Freshers Week: Parents Staying Overnight. HELP.
I'm off to university and my mother wants to stay overnight the first night of freshers week with me to help me settle in properly - she most definitely will not be going to the party obviously. I get and appreciate that she's only trying to help but am worried that this may alienate me from other students early on. We've had disagreements over this and I just always end up feeling bad because I realise that she may think that I don't need her anymore which isn't true. What should I do? Am I a bad/ungrateful daughter seeing as it is only for one night to help me?? Try not to be too harsh on me aha
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In my whole time at University, I never heard one example of a parent staying in a student halls of residence or flat. I think you're mum's just worried and she has a right to be concerned because well, she's a mum! Why not suggest that she stay in a hotel room nearby and then she'll be there if you need her and she can phone you if she gets worried. She can help you unpack and find your way around uni, but then you avoid the embarressment of having her around all the time.
Give her a big hug and confirm that you'll be ok. That's a sweet story and personally I think my mum was glad to get in the car and have my dad put the peddle to the metal. Hehe.
Oh Jesus, I always feared I'd be put in your situation when I moved in but thankfully the situation never arose..
Oh my God, that's just wrong. You have to tell her, you're not being ungrateful.
Original post by Powersymphonia
In my whole time at University, I never heard one example of a parent staying in a student halls of residence or flat. I think you're mum's just worried and she has a right to be concerned because well, she's a mum! Why not suggest that she stay in a hotel room nearby and then she'll be there if you need her and she can phone you if she gets worried. She can help you unpack and find your way around uni, but then you avoid the embarressment of having her around all the time.
She means well but really doesn't seem to realise that it will do more harm than good. I've tried to convince her to stay overnight somewhere else so fingers crossed. Sometimes though theres no reasoning with parents.
Original post by sa00109102
Give her a big hug and confirm that you'll be ok. That's a sweet story and personally I think my mum was glad to get in the car and have my dad put the peddle to the metal. Hehe.
It is sweet but honestly I would much rather have her leave once helping me so I can mingle with the other students. Knowing my luck this will not happen because I'll feel guilty saying this over and over again.
Original post by marcus2001
Oh Jesus, I always feared I'd be put in your situation when I moved in but thankfully the situation never arose..
You're so lucky that you didn't go through it. I thought I wouldn't but alas here I am.
i feel so sorry for you
Original post by ChocoCoatedLemons
Oh my God, that's just wrong. You have to tell her, you're not being ungrateful.
I've tried to tell her but she thinks that I'm going to need all night basically needing help to settle in and gets a bit iffy when I say that I don't need her help for that long. I don't know, my life just sucks sometimes (hello pity party) and I think it seems that I'm being unappreciative but I appreciate the people on here understanding where I'm coming from. May show her these comments.
I feel sorry for me too.
Original post by feministgrrrl123
I've tried to tell her but she thinks that I'm going to need all night basically needing help to settle in and gets a bit iffy when I say that I don't need her help for that long. I don't know, my life just sucks sometimes (hello pity party) and I think it seems that I'm being unappreciative but I appreciate the people on here understanding where I'm coming from. May show her these comments.
Just show her the comments and, if it comes down to it, just tell her that she's not staying over no matter what. Honestly, you're never going to get to repeat moving in so get it right and don't let your mother hang around. It'll look bad and you'll feel very awkward trying to bond with your new housemates.
A moments silence is due for our sister.... the OP.
Original post by ChocoCoatedLemons
Just show her the comments and, if it comes down to it, just tell her that she's not staying over no matter what. Honestly, you're never going to get to repeat moving in so get it right and don't let your mother hang around. It'll look bad and you'll feel very awkward trying to bond with your new housemates.
Honestly I will not let her stay over and I know she's going to feel bad but I just can't have that bad label stuck with me for the rest of the year. Hopefully I'll get all my stuff ready and sorted quickly and once she sees that I'm fine then will go stay overnight somewhere else. Wish me luck.
Original post by Proflash
stand your ground if you dont want her to stay?
Yeah but I feel bad really easily about constantly staying no. I will stand my ground but whether she listens is another matter. I don't think she will stay but still pray that I don't have to suffer that embarrassment aha
Original post by James A
A moments silence is due for our sister.... the OP.
Just wish me luck otherwise my uni life will be over before it's began.
Don't show her the comments here, unless it gets really bad.
Just go to her calmly and be like all sweet. Like mum ily so much for wanting to help me settle in, and you know ill always need you and I'm glad you'll be there to fall back on if I need you? But you're only a phone call or car journey away. I've spoken to some friends and they all say they're brothers and sisters who've went to uni never had their parents stay, they all said they just helped for a little before leaving, like everyone else's. I don't want to be awkward there, the only one who's parent stayed over! We will probably all go out partying the first night, or hang out and just chat in our floor. And I won't be able to if you're there, will I? So ik you mean well and iim glad you care so much, and I'm so lucky to have you, but you don't need to stay over! I need to grow up and I will. So you can come and help me unpack, we can get ssome lunch somewhere but then you need to come back home, so I can mingle with the people iongoing to be with for a whole 3 years?! If I don't hit it off on the first night, I never will.
Just go to her calmly and be like all sweet. Like mum ily so much for wanting to help me settle in, and you know ill always need you and I'm glad you'll be there to fall back on if I need you? But you're only a phone call or car journey away. I've spoken to some friends and they all say they're brothers and sisters who've went to uni never had their parents stay, they all said they just helped for a little before leaving, like everyone else's. I don't want to be awkward there, the only one who's parent stayed over! We will probably all go out partying the first night, or hang out and just chat in our floor. And I won't be able to if you're there, will I? So ik you mean well and iim glad you care so much, and I'm so lucky to have you, but you don't need to stay over! I need to grow up and I will. So you can come and help me unpack, we can get ssome lunch somewhere but then you need to come back home, so I can mingle with the people iongoing to be with for a whole 3 years?! If I don't hit it off on the first night, I never will.
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