Feel like a sad excuse for a person for not embracing uni
Hey, I just started university 2 weeks ago and have been depressed the entire time. I keep hearing from friends what an amazing time there having I feel like there is something wrong with me? All I want to do is stay home and do nothing, I hate going out and socialising and I have room in halls and i'm not even using it because I hate it there. Just feel as though this whole university experience isnt for me. Just wondering if anyone else has ever felt this way? and what did you do about it?
I've never been very sociable, I have friends but would avoid seeing them outside of school/college hours. I've made a few friends at university but even then, when i go out with them for meals or something, i just feel awkward and cant wait to go home.
Is this normal? or am i an exception? I feel like I should be embracing being 18 at a good university but I would rather not do anything except attend lectures.
Any comments accepted even if there not good :P
I've never been very sociable, I have friends but would avoid seeing them outside of school/college hours. I've made a few friends at university but even then, when i go out with them for meals or something, i just feel awkward and cant wait to go home.
Is this normal? or am i an exception? I feel like I should be embracing being 18 at a good university but I would rather not do anything except attend lectures.
Any comments accepted even if there not good :P
(edited 11 years ago)
Thing is if you are socially awkward, embarassing things are bound to happen for the first few days of social interactions. But it is essential you face the fear and just do it, you have the fresher's week to make a fool of your self and then the friendship groups will start to form and you will be a loner for the rest of your time at university. Use the fact that you won't meet most of the people at fresher's later on as practise for the real thing.
I would highly recommend getting involved in a society or two. If you struggle getting along with/socialising with people off your course and in your halls, it might be that you need something in common with your prospective friends in order to feel comfortable around them. Have a look at your society list, find something that interests you (it doesn't matter what it is), go along and meet with the people there. Having a common cause to be in a room is the best way to feel comfortable with yourself and your surroundings as everyone is there for the same thing and has the same purpose. You don't even have to make small talk if you don't want to. Just go along, partake in the activity, discussion group, sports team or whatever and focus on having a good time doing something that you enjoy, and hopefully you'll meet some people similar to yourself. Don't give up just yet, it just takes some people longer to settle down than others 
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. So your no social animal, why should that matter. I am in every way the same. I hate going out, always feel awkward when I'm in a big group, and never see the sense in drinking. Ask yourself, Why am I at University? Because you want an education. If you have rooms at halls, but live close by, then perhaps you should enquire as to whether you can move back home and get rid of your room, there's no point in being theer if your depressed. Remember, uni isn't everything, you don't need uni to take over your life. Get a part time job, or maybe do some voluntry work. I only started uni this week, and whilst I love my course and the modules, I have no interest in the whole "student experience". Don't follow the crowd if it's going to make you unhappy, be true to yourself.
Original post by RavinaKang
Hey, I just started university 2 weeks ago and have been depressed the entire time. I keep hearing from friends what an amazing time there having I feel like there is something wrong with me? All I want to do is stay home and do nothing, I hate going out and socialising and I have room in halls and i'm not even using it because I hate it there. Just feel as though this whole university experience isnt for me. Just wondering if anyone else has ever felt this way? and what did you do about it?
I've never been very sociable, I have friends but would avoid seeing them outside of school/college hours. I've made a few friends at university but even then, when i go out with them for meals or something, i just feel awkward and cant wait to go home.
Is this normal? or am i an exception? I feel like I should be embracing being 18 at a good university but I would rather not do anything except attend lectures.
Any comments accepted even if there not good :P
I've never been very sociable, I have friends but would avoid seeing them outside of school/college hours. I've made a few friends at university but even then, when i go out with them for meals or something, i just feel awkward and cant wait to go home.
Is this normal? or am i an exception? I feel like I should be embracing being 18 at a good university but I would rather not do anything except attend lectures.
Any comments accepted even if there not good :P
I feel EXACTLY the same!! I thought it was just me, I've joined a few socieites but most people tend to go with their friends and so they don't talk to other people What makes it worse I only have 7 hours contact time and so there's not a lot to distract me from the way I'm feeling. Hating uni right now -_-. Your not alone wish I knew how to help us both.
I was in this place you describe for 2 ****ing years.
please, join some socieitys you're interested in, do not waste your time at university because you're too shy, it will not be awkward, have a few drinks, if there are regrets the morning after that's just the way it goes it usually not too embarrassing. even if you fall flat on your face you can tell yourself you tried.
you don't need to get hammered to be friendly just have a few...please do it, don't waste your time getting down about not fitting in because I was the same...I don't fit in with "normal" people...
please, join some socieitys you're interested in, do not waste your time at university because you're too shy, it will not be awkward, have a few drinks, if there are regrets the morning after that's just the way it goes it usually not too embarrassing. even if you fall flat on your face you can tell yourself you tried.
you don't need to get hammered to be friendly just have a few...please do it, don't waste your time getting down about not fitting in because I was the same...I don't fit in with "normal" people...
Hi, everyone, thanks for all these comments. As selfish as it seems, I feel better knowing i'm not alone! After reading your comments, i've decided to get swapped to another flat in halls and will start again just 2 weeks late! I've joined a few societies last week but chickened out of going to the meet and greet but I will go this week. Just gonna have to force myself to deal with it and hope it gets better. I hope all of you have an amazing year and thanks for the help. It means a lot to me. :-)
What you need is a very close friend who isn't as shy as you to help you come out of your shell. That's going to be difficult to find though.
I'm just like you. Hate going out and being social in a 'fake' atmosphere at Uni. Everyone is just clinging onto each other so they don't come across a loner. I go into Uni to study and come home and go about my business. When you start working after you graduate, you will then be making 'friends' with work mates. Uni does not matter at all to be seen alone. Everybody is going about there own business and only a FEW people come out of Uni with long lasted friendships so don't worry about it!
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