How to clear childhood weirdness from my memory? (May be disturbing)
OK, this is really weird but I have to confess the following as a probably autistic boy growing up --
- I used to wee out of the window in my room and thought this was 'normal'. I LITERALLY took out my weiner to the WHOLE WORLD -- I think there were like 10 houses that could see me do this.
- Used the external part of my window as a freezer for my water bottles and chocolate.
- Used to dare my friend to put his weiner into the computer CPU and do other inappropriate things for 'fun'.
- Used to be interested in the anatomy of the foreskin when I first came to England as other weiners looked different from mine.
I really want to FORMAT my childhood because it was so awfully weird and abused overall. What should I do?
I am getting CBT but some of the things I've done were just creepy/weird and I don't want to mention them to someone in person.
- I used to wee out of the window in my room and thought this was 'normal'. I LITERALLY took out my weiner to the WHOLE WORLD -- I think there were like 10 houses that could see me do this.
- Used the external part of my window as a freezer for my water bottles and chocolate.
- Used to dare my friend to put his weiner into the computer CPU and do other inappropriate things for 'fun'.
- Used to be interested in the anatomy of the foreskin when I first came to England as other weiners looked different from mine.
I really want to FORMAT my childhood because it was so awfully weird and abused overall. What should I do?
I am getting CBT but some of the things I've done were just creepy/weird and I don't want to mention them to someone in person.
Scroll to see replies
How about getting some therapy?
Im not sure if you mean youre autistic, or have an autistic spectrum disorder (ASD) like aspergers. I dont know much about autism, but i have aspergers syndrome (AS) so i know about that. tbh, most people do weird stuff when theyre kids, regardless of autism of any kind.
The thing is, they either forget it, or dont talk about it.
Want to find out how widespread weirdness in childhood is? Ask about "weird things your siblings did when little?" youll get a slew of funny tales, cos people wont mind dissing their brother for eating catfood, or their sister for trying to pee standing up, every day for 6 months or whatever.
Also: give yourself a break. Bodies are weird full stop. I did weird stuff, the guy over there did, most people did. Some still do : )
As we grow up, even before puberty, we spend a lot of tine trying to figure out how bodies work.
Personally, i think that cos people with ASDs have to try to understand *so much* of life, we start habitually analysing everything we come across. We tend to try to figure out everything, & sometimes this can be obsessive or weird. Conversely, in adulthood, this is often useful as thats where a lot of science comes from (literally there are an over abundance of aspergers scientists innovating away~ even steve jobs & bill gates have/ had AS). It makes us innovators as we can look at things differently, break conventions.
My sister stuck marbles up her arse and had to go to a&e. She was 4 (two different occasions, too, ha ha. Both times she said she "slipped and fell").
Banned from chewing gum when we were little my sister (aged 2 or 3) used to pick it off the pavement and eat it.
Im not telling you weird stuff i did : )
Peeimg out a window is not too strange~ LOADS of kids flash in this way; some boys are really penis obsessed. Gosh, some still are as adults.
Your stuff sounds "more weird" cos it involves things which are less socially acceptable; peeing, & genitals. Still comes under the same category of 'weird things kids do': i honestly dont think its anything major to worry about.
What trips over into super weirdness is the way autism/AS can make us understand it differently, often obsess over it at the time or later.
One of my mates told me in puberty he started trying to see what weight his erections could hold. Ive asked bfs & most of them have also tried it (something they said theyre more likeky to tell a trusted gf than other guys) but one bf totally freaked out and was horrified by the idea. I thought it was kinda cool, & very funny!!
In my experience, talking to peers ( online or in rl) often deflates this kind of anxiety, whereas shrinks overanalyse the crap out of everything, & are still freud fixated &
will fill your head with crap notions.
Nothing youve said sounds worrying or abnormal.
If you were anused as a child that is indeed very different, & you should certainly seek help.
But though its a complex thing to discuss, children certainly do have kind of sexual feelings & interests before puberty (btw, im in NO WAY saying adults should sexualise kids); just that kids can be really over interested in their own, or their friend's bits.
I dont know what else youre concerned by, of course, but from this post alone, you main problem seems to be your anxiety that you were "weird" years ago. Kids do weird stuff. Its normal.
If you were abused, deal with that, but being interested in foreskins is not weird if you came from the US, and obsessing over it sounds a pretty autistic way of understanding something which is confusing both rationally & emotionally (emotionally cos you may have felt upset about being different but embarrassed to ask about it etc).
And yeah, using terms like i want to format my childhood sounds really AS.
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The thing is, they either forget it, or dont talk about it.
Want to find out how widespread weirdness in childhood is? Ask about "weird things your siblings did when little?" youll get a slew of funny tales, cos people wont mind dissing their brother for eating catfood, or their sister for trying to pee standing up, every day for 6 months or whatever.
Also: give yourself a break. Bodies are weird full stop. I did weird stuff, the guy over there did, most people did. Some still do : )
As we grow up, even before puberty, we spend a lot of tine trying to figure out how bodies work.
Personally, i think that cos people with ASDs have to try to understand *so much* of life, we start habitually analysing everything we come across. We tend to try to figure out everything, & sometimes this can be obsessive or weird. Conversely, in adulthood, this is often useful as thats where a lot of science comes from (literally there are an over abundance of aspergers scientists innovating away~ even steve jobs & bill gates have/ had AS). It makes us innovators as we can look at things differently, break conventions.
My sister stuck marbles up her arse and had to go to a&e. She was 4 (two different occasions, too, ha ha. Both times she said she "slipped and fell").
Banned from chewing gum when we were little my sister (aged 2 or 3) used to pick it off the pavement and eat it.
Im not telling you weird stuff i did : )
Peeimg out a window is not too strange~ LOADS of kids flash in this way; some boys are really penis obsessed. Gosh, some still are as adults.
Your stuff sounds "more weird" cos it involves things which are less socially acceptable; peeing, & genitals. Still comes under the same category of 'weird things kids do': i honestly dont think its anything major to worry about.
What trips over into super weirdness is the way autism/AS can make us understand it differently, often obsess over it at the time or later.
One of my mates told me in puberty he started trying to see what weight his erections could hold. Ive asked bfs & most of them have also tried it (something they said theyre more likeky to tell a trusted gf than other guys) but one bf totally freaked out and was horrified by the idea. I thought it was kinda cool, & very funny!!
In my experience, talking to peers ( online or in rl) often deflates this kind of anxiety, whereas shrinks overanalyse the crap out of everything, & are still freud fixated &
will fill your head with crap notions.
Nothing youve said sounds worrying or abnormal.
If you were anused as a child that is indeed very different, & you should certainly seek help.
But though its a complex thing to discuss, children certainly do have kind of sexual feelings & interests before puberty (btw, im in NO WAY saying adults should sexualise kids); just that kids can be really over interested in their own, or their friend's bits.
I dont know what else youre concerned by, of course, but from this post alone, you main problem seems to be your anxiety that you were "weird" years ago. Kids do weird stuff. Its normal.
If you were abused, deal with that, but being interested in foreskins is not weird if you came from the US, and obsessing over it sounds a pretty autistic way of understanding something which is confusing both rationally & emotionally (emotionally cos you may have felt upset about being different but embarrassed to ask about it etc).
And yeah, using terms like i want to format my childhood sounds really AS.
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Original post by Malmö
Im not sure if you mean youre autistic, or have an autistic spectrum disorder (ASD) like aspergers. I dont know much about autism, but i have aspergers syndrome (AS) so i know about that. tbh, most people do weird stuff when theyre kids, regardless of autism of any kind.
The thing is, they either forget it, or dont talk about it.
Want to find out how widespread weirdness in childhood is? Ask about "weird things your siblings did when little?" youll get a slew of funny tales, cos people wont mind dissing their brother for eating catfood, or their sister for trying to pee standing up, every day for 6 months or whatever.
Also: give yourself a break. Bodies are weird full stop. I did weird stuff, the guy over there did, most people did. Some still do : )
As we grow up, even before puberty, we spend a lot of tine trying to figure out how bodies work.
Personally, i think that cos people with ASDs have to try to understand *so much* of life, we start habitually analysing everything we come across. We tend to try to figure out everything, & sometimes this can be obsessive or weird. Conversely, in adulthood, this is often useful as thats where a lot of science comes from (literally there are an over abundance of aspergers scientists innovating away~ even steve jobs & bill gates have/ had AS). It makes us innovators as we can look at things differently, break conventions.
My sister stuck marbles up her arse and had to go to a&e. She was 4 (two different occasions, too, ha ha. Both times she said she "slipped and fell").
Banned from chewing gum when we were little my sister (aged 2 or 3) used to pick it off the pavement and eat it.
Im not telling you weird stuff i did : )
Peeimg out a window is not too strange~ LOADS of kids flash in this way; some boys are really penis obsessed. Gosh, some still are as adults.
Your stuff sounds "more weird" cos it involves things which are less socially acceptable; peeing, & genitals. Still comes under the same category of 'weird things kids do': i honestly dont think its anything major to worry about.
What trips over into super weirdness is the way autism/AS can make us understand it differently, often obsess over it at the time or later.
One of my mates told me in puberty he started trying to see what weight his erections could hold. Ive asked bfs & most of them have also tried it (something they said theyre more likeky to tell a trusted gf than other guys) but one bf totally freaked out and was horrified by the idea. I thought it was kinda cool, & very funny!!
In my experience, talking to peers ( online or in rl) often deflates this kind of anxiety, whereas shrinks overanalyse the crap out of everything, & are still freud fixated &
will fill your head with crap notions.
Nothing youve said sounds worrying or abnormal.
If you were anused as a child that is indeed very different, & you should certainly seek help.
But though its a complex thing to discuss, children certainly do have kind of sexual feelings & interests before puberty (btw, im in NO WAY saying adults should sexualise kids); just that kids can be really over interested in their own, or their friend's bits.
I dont know what else youre concerned by, of course, but from this post alone, you main problem seems to be your anxiety that you were "weird" years ago. Kids do weird stuff. Its normal.
If you were abused, deal with that, but being interested in foreskins is not weird if you came from the US, and obsessing over it sounds a pretty autistic way of understanding something which is confusing both rationally & emotionally (emotionally cos you may have felt upset about being different but embarrassed to ask about it etc).
And yeah, using terms like i want to format my childhood sounds really AS.
Posted from TSR Mobile
The thing is, they either forget it, or dont talk about it.
Want to find out how widespread weirdness in childhood is? Ask about "weird things your siblings did when little?" youll get a slew of funny tales, cos people wont mind dissing their brother for eating catfood, or their sister for trying to pee standing up, every day for 6 months or whatever.
Also: give yourself a break. Bodies are weird full stop. I did weird stuff, the guy over there did, most people did. Some still do : )
As we grow up, even before puberty, we spend a lot of tine trying to figure out how bodies work.
Personally, i think that cos people with ASDs have to try to understand *so much* of life, we start habitually analysing everything we come across. We tend to try to figure out everything, & sometimes this can be obsessive or weird. Conversely, in adulthood, this is often useful as thats where a lot of science comes from (literally there are an over abundance of aspergers scientists innovating away~ even steve jobs & bill gates have/ had AS). It makes us innovators as we can look at things differently, break conventions.
My sister stuck marbles up her arse and had to go to a&e. She was 4 (two different occasions, too, ha ha. Both times she said she "slipped and fell").
Banned from chewing gum when we were little my sister (aged 2 or 3) used to pick it off the pavement and eat it.
Im not telling you weird stuff i did : )
Peeimg out a window is not too strange~ LOADS of kids flash in this way; some boys are really penis obsessed. Gosh, some still are as adults.
Your stuff sounds "more weird" cos it involves things which are less socially acceptable; peeing, & genitals. Still comes under the same category of 'weird things kids do': i honestly dont think its anything major to worry about.
What trips over into super weirdness is the way autism/AS can make us understand it differently, often obsess over it at the time or later.
One of my mates told me in puberty he started trying to see what weight his erections could hold. Ive asked bfs & most of them have also tried it (something they said theyre more likeky to tell a trusted gf than other guys) but one bf totally freaked out and was horrified by the idea. I thought it was kinda cool, & very funny!!
In my experience, talking to peers ( online or in rl) often deflates this kind of anxiety, whereas shrinks overanalyse the crap out of everything, & are still freud fixated &
will fill your head with crap notions.
Nothing youve said sounds worrying or abnormal.
If you were anused as a child that is indeed very different, & you should certainly seek help.
But though its a complex thing to discuss, children certainly do have kind of sexual feelings & interests before puberty (btw, im in NO WAY saying adults should sexualise kids); just that kids can be really over interested in their own, or their friend's bits.
I dont know what else youre concerned by, of course, but from this post alone, you main problem seems to be your anxiety that you were "weird" years ago. Kids do weird stuff. Its normal.
If you were abused, deal with that, but being interested in foreskins is not weird if you came from the US, and obsessing over it sounds a pretty autistic way of understanding something which is confusing both rationally & emotionally (emotionally cos you may have felt upset about being different but embarrassed to ask about it etc).
And yeah, using terms like i want to format my childhood sounds really AS.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Thank you, your post made me feel better. You're funny also.
I'm sometimes like 'Oh dear, why the hell did I do that as a kid?! Was I insane?!' none of which I'm going to reveal to anyone because they make my head hurt to think of them. But the truth is, everyone does really messed up stuff as children. I just try not to think about anything that makes me feel embarassed and ashamed now. If anything really bothers you, I would mention it to the person doing your CBT. They'll be able to help you through it, and trust me they'll have heard worse.
Original post by Anonymous
I really want to FORMAT my childhood because it was so awfully weird and abused overall. What should I do?
I really want to FORMAT my childhood because it was so awfully weird and abused overall. What should I do?
Right click on Childhood, Click Format, don't tick the box for quick format.
(edited 9 years ago)
Hey : )
Honestly. No problem.
Do really start a post asking about weird stuff people/ their siblings did as kids.
You will get HILLARIOUS replies!!
Youre normal anyway, and if you have AS or whatever, still normal in terms of people *without* an ASD.
People really just dont talk about this stuff.
Our problem is we over think things. That has actually really ruined so many fun opportunities. AS can be a really ****ty tying to live with, and constantly worrying, over analysing, over thinking things makes it even worse.
The only eay i know of snapping out of it is to put a funny podcast/ tv show on.
I have ADHD too, so my attention can be grabbed in a helpful way for once!! Go and stick on the infinite monkey cage, or watch brooklyn nine nine or HH or something.
And seriously~ all boys and a ton of men obsess over their penises. Totally normal.
Fear not. Youre just a normal guy!!!
Xxx
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Honestly. No problem.
Do really start a post asking about weird stuff people/ their siblings did as kids.
You will get HILLARIOUS replies!!
Youre normal anyway, and if you have AS or whatever, still normal in terms of people *without* an ASD.
People really just dont talk about this stuff.
Our problem is we over think things. That has actually really ruined so many fun opportunities. AS can be a really ****ty tying to live with, and constantly worrying, over analysing, over thinking things makes it even worse.
The only eay i know of snapping out of it is to put a funny podcast/ tv show on.
I have ADHD too, so my attention can be grabbed in a helpful way for once!! Go and stick on the infinite monkey cage, or watch brooklyn nine nine or HH or something.
And seriously~ all boys and a ton of men obsess over their penises. Totally normal.
Fear not. Youre just a normal guy!!!
Xxx
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It's not uncommon. In nursery school I would come back from the bathroom with my pants around my ankles and penis out. Because it was funny to watch the teachers panic.
We all so weird stuff.
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We all so weird stuff.
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@ jebedee
Ha ha ha!! Thats ace. Thank you for cheering up my saturday!!
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Ha ha ha!! Thats ace. Thank you for cheering up my saturday!!
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No problem. I think I had half the teachers in the school my pants and trousers up at some point.
I sure didn't make life easy for them that's for sure :-D
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I sure didn't make life easy for them that's for sure :-D
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I doff my hat to you, sir.
I too was a rabble rouser from an early age :P
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I too was a rabble rouser from an early age :P
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- What you did as a kid is irrelevant to the person you are becoming and the person that you are now. When I say this, obviously ALL of our experiences influence us, but we also influence ourselves and influence others all the time, and we can influence ourselves to behave in entirely new ways that have nothing to do with our childhood at all.
- Don't try to forget memories in some kind of weird hypnotic thing; there's no point trying to create some amnesia. You did it, you can remember it, fine. See if you can accept the memories coming into your mind with a sense of open curiosity and detachment. Open curiosity in that you're not pushing the thoughts away, you're exploring them, but detachment from a sense that you know the past is the past and you are beyond that now.
- Mindfulness - I keep recommending this book but that is because it is SO GOOD. "Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Finding Peace in a Frantic World" by Mark Williams & Danny Penman. It's a really good book with a CD and an eight week course. This will be a really good thing to invest in and to spend time and effort cultivating.
Remember - you are who you are becoming, not who you used to be.
The past is only accessed through the present. The present moment is the only real thing now. That mindfulness book will help with that understanding on a profound level. Also, check out Eckhart Tolle's videos and possibly his book "The Power of Now", but bear in mind he's a bit spiritual and some would argue a bit 'wacky'. The point is, he has really good points. Oh, and "Untethered Soul" by Michael A. Singer is a REALLY good book. These two recommendations are spiritual books coming from an atheist, so bear in mind the spiritual stuff may not appeal to you, but the insights and common sense of most of it will. You'll just have to ignore some of the more crazy claims if you're not into that
All the best with this. Last warning: don't be fooled into hiring some Freudian therapist that regresses you and tries to find meaning in your childhood or something, it's pointless and not worth your time at all.
- Don't try to forget memories in some kind of weird hypnotic thing; there's no point trying to create some amnesia. You did it, you can remember it, fine. See if you can accept the memories coming into your mind with a sense of open curiosity and detachment. Open curiosity in that you're not pushing the thoughts away, you're exploring them, but detachment from a sense that you know the past is the past and you are beyond that now.
- Mindfulness - I keep recommending this book but that is because it is SO GOOD. "Mindfulness: A Practical Guide to Finding Peace in a Frantic World" by Mark Williams & Danny Penman. It's a really good book with a CD and an eight week course. This will be a really good thing to invest in and to spend time and effort cultivating.
Remember - you are who you are becoming, not who you used to be.
The past is only accessed through the present. The present moment is the only real thing now. That mindfulness book will help with that understanding on a profound level. Also, check out Eckhart Tolle's videos and possibly his book "The Power of Now", but bear in mind he's a bit spiritual and some would argue a bit 'wacky'. The point is, he has really good points. Oh, and "Untethered Soul" by Michael A. Singer is a REALLY good book. These two recommendations are spiritual books coming from an atheist, so bear in mind the spiritual stuff may not appeal to you, but the insights and common sense of most of it will. You'll just have to ignore some of the more crazy claims if you're not into that
All the best with this. Last warning: don't be fooled into hiring some Freudian therapist that regresses you and tries to find meaning in your childhood or something, it's pointless and not worth your time at all.
none of the things you said were weird.
the CPU one well a little but at least you realise they are a bit weird
the CPU one well a little but at least you realise they are a bit weird
Boys are definitely obsessed with penises. My dad once lent me and my brother his video camera. Me and my friend made a video of us singing and dancing and just playing around. My brother and his friend made a short video of them peeing into the toilet 
Original post by Anonymous
Boys are definitely obsessed with penises. My dad once lent me and my brother his video camera. Me and my friend made a video of us singing and dancing and just playing around. My brother and his friend made a short video of them peeing into the toilet
Actually I was obsessed with boobs. Me and a friend at eight years old knew next to nothing about sex, but unlike mine, his parents wouldn't watch much TV so we could go watch it late at night, there was one porn channel. Obviously they didn't offer hardcore porn on TV back then, it was only soft core so the only thing visible was boobs.
This gave us the impression that boobs (licking them) was some sort of integral part of sex and completely necessary. We would talk about boobs all the time and our desire to lick them.
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Original post by Jebedee
Actually I was obsessed with boobs. Me and a friend at eight years old knew next to nothing about sex, but unlike mine, his parents wouldn't watch much TV so we could go watch it late at night, there was one porn channel. Obviously they didn't offer hardcore porn on TV back then, it was only soft core so the only thing visible was boobs.
This gave us the impression that boobs (licking them) was some sort of integral part of sex and completely necessary. We would talk about boobs all the time and our desire to lick them.
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This gave us the impression that boobs (licking them) was some sort of integral part of sex and completely necessary. We would talk about boobs all the time and our desire to lick them.
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Haha, that's cute!
I was obsessed with boobs, although I'm a girl. Me and my friends used to draw bikinis and make up on all the Page 3 girls in my parents copy of The Sun, and once when I was around 12 got into a weird discussion about how Jordan had so many boob jobs and concluded that by now she must have had clips installed so she could change her size depending on the day. And then there may have been a diagram drawn to clarify our idea...Original post by Anonymous
Haha, that's cute! I was obsessed with boobs, although I'm a girl. Me and my friends used to draw bikinis and make up on all the Page 3 girls in my parents copy of The Sun, and once when I was around 12 got into a weird discussion about how Jordan had so many boob jobs and concluded that by now she must have had clips installed so she could change her size depending on the day. And then there may have been a diagram drawn to clarify our idea...
I was obsessed with boobs, although I'm a girl. Me and my friends used to draw bikinis and make up on all the Page 3 girls in my parents copy of The Sun, and once when I was around 12 got into a weird discussion about how Jordan had so many boob jobs and concluded that by now she must have had clips installed so she could change her size depending on the day. And then there may have been a diagram drawn to clarify our idea...I recommend you take out a patent on that before it's too late!
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Original post by Anonymous
OK, this is really weird but I have to confess the following as a probably autistic boy growing up --
- I used to wee out of the window in my room and thought this was 'normal'. I LITERALLY took out my weiner to the WHOLE WORLD -- I think there were like 10 houses that could see me do this.
- Used the external part of my window as a freezer for my water bottles and chocolate.
- Used to dare my friend to put his weiner into the computer CPU and do other inappropriate things for 'fun'.
- Used to be interested in the anatomy of the foreskin when I first came to England as other weiners looked different from mine.
I really want to FORMAT my childhood because it was so awfully weird and abused overall. What should I do?
I am getting CBT but some of the things I've done were just creepy/weird and I don't want to mention them to someone in person.
- I used to wee out of the window in my room and thought this was 'normal'. I LITERALLY took out my weiner to the WHOLE WORLD -- I think there were like 10 houses that could see me do this.
- Used the external part of my window as a freezer for my water bottles and chocolate.
- Used to dare my friend to put his weiner into the computer CPU and do other inappropriate things for 'fun'.
- Used to be interested in the anatomy of the foreskin when I first came to England as other weiners looked different from mine.
I really want to FORMAT my childhood because it was so awfully weird and abused overall. What should I do?
I am getting CBT but some of the things I've done were just creepy/weird and I don't want to mention them to someone in person.
No offence or anything. But this is jokes. Can't you just pass it off as some fun time?
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