feeling terrible guilt in relationship

This.

If you truly love her. Then marry her.

If she truly loves she will marry you.

17/18 isn't too young imo

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Dunno, don't want the marriage getting in the way of your A Levels. Plus if she's still 17 he'll need her parents permission unless he goes to Gretna.

Reply 21

Heimdall

15

Original post by Alumna

exactly if they are old enough to get intimate
then they should grow some courage in their faith especially

clearly they don't love each other as they say they do if this guy needs to come on the internet to vent about something he should be talking to his girl about

but as a girl if i wanna marry a guy and he want to marry me then there is nothing holding us back unless we mentioned something is

I agree 100% with what you're saying, if you feel like mature to have sex then in my opinion this is mature enough to be married, obviously different societies have different norms so it's not the same in different cultures.

Depends on the age, there is something which is too young in terms of maturity, and the law has to be taken in account but aside from that, if you're ready you are ready.

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Reply 22

themorninglight

10

What's happened has happened. Now you need to repent and rectify the situation. You have several options: Either get married, continue seeing each other within the boundaries of Islam (until you can get married), or just stay away from her completely. You're both mature and legally able to get married so if you feel strongly about her then just go for it. If you didn't think you were mature enough to get married then you shouldn't have done what you did. Do the right thing and sort things out between you two.

One solution is to do some people do which is sign the marriage contract but still stay living with your parents and get on with studying etc, sort of like a halal boyfriend-girlfriend kinda thing. I'm not sure about the details but it could work. Ask her what she thinks of it and speak to your parents about it too. Good luck :smile:

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 23

BestProfileName

11

Deal with it. Give it some time. Plenty of people are "in love" and "NO REALLY IT'S TRUE LOVE I WOULD DIE WITHOUT HER" in their teens only to find out that they were stupid to be so deluded, a few years after. Give it at least another 6 months before you plan anything.

Reply 24

Heimdall

15

Original post by themorninglight

What's happened has happened. Now you need to repent and rectify the situation. You have several options: Either get married, continue seeing each other within the boundaries of Islam (until you can get married), or just stay away from her completely. You're both mature and legally able to get married so if you feel strongly about her then just go for it. If you didn't think you were mature enough to get married then you shouldn't have done what you did. Do the right thing and sort things out between you two.

One solution is to do some people do which is sign the marriage contract but still stay living with your parents and get on with studying etc, sort of like a halal boyfriend-girlfriend kinda thing. I'm not sure about the details but it could work. Ask her what she thinks of it and speak to your parents about it too. Good luck :smile:

To sign the contracts, the girls parents at the least have to agree. And you need witnesses

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Reply 25

themorninglight

10

Original post by Mubariz

To sign the contracts, the girls parents at the least have to agree. And you need witnesses

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Well of course, I wasn't suggesting they do it without parental permission. Parents have to be involved.

Reply 26

beautifulxxx

15

If you love her, marry her. Even if you aren't financially stable she can live with parents till you're ready. As for the guilty part, Allah forgives our sins so just keep repenting. Don't make the mistake again, ask your lord for help and you'll be fine.

Reply 27

Heimdall

15

Original post by themorninglight

Well of course, I wasn't suggesting they do it without parental permission. Parents have to be involved.

Ah right, I just misinterpreted that.

That does seem reasonable but I have doubts many parents would be happy about that

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Reply 28

TransitStranger

Original post by Anonymous

I'm a 20 year old Muslim guy, this isn't a thread for you to come and bash my religion as I love my religion and would never change it. I've been with a girl who is also a Muslim for 12 months now and I want to marry this girl and she wants to get married to. She's 17 at the moment so she's too young to be thinking about marriage.

As it's Ramadan now I've been attending the mosque more regularly and also thinking about my past sins and how much I've let Allah down. I feel like I'm torn between this girl who I care a lot for, I would give my life for this girl, it's not just lust I assure you, I care about this girl a lot and would not hesitate to introduce her to my parents. We've done a lot together sexually but I don't want to go into details about that.

I cry when asking my God for forgiveness because I feel like I've let him down so much and I feel like **** about it. On the other hand I can't break this girls heart bcause she's the sweetest most honest and most loyal girl I've ever known and she truly is a blessing in my life and helped me through a very hard time in my life. I don't know why I'm writing this I have talked to her about it, and she's just as confused as I am as I've never mentioned this before but this month I guess has opened my eyes.

Is there anything that you could perhaps suggest, I can expect what the replies will be but I don't know I need someone to talk to about it. Thanks for reading

Since you say that you are asking for God's forgiveness and crying it shows that this can potentially be a very sincere repentance by which you're sins will/already be forgiven InShaaAllah (if you intend not to return back to sin obviously). The question now is whether you are ready to give her up for God's pleasure. Think of it like this, you can either make God happy or her happy and ultimately that decision boils down to who do you TRULY love more?
BUT there is also the option of keeping it Halal and still getting what you want by doing a the simple nikkah so that your relationship is legitimate in the sight of god so that you could continue with your relationship whilst at the same time living separately with you're own family and when you're financially capable you could do the whole wedding food/guests banquet etc. Some Muslim scholars (notably Haitham Al-Haddad) even recommend this sort of "friendship marriage" for people in young relationships who want to keep it Halal without financial burden.

feeling terrible guilt in relationship

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