How do I stop caring about what my parents think and live my own life?

I am 22, and feel like I am still a child. Every time I want to do something, my parents (well, my dad), puts me off by giving me a 'reality check', so I end up getting too nervous to do it and question everything.

For example, I wanted to go away to uni, but he told me that it wasn't practical because it's too expensive to live away from home, said realistically my only options were to commute. So, I ended up living at home and commuting and missing out on having a 'uni life'. Then, there's driving, I was going to learn then my dad started giving me a lecture on how expensive it is to run a car and how hard it is to get a license. So I have never even been behind the wheel.

I wanted to go work abroad, and he also put me off that by saying its not good for a girl to go abroad alone, and that I may be sold into human trafficking :confused:

So basically, I am living at home (only got a weekend job so can't move out), can't drive, and feel desperately pathetic, and all because I am too scared to go against my dad. How do I grow up and live life for me?

Reply 1

RHyoudon'kno

15

Next time he mentions money, ask him how you're gonna earn for the future without using any money to do anything.

Sounds over-protective. You need to be soft on him.

Reply 2

Sanctimonious

3

Original post by Anonymous

I am 22, and feel like I am still a child. Every time I want to do something, my parents (well, my dad), puts me off by giving me a 'reality check', so I end up getting too nervous to do it and question everything.

For example, I wanted to go away to uni, but he told me that it wasn't practical because it's too expensive to live away from home, said realistically my only options were to commute. So, I ended up living at home and commuting and missing out on having a 'uni life'. Then, there's driving, I was going to learn then my dad started giving me a lecture on how expensive it is to run a car and how hard it is to get a license. So I have never even been behind the wheel.

I wanted to go work abroad, and he also put me off that by saying its not good for a girl to go abroad alone, and that I may be sold into human trafficking :confused:

So basically, I am living at home (only got a weekend job so can't move out), can't drive, and feel desperately pathetic, and all because I am too scared to go against my dad. How do I grow up and live life for me?

Are you still in university? Do you enter second or third year this September? If so then move out into your own accommodation and use the loans/grants short term and try to find a job to boost your earnings.

Other than that its going to be very difficult whilst you're living under their roof. Its usually abide by their rules. Your dad though sounds like a bit of a control freak with a skewed view of the world in a negative light. If you keep worrying about such things in this way its not a good thing. He's only going to restrict you further.

The sooner you just move out and do it the better. I told my parents I was moving out. They didn't want me to do it and didn't think I'd get by if I did. I did it anyway and then their perception of my ability to cope in the world alone changed massively. One thing I will say though, is once you move home you will gain freedoms you never had at home and going back to live with parents after experiencing these freedoms is pretty hard so make sure its definitely what you want.

You're 22 and they can't stop you. The only thing that will stop you is money and if you provide for yourself and can get by, what can they do? All they risk doing is pushing you away by being totally unreasonable.

How do I stop caring about what my parents think and live my own life?

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