Friends with your ex

Poll

Are you friends with your most recent ex?

Lucyvet2006

Hiya, just recently broken up and REALLY miss my ex. I know that it was the right decision to break up but he's still a really really nice person + we know eachother so well, we've both decided we still want to be friends. We broke up not long ago just for a week but saw eachother straight after and it was tough + really weird, we couldn't act like just friends.
I know I have to leave it a while but how long do I need to leave before I can see him again?
What kind of stuff is OK to talk about? Before he really supported me when I was lonely + really messed up with binge-eating + depressed + self-loathing, I know he says he'll still be there for me but I can't expect him to say 'you're ok, you're beautiful, I love you, I'm there for you' etc so is it best just not to talk about personal stuff + just accept that I've lost someone I could really rely on?
And now for a poll- how many of you are really friends with your most recent ex?

Reply 1

icy_shadow2006

Me and my ex agreed we would be friends after we broke up but after a month of so we just kind of drifted apart again and now i rarely see her, it gets a little weird sometimes when you are with your ex as you cant say things you used to and do things you used to, but if you still like each other there is no reason why you shouldnt stay as friends.

Reply 2

blondie_

3

Im still friends with my ex from a few months ago. It can be weird at times like converstaions of new bfs/gfs and giving each other a hug. But so far its been ok. I hating lose friends :-(

Reply 3

username47781

20

why did you break up?

Reply 4

bikerx23

1

I hate her, she's indifferent towards me (2 cases).

Reply 5

Monkey_Maiden

11

Me and my bf split at end of December and we promised to be best mates but we ended up sleeping together a few times and he cut me out of his life. I would like to be mates or at least talk to him sometimes but he doesn't want to have me in his life anymore, sucks :frown:

I would say give it a few weeks or so but don't ask him about any people he's seen/seeing etc. just matey things :smile:

Reply 6

Top_Cat

Monkey_Maiden

Me and my bf split at end of December and we promised to be best mates but we ended up sleeping together a few times and he cut me out of his life. I would like to be mates or at least talk to him sometimes but he doesn't want to have me in his life anymore, sucks :frown:

I would say give it a few weeks or so but don't ask him about any people he's seen/seeing etc. just matey things :smile:

That's a proper head **** though isn't it. It's hard enough getting over an ex without being unsure whether you're just being mates or sleeping together or a mixture of the two.

I think you're best off out of it.

Reply 7

xavier2k3

1

Me and my ex are still friends, i see her practically everyday though and we're in the same form and have the same group of friends (at collge anyway) so it is kinda unavoidable.

regards
--marty

Reply 8

Lucyvet2006

OP

Carl1982

why did you break up?

I don't really know, we don't have as much in common as we did when we got together. Also, I'm going away for the summer and then to Uni + we had to break up some time because I don't want to have a boyfriend at home when I go to Uni. I guess I didn't see things working out long-term + sometimes on the phone we had nothing to talk about or he just got on my nerves. I'm probably being fair on him to end it because he loved/s?! me and I'm not sure if I love him.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

Im Worried Now Me And My Ex Have Slept With Each Other Since We Split A Few Times. What Happens If He Cuts Me Out To?

Reply 10

Harv616

9

Exs are evil
Exs are evil
Exs are evil
Exs are evil
Exs are evil
Exs are evil
Exs are evil
Exs are evil
Exs are evil

Reply 11

Wonderboy Blue

1

I want to be her friend! lol. But she sent me a two word email which wasn't very encouraging and didn't allow me anything to say to continue the conversation...'everythings fine' *sigh*

Reply 12

jointhedots

16

I went out with one of my ex's for a year and a half - we broke up just under three years ago and have been really really good friends since about four months after the breakup.

For a couple of months we just didn't see each other, but now it's all good and he's one of my closest friends. We talk about everything, we've both met new people and there's no awkwardness at all. I think there's something wrong with your judge of character if you go out with someone for a long time and then realise you totally hate them...

Reply 13

bikerx23

1

Anonymous

Im Worried Now Me And My Ex Have Slept With Each Other Since We Split A Few Times. What Happens If He Cuts Me Out To?

Who knows...but maybe you will have enough time to go to English lessons eh...

Reply 14

Monkey_Maiden

11

Anonymous

Im Worried Now Me And My Ex Have Slept With Each Other Since We Split A Few Times. What Happens If He Cuts Me Out To?

It depends what the situation is like. With me and my ex, he dumped me and I still loved him so by sleeping with each other I hoped he would want me back but he just saw it as sex. As soon as he realised he wanted other people and I was boring he told me to bugger off and he changed completely
Hopefully your ex is nicer and wouldn't use you. Just be warned sleeping with an ex normally ends bad :frown:

Reply 15

Monkey_Maiden

11

Top_Cat

That's a proper head **** though isn't it. It's hard enough getting over an ex without being unsure whether you're just being mates or sleeping together or a mixture of the two.

I think you're best off out of it.

Thanks dude, me too :smile:

Reply 16

Anonymous #1

I've decided anyway im not going to sleep with him next time i see him! What is wrong with my english?

Reply 17

bikerx23

1

I Have No Idea Whatsoever - What Could Possibly Be Grammatically Incorrect About This Post?

Reply 18

HearTheThunder

17

I used to think that whole thing where you 'can't be friends with your ex' was just people being uncivil or retaining some vendetta or something. Unfortunately, that's not the case; the descent into being each other's nemesis becomes quite natural, and the hate increases proportionate to the love that was prior.

Reply 19

Lady_Muck

14

Urgh.

ExBF and I broke up because he's at uni 200 miles away and I'm not. Was a holiday only thing, so we split up, carried on talking like we used to, carried on 'seeing' each other, tried not speaking....We started arguing, not speaking, then we did start speaking...Yada yada ya...

Short answer, we can't just be friends, at all. I cut him out, lose all of my friends (our circle is mutual, we were together for nearly 3 years, so all of my friends are his), lose out on a summer of fantastic fun etc. Yet, I just cannot move on, I get insanely jealous when he gets with someone and I just don't tell him when I have.

It's really hard, though if I go to my first choice uni then I'll hopefully be 20 minutes away and something can really happen, make or break sort of thing.

Maybe one day, maybe not.

Friends with your ex

Are you friends with your most recent ex?

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