How interested is he in me?

Please keep anon as he may be a user on here.

Hi guys,

I've been good friends with a guy for about 2 years now. We're going to the same university in September (both unconditional offers) and I've started to wonder if he's interested in me. I know he's attracted to me in some degree and we've both admitted this to each other in the past. We tell each other everything - I know that he's currently in messy situations with two girls and plans to perhaps start a relationship with one next year whilst wanting to have sex with the other. What I'm concerned about is last night he tried to kiss me, repeatedly, and I refused because I thought it was weird to suddenly kiss him just like that, as if the two other girls didn't matter. Later, I found a note in my pocket: he'd written our initials with a heart interlinking both, and the date.

What does this mean?! Before he tried to kiss me he told me that he thought our 'friendship wouldn't change' if we did kiss and that 'this wasn't going to go anywhere.' Yet... why did he write that note and put it in my pocket? Thoughts? Thanks in advance!

Reply 1

Cryogenic

7

Of all the 'What does it mean?' threads I've seen this has to be one of the most obvious: he likes you! Quite a lot.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Cryogenic

Of all the 'What does it mean?' threads I've seen this has to be one of the most obvious: he likes you! Quite a lot.

Thank you for replying :smile:

If he's into me, then why is he pursuing these other girls? Why do I just get the overwhelming sensation that it was opportunity on his part to kiss me? I'm so confused!

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Cryogenic

Of all the 'What does it mean?' threads I've seen this has to be one of the most obvious: he likes you! Quite a lot.

Also.... if he's into me then why say (on his part) that our friendship wouldn't change as a result if we kissed and that 'we both knew this wouldn't go anywhere?'

Reply 4

thinktoomuch610

4

Original post by Anonymous

Thank you for replying :smile:

If he's into me, then why is he pursuing these other girls? Why do I just get the overwhelming sensation that it was opportunity on his part to kiss me? I'm so confused!

I think he's probably pursuing these other girls because he's scared you'll reject him. He clearly has a thing for you! So what you need to do is talk to him about it, and say that you can't reciprocate any emotions until you know what the deal is with these other two girls.

Reply 5

Sadian

15

In my experience, guys can often end up telling a girl about all his girl troubles, experiences and future potential girlfriends. He may also ask and receive advice on other girls and even receive help on getting a girlfriend from said girl. Through all this, the guy may end up in a situation where he has talked so much about other girls but then ended up liking that very girl in the end. Possibly because of the friendship that developed due to talking about all this, or probably even that he liked you in the first place but talking about other girls came naturally but he also kinda wanted to impress you and psychologically, girls are attracted to guys that other girls also like as it shows that they're a good partner.

Maybe this is one of those cases? It could be. Or maybe it's 4:45am and I really have no clue what I'm on about at the moment because I'm even confusing myself, haha.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by thinktoomuch610

I think he's probably pursuing these other girls because he's scared you'll reject him. He clearly has a thing for you! So what you need to do is talk to him about it, and say that you can't reciprocate any emotions until you know what the deal is with these other two girls.

Thanks for your input :smile:

I suppose the thing that I just don't understand the most is that we have both told each other that we find the other attractive, but I've always had the impression from him that this doesn't extend to far as to mean actually fancying my personality as opposed to just liking it - does that make sense. We've also spent MONTHS talking about this one girl in particular whom we both know and how he could start pursuing a relationship with her - he tells me everything he's done with her! I just don't understand how someone can be into three girls at once.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Sadian

In my experience, guys can often end up telling a girl about all his girl troubles, experiences and future potential girlfriends. He may also ask and receive advice on other girls and even receive help on getting a girlfriend from said girl. Through all this, the guy may end up in a situation where he has talked so much about other girls but then ended up liking that very girl in the end. Possibly because of the friendship that developed due to talking about all this, or probably even that he liked you in the first place but talking about other girls came naturally but he also kinda wanted to impress you and psychologically, girls are attracted to guys that other girls also like as it shows that they're a good partner.

Maybe this is one of those cases? It could be. Or maybe it's 4:45am and I really have no clue what I'm on about at the moment because I'm even confusing myself, haha.

I suppose this could be very true. I have no idea. On paper we're a perfect couple but for me the note came out of the blue and it was exceptionally confusing, bearing in mind that he said that evening that 'things weren't going to go any further.'

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

Anyone else?

Reply 9

DorianGrayism

19

Well, he sounds like a douche.

So on the basis of that alone, does it really matter what he thinks or wants?

Why would you even think that you are a perfect couple when he is playing around with the emotions of two other people??

Reply 10

thinktoomuch610

4

Yeah, he can't make up his mind. So I wouldn't bother.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 11

Hal.E.Lujah

19

Are you sitting down? I have a bombshell for you. Ready?

You're one of the girls he's in the messy situation with. Work out which one you are, and decide if you can handle someone who wants his fingers in many pies.

Reply 12

ava003

I think you need to talk to him about it! Just say you're confused about what he said and you'd appreciate honesty. If he's after sex with you and a relationship with someone else, then in all honesty he's a really bad friend and you should cut contact. If he's after a relationship with YOU, then he could well have been telling you about the other girls in a classic attempt to try and make you jealous! the note in your pocket sounds like he wants a relationship with you, but you definitely need to check with him what he's on about, as his behaviour right now is a bit puzzling! good luck with it :smile:

Reply 13

ravina_04

hmm.. you could say that its a boys defence mechanism, when he doesnt know what to do with the girl he actually likes -(which seems to be you) he'll hunt for back up - maybe i'm wrong?!

but either way, if you try to tell each other everything..you should talk it out with him..you cannot understand what it meant by just inference, you need to ask him, how he feels about you and why he did it!! He cannot be trying it on with other girls that you're aware of and try to kiss you - if theres any sense in it, he'll cut it off with them two and come to you.. but you shouldnt just leap into there until youre sure, just to spare your own feelings!!!

Reply 14

youmad

7

If you tell each other everything then there is a connection and this will grow the more you open up to each other, so feelings will grow too, so yes he probably likes you

Reply 15

formanmark

1

I carnt see any bloke writing a note like that unless he was drunk? You sure he put the note in your pocket?

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 16

Anonymous #2

Original post by Sadian

In my experience, guys can often end up telling a girl about all his girl troubles, experiences and future potential girlfriends. He may also ask and receive advice on other girls and even receive help on getting a girlfriend from said girl. Through all this, the guy may end up in a situation where he has talked so much about other girls but then ended up liking that very girl in the end. Possibly because of the friendship that developed due to talking about all this, or probably even that he liked you in the first place but talking about other girls came naturally but he also kinda wanted to impress you and psychologically, girls are attracted to guys that other girls also like as it shows that they're a good partner.

Maybe this is one of those cases? It could be. Or maybe it's 4:45am and I really have no clue what I'm on about at the moment because I'm even confusing myself, haha.

That happened to me :colone:

But when I asked her out she said no, cos she thought I was a player and that I'd never be faithful to her. Hurt that did. All I asked was for her to find me a girlfriend :awesome:

How'd it go for you mate?

How interested is he in me?

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