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How to get over someone who doesn't like you back?

I really like my guy best friend. I haven't told him but I know he doesn't feel the same way. It's really painful. I can't lose him because he is an important part of my life but I don't want this to get in the way of our friendship. I don't want to be jealous every time he gets with some new girl. It's just really getting me down and I don't know what to do. I am scared that my feelings will just grow stronger. It's such an awful feeling.

It's so ironic that the one person I would usually talk to about this is the one person I just can't in this situation... him.

Reply 1

NooNoo1

don't worry....i was in the exact same position as you a few weeks ago but i realised that having him as a friend is much better than being in a relationship with him because if the relationship gets messed up then that is your friendship gone.....if i were you i would just move on from him and talk to other guys....how do you know he doesn't like you back?

Reply 2

Starfruit

I'm in exactly the same position as well.

The first thing I did was to cry - a lot. I just cried on my own in bed for a while and felt way better afterwards - once you acknowledge the feelings it's much easier to try and move on from them.

What I'm doing is just trying to accept that it's not going to be anything more than a friendship - and then appreciating it for the friendship that it is, and trying not to hope for anything in addition to that. The hardest part is not reading into his actions to see if there's anything more than friendship on his side - but if you are confident that he doesn't like you back, then you're already through with one of the hardest bits, as there's no false hope to battle.

What made me feel better is to consider how bad I'd feel if we weren't even friends. That was so good for me because it made me realise how lucky I was to have what we DO have anyway - so that way you can see the positives of the situation. At least he's your best friend - imagine if you'd never met him at all.

I also agree with the poster above me - friendship is far more likely to last and not turn sour than a relationship.
I'm trying to think like this with my friend - at least I'll still most likely be friends with him in 20 years, whereas I'd be unlikely to still be in a relationship with him in 20 years.

I hope you can begin to think this way too - but I understand how hard it is, and these past few months really have been awful for me at least. If you want to PM me about it I'd be very happy to lend a sympathetic ear if you need to talk to someone in the same situation :')

I hope it gets better for you.

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

I'm in exactly the same position and was wondering the same today - thank god I found your thread!

The good/bad thing is that he knows about how I feel.

He's got a gf, but a month or two ago admitted he had some feelings for me. That kinda screwed me up and gave me false hope. Today though he told me that he thinks of me as a sister which hurt like **** but at least now, (like the poster above said) I can try and stop reading into his actions and stop getting false hope.
Hopefully I can move on and get over him :smile:

I think that you should find out how he feels about you first, and then try and get over him by accepting it is only gonna be a friendship and nothing more. Good luck