Help with gcse poem comparison

Hi, coul I please get feedback on my comparison poem please. The question was, compare how the power of memories is presented in kamikaze and one other poem.
PART 1: in both poem kamikaze (k) and poppies (p), the power of memory is presented through vivid imagery. However, 'k' explores the conflicting thoughts and feelings brought by memories and nostalgia whilst 'p' focuses on emotive language and a consistent tone full of grievance and mourning.PARAGRAPH 1: in the poem kamikaze garland explores conflicting emotions between a father and daughter brought on by memories and nostalgia. The poem begins with "Her father embarked at sunrise" immediately juxtaposing ideas are presented, 'sunrise' suggesting a new day or a new sense of living. However the verb 'embarked' indicates the opposite, which we learn is the pilots like coming to an end. Furthermore, the pilots is described to be "Full of powerful incantations" meaning strong ideas - he was full of propaganda and cultural conditioning, ready to die. Inspite of this, when the pilot looks down and "remembered how hea and his brothers... built cairns" which is the first example of a memory powerful enough to override manipulation. This is seen to be taking effect when patriotic references reduce. "Strung out like Bunting on a green - blue translucent sea." this similie is another example of conflicting thoughts "Bunting" celebrating his honourable sacrifice "Green... sea" uses vivid imagery to represent natures thoughts contradicting 'powerful incantations'. The sea also plays an important part triggering memories such as his "grandfatgers boat -safe" Direct adress changes the narrator and focuse on the daughters memories, beginning a guilty tone. "Till gradually we too learned" indication an explanation on how manipulation begins, futhering the guilt memories can bringPARAGRAPH 2: similarly in poem 'p' we see conflicting emotions between a mother and son. the mother who is reminded of her sons childhood memories, having "a play at being Eskimos" the verb 'play' has connotation of childhood and innocence, seen similarly in 'k'. However p focuses on the physical effects of war rather then the psychological, which is seen in the beginning of the poem "three days before armistice sunday" setting the poem up for a mournful tone. The adverb 'before' shows the mother still hasn't gotten over his death whilst everyone else has. p and k are both free verse poems for different reasons. p allows you to become a part of the mothers memories whilst k has 6 lines per stanza within the free verse. This symbolises the father seeking freedom from the manipulation and tight control of military and honour.CONCLUSION: in conclusion, both poems similarly explore themes of memories and their power nostalgia and effects of war through various methods such as similies metaphors and imagery. The poems differ in the overall meaning. P explores it main them of remembrance, written to convey powerful emotions from a grieving mother, highlighting that no one is safe from war. K guides us through a mourningful tone, ending in a metaphorical death which is all explored through both negative and positive emotions.

I think you don't need to focus too much on the title of the poems, like the 'k' and 'p' analysis. For power of memories, I would say that both Kamikaze and Poppies are used by the poets to criticise the pessimistic effects of conflict from different perspectives: the soldier in 'Kamikaze' and the mother as the outsider in 'Poppies'. They both depict how the power of memories is puissant in an opposite way. Kamikaze portrays how the power of memories as life-saving by bringing up the meanings of life to go against the power of culture and honour in the soldier's mind. You can use the quote "built cairns of pearl-grey pebbles". Poppies conveys how the power of memories as tormenting and weakening the speaker because she cannot cope without her son. You can use the quote " all my words rolled, flattened, turned into felt". And then develop into something else.
Overall, I think your analysis is quite good yet you can develop more language analysis by zooming in on words. You can also talk more about the purposes of the poets and constantly link ti back to the question.