The Student Room Group

Some People Just Aren't Attractive

And I feel like I might be one of them.

1) If I am what I think is 'myself' then girls think I'm 'cute' and 'sweet' and 'witty' but don't really think of me in that way.

2) If I try to be a bit harder-to-get and a bit flirtatious then girls aren't really interested in me unless they're drunk.

3) If I try to be 'nice' then I make friends but nothing else.

There's one girl who I thought liked me. We dated a bit but called it off on friendly terms because we were going to different unis. This at least I drew a bit of self-confidence from... until I found out a few weeks back that she's actually now properly going out with this guy she knew before she knew me and who is going to the same uni that I'm now going to.

Are some people just fundamentally unattractive? I'm quite posh and maybe slightly camp but apparently I am basically somewhat good-looking and I have enough friends for me to suspect I'm not a total bore. Do I just emit 'please do not be romantically interested in me' pheromones?
Reply 1
I'm pretty sure you will be ok! Everyone has different ideas about what is attractive and a good personality always adds to someone's appeal. Obviously the way you deal with girls depeneds on whether you're just looking for someone to hook up with or a relationship. If it's a relationship you're after I'd just keep being yourself. You can't change the way you look and you don't want to pretend to be something you're not, end up in a relationship and then realise it's not you she likes - it's who you're pretending to be.
Just be friendly, confident and make her laugh! You'll be fine :smile:
Reply 2
Cute is attractive.
Reply 3
It's all about the way you present yourself. If you have zero self-esteem and confidence then girls will pick that up, and that is not an attractive thing. Likewise if you have good self-esteem and confidence girls will pick that up to and be interested in you, it's not all to do with looks.
Reply 4
Original post by Swanbow
It's all about the way you present yourself. If you have zero self-esteem and confidence then girls will pick that up, and that is not an attractive thing. Likewise if you have good self-esteem and confidence girls will pick that up to and be interested in you, it's not all to do with looks.


Agreed, don't think about it so much, you only live once and you'll look back at this time of doubting yourself so much and wish you never had. And also perhaps this sounds very harsh but don't waste your time on people like that who cant just tell you straight how they feel, probably not worth your time anyway. Find someone who's honest, confident and genuinely cherishes you than wishing away your life on someone who doesnt. Be yourself and be confident in it, then you'll attract somebody who truly loves YOU.

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