Year 12s: what will be the first way you research your future options? >>

Real talk: are most people relationship cheats?

Scroll to see replies

And yet people get all moralistic about guys who have casual sex relationships and don't commit? It's a lot of hypocritical rubbish. I would rather be honest and open about how I conduct my casual relationships than sneak around like a coward in a 'committed' relationship. I personally am a commitment-phobe coward, and it is the best coward to be imo considering how insidious those types of people you just described are.

I agree, and I think women are more likely to be culprits here, but its also probably because being in a relationship is a more important thing socially amongst women, the ones that are single always feel left out. Also if a woman is going from guy to guy whilst not in a relationship she will get viewed negatively by her peers.

I also think quite a lot of people are selfish and view relationships as what they can get from another person. For them being in a relationship offers a safe fallback position, they always have someone there for them when they want it, but if they are in a situation (especially LDR etc) where their partner isn't able to monitor them easily, they can shop around the market a bit with confidence knowing that if there's nothing there for them, they always have their partner to fall back on.

Long term relationships are difficult when you're young and in social environments where there's a lot of access to the opposite sex because if you are reasonably popular with the opposite sex (ie get attention, have lots of friends of the opposite sex) then you wonder, if I was single, what would it be like?, you can get curious about how it would be to experiment with different people. Sometimes people try and keep their relationship going whilst doing a bit of illicit experimentation but a more common variation of this IMO is where someone triggers a break up so they can play the field, but secretly they hope their ex partner will still be there waiting if they want to get back together: which is why it's good news if the ex partner seems very distraught about it and why sometimes people who initiate a break up, get very unsettled if their ex partner finds someone else quite quickly. In this case I think its men who are more likely to play this game, I've seen it with some of my mates. They dump their girl but then work on 'managing' her, throwing a few bones out like "you know I still love you really", randomly reappearing in her life and being flirty, getting her presents etc to keep the idea in her head that they might get back together. Then either when they've played the field and had their fun, or (more commonly) found that they didn't have as much success with other girls as they hoped, they say they've missed her and want to get back together etc. If she finds someone else in the meantime this can cause outbreaks of rage and accusations that "the relationship obviously didn't mean anything then if you go and find someone else so fast?"