Nervous about meeting my boyfriend after a break… he hurt me but we have plans

I think if you really do like him it would be good to talk in person, but even just the fact he thought that was okay and how it sounds like he’s justifying his actions are a massive red flag. Personally, I don’t think I could look past that unless he acknowledged his fault directly, and how it made you feel. It sounds like a really selfish thing to do, and depending on your guy’s relationship it could be good to talk it through, but keep in mind you are your number one and it’s not your job to fix him or deal with his insecurities.

Thank you this is solid advice. Just to be clear he definitely didn’t think it was okay but he said he acted out a few times in the moment and immediately apologised and tried to explain it wasn’t with intent to cheat but more him being an idiot out of fear and anger

Anyway I’m back now and meeting him for the first time in 2 months, I don’t know how to feel though. I cant decide whether this is forgivable or not because he didn’t do this out of intentions to cheat but more insecurity which was admittedly immature. How would be best to handle the situation in person? Things to ask? I don’t know how to approach it because I wanna move past it but it’s so hard how does he even prove I can trust him again?

Best thing for you to do is to put this incident to one side and for you to not mention it when you see him.

Any advice would be great! I’ve been travelling europe with my friend and during that time I found out my bf had been messaging a girl a few months back during a rough patch of us. He’s made it very clear that he didn’t actually have intentions to date anyone else (I can tell) but it was his way of “getting back at me” kinda to prove to himself that other girls find him attractive cos our relationship was on the rocks. Even though he didn’t cheat I felt so hurt and betrayed.

Anyway I’m back now and meeting him for the first time in 2 months, I don’t know how to feel though. I cant decide whether this is forgivable or not because he didn’t do this out of intentions to cheat but more insecurity which was admittedly immature. How would be best to handle the situation in person? Things to ask? I don’t know how to approach it because I wanna move past it but it’s so hard how does he even prove I can trust him again?

Communication is key in a relationship, so why would the OP not discuss how her boyfriend failed to talk to her, and thereby do the same thing?

You don't brush pettiness and disloyalty to one side and carry on like its all ok; that can create resentment and more issues in the future.

Communication in a relationship is important. But it's not as important as other things. Such as picking the right person in the first place. How you behave in a relationship. NB how you behave is important because you can control that. You can't control how the other person behaves. You can - at best - influence them. Which is why picking the right person is so important. Another key is ending a relationship as soon as it becomes apparent that the relationship is not worth continuing.

And then within communication, effective communication is better than ineffective communication. And productive communication is better than destructive communication.

The original post says "He’s made it very clear that he didn’t actually have intentions to date anyone else " Which indicates the boyfriend has already discussed this issue with the original poster. If the original poster were to bring up the topic again, how is the boyfriend likely to feel and react? Chances of a productive and effective discussion of the matter are almost nil. Chances of creating bad blood; very high.

In a relationship it's a great principle to be forgiving of the other person's faults and mistakes. To be tolerant. To not go on about negative stuff.
Discussing the boyfriend texting another girl is fine if the Original Poster (OP) does it once. And then the OP should shut up about it. It might be a last straw that breaks the camel's back of the relationship, in which case the OP should dump him now. Or it might be the first fly in the soup. In which case the OP should shut up about it for the next 6 months.