or are willing to share their experience if they were in any sort of similar situation? It sounds really stupid and petty reading it back, but it's something that keeps me up at night. I know already that the problem lies with myself, not anyone else, and that I should try my best to 'put myself out there and have fun', but I feel really limited in this scenario...

TL;DR: I often come across as a really boring guy and I'm worried that I will be rejected by other students at the university. Advice?

I find your boringness fascinating and you sound like a pretty funny guy! In order for people to like you, you must like yourself!

Quit worrying, all physics students are boring!

Just a quick question: do you want to do more things and be less "boring" (your word not mine!)?

I mean, I'm a bit like you in that I never really used to do much... I was too scared. I suffer with an anxiety disorder and I would rarely leave my house, even to go to college so I didn't even have academics! but I do have a point and that is: fears can be overcome, your life can be interesting and your situation will be what you make of it. I found that I had to just find things which scared me and do them anyway, try new things, push my comfort zone... I applied for an part time job, then got an internship with ChildLine and with that I have had countless experiences which made me see things in a different way. Before that I thought I was boring and there wasn't much point to my life cos I never really did anything. Now I'm off to uni, I have the best friends in the world and I think there's hope for anyone you just have to be willing to try. I have to put myself in situations I find hugely uncomfortable but it's the only way to face fears and have new experiences.

Sorry if this didnt help you much though!

Hey you going Southampton?! I go there Go to the bunfight during Freshers' week. All the societies have stalls and there are so many that you're bound to find one you like, and it's great for making friends with similar interests who don't just want to go out and get drunk all the time. Definitely join your course's society as that's the best place for making like-minded friends. Seriously, don't worry about making friends, you'll be fine.

Well if he wants to make friends he's going to have to talk and hold a conversation.

OP, you don't sound boring at all! You sound funny and bright.


Most people I know are, sorry to say it, VERY boring! If there was just one person like that, fine. But everyone? almost exactly the same? Having all that they have, lots of extras, doesn't mean they're exciting or anything. It just means they latch onto things more easily than people like you.

I know a guy exactly like you!!!!!!!!!!!!! except he didnt mind drinking other drinks. He is very anti-social, and shy. Hes started university last year and I asked him how it is all going, his reply was that he actually really enjoyed it. At uni there are so many different kinds of people that you will meet. There is a guarantee that you will find someone that do not like clubbing, loud music, do not drink at all, AND they still really enjoy it. I'm actually so certain on this because I've met quite a few people on tsr asking about a similar problem on different threads. To be honest you don't need to drink, or go clubbing to have fun. You just need to be around the right people that suits you.

I hope this helped you a little bit!! You will have an awesome time at uni with or without the partying

OP, don't worry. You'll get to University and find that there's a whole load of people just like you: people who thought they were boring at high school and are worried that that's how they will be labelled (because they can't stand clubbing). I know, I was one of them too.

As others have said, Uni is a great time for trying new things. Browse the list of societies and clubs at your Uni and pick a few to try out. You might not have had any hobbies at high school, but there must be something that you makes you think: "you know, I really wish I could do that!". For me, it was inline skating. Seriously, think about it. What do you wish you knew how to do? Play electric guitar? Juggle? Breakdance? Speak Japanese? Snowboard? Kung Fu?

wow thats a long post. and you actually seem funny. AND some old people are actually pretty cool and I tend to get along with them? AND I don't drink alcohol either, so does this make me a boring person too? (I'm guessing it does) but I'm not too fussed. I'm also not the biggest fan of 'partying' and going out and whatnot. and despite all of these things, I'm quite looking forward to uni next month. and even the whole freshers/welcome week. just not the nights out and etc. (wow how boring am I)

Genuinely, don't overthink it. The bottom line is that if you don't have any confidence in yourself and think you're boring, other people will pick up on that and start to think the same. I don't have any specific advice about the whole not-liking-clubbing thing because tbh I'm the same and still haven't got the balance right between doing what I want and fitting in with other people (going into 2nd year), but if it's any consolation I'm also exactly the same when it comes to 'hobbies'. Joining lots of clubs and societies to make friends would be pointless for me because I get bored easily and can't commit, so I didn't bother when I started uni. Overall you actually seem like quite a savvy, funny guy and if you let that come through people will naturally gravitate towards you.

I'm going southampton too!! You've no idea how long I've been on the box office for freshers events, adding and deleting things. I'm not really into clubbing, but I feel like I should try out a few events and push myself a bit. I feel like you sometimes, a bit of a bore and not much use to anyone, although I do realize I'm being silly sometimes, just comparing myself to the crowd. I wish I could control my negativity more because it just makes it worse for me, but it takes confidence and time. So yeah you're not the only one who's nervous about this. I reckon if I try a bit of everything, even a few club events, I'll find others with the same interests and stop myself getting down. and yeah definitely take a look at the clubs and societies! we don't all have to be like the majority THAT is what's really boring See you soonnnnn