How to cut down your personal statement?

Hey

My personal statement is currently 145 characters over, so it's not long enough for me to shorten it by rewriting everything, but not short enough to fit on UCAS either :/

Does anyone have any tips on cutting down these characters? Is it ok to use contractions such as 'I am' to 'I'm'? Any general advice?

Thanks a lot! :smile:

Reply 1

JamesJones777

14

Original post by Izzones

Hey

My personal statement is currently 145 characters over, so it's not long enough for me to shorten it by rewriting everything, but not short enough to fit on UCAS either :/

Does anyone have any tips on cutting down these characters? Is it ok to use contractions such as 'I am' to 'I'm'? Any general advice?

Thanks a lot! :smile:

I wouldn't use contractions in a personal statement, to me it looks informal.

Take out filler words if you can. Get someone else to read it to see if anything is unnecessary.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 2

Izzones

OP

4

Original post by JamesJones777

I wouldn't use contractions in a personal statement, to me it looks informal.

Take out filler words if you can. Get someone else to read it to see if anything is unnecessarily.

Thanks a lot for the advice! Yeah, I was worried about it sounding too informal :/ I've given it to one of my teachers so hopefully they will have some feedback for me soon. :smile:

Reply 3

Jumpout

2

Try writing in active active. It makes things concise and more exciting to read. But don't use contractions. It makes it informal and would not give the right impression.

Reply 4

returnmigrant

21

[Do not use contractions. Academic do not like them!]

Use short sentences. Look for any sentence that goes on a bit and look at how to shorten it. Do the same with long paragraphs.

Do not waffle or use flowery language that you wouldn't use in every day life. Cut out all the overblown adjectives like 'passionate' and 'excited'. Look at anything you realise is showing off.

Look closely at anything you've written about out-of-school activities or work experience. If you haven't explained (succinctly) why you've included it, cut it. 'I go to Ballet every Saturday' etc - who cares? why is this relevant? 'I did a week's work experience in a tax office' - so what? who cares?

Book reviews. Please don't. The admissions tutor has already read them and understands them a great deal better than you do.

Don't waste time/space trying to explain why all your A levels are deeply relevant to your degree subject. They usually aren't.

Reply 5

bumblebee342

13

I went quite a bit over with mine and just couldn't see what to take out. Getting my tutor to read it definitely helped because she pointed out words I didn't really need in there and I reworded a couple of things - getting a second opinion is always the best option!
As other people have said, I'd try to avoid using contractions :smile:

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 6

returnmigrant

21

Original post by bumblebee342

getting a second opinion's

Especially if your grammar and syntax is this bad.

Reply 7

ByronicHero

20

Remove redundancy or, failing that, remove a chunk of the final paragraph (assuming that is the one you have used to tell them you like dancing or whatever).

Another common way applicants waste their time is in trying to force tenuous links between their A levels and their proposed course.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 8

bumblebee342

13

Original post by returnmigrant

Especially if your grammar and syntax is this bad.

Oh sorry, I cut "opinion is" down to "opinion's"

:rolleyes:

Reply 9

SlowlorisIncognito

16

Original post by Izzones

Hey

My personal statement is currently 145 characters over, so it's not long enough for me to shorten it by rewriting everything, but not short enough to fit on UCAS either :/

Does anyone have any tips on cutting down these characters? Is it ok to use contractions such as 'I am' to 'I'm'? Any general advice?

Thanks a lot! :smile:

Don't use contractions, or any other informal grammar. Admissions tutors want to see you writing in a formal style, as you would in an essay. 145 characters really isn't that much to cut. Most people can probably cut this out of their personal statement by taking out waffle. Another thing to look for is any sentences where you repeat things elsewhere on the application forms (e.g. by stating the subjects you're taking at A-level) or anywhere you tell admissions tutors things they already know (e.g. the basic syllabus of one of your a-levels, or explain a well known theory, as well as statements of the obvious such as "Working on the school paper improved my writing skills).

Reply 10

returnmigrant

21

Original post by bumblebee342

Oh sorry, I cut "opinion is" down to "opinion's"

'Opinion is' does not get contracted to 'opinions' in any circumstances.

This is the sort of grammatical mistake 9 year olds make, not those about to go to University.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 11

Interrobang

20

Also be aware that the line limit is generally the thing that you meet first - so don't rely on only needing to cut out 140-odd characters

Reply 12

_Fergo

19

As above, the line limit is much easier met actually. I have exactly 47 lines and about 3450 characters. I also had to alter a few sentences to be within the line limit.

Try to merge shorter sentences (but do not make them annoyingly long) and cut some information which is not actually very important.

Reply 13

bumblebee342

13

Original post by returnmigrant

'Opinion is' does not get contracted to 'opinions' in any circumstances.

This is the sort of grammatical mistake 9 year olds make, not those about to go to University.

Point taken - edited.

Fairly pointless trying to offend me. I'm not "about to go to university" (though I clearly shouldn't be doing a degree)

Reply 14

toronto353

19

Adverbs are another thing to cut out. A lot of the time, they aid with description yes, but add little in the way of content. You could quite easily cut a few out without actually hitting any content. As above, also avoid flowery language and long complicated sentences. Your aim is to show your passion and you can do this quite easily without ever needing to resort to either of the above. In fact, some of the best statements I have ever read have been simple and to the point.

Reply 15

nursy

the golden rule i understand is does every word say to an admission tutor that you are the best candidate for their course. not that your this that or the other. is it better to analyse two things well than 4 thigns badly? perhaps losing the whole of one section to keep the depth of the others is better than losing some of the depth of all?

Reply 16

ParadoxSocks

22

Don't tell them things, demonstrate them. That will help you to cut it down but like the others have said, you're going to hit the line limit first.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 17

PQ

Clearing and Applications Advisor

21

https://twitter.com/snoozeinbrief/status/512601557553389568 is worth a look. A clear demonstration of how you can remove redundant words to make your point clearer.

Reply 18

SlowlorisIncognito

16

Original post by *Stefan*

Try to merge shorter sentences (but do not make them annoyingly long) and cut some information which is not actually very important.

I would disagree with this, actually. Often shorter sentences are more concise, whereas longer sentences contain more wasted words. Overly long sentences often lead to your point being unclear.

Reply 19

_Fergo

19

Original post by SlowlorisIncognito

I would disagree with this, actually. Often shorter sentences are more concise, whereas longer sentences contain more wasted words. Overly long sentences often lead to your point being unclear.

That's why I said "don't overdo it". I don't mean sentences three or four lines long. There are instances where people write "Studying English Literature has improved my essay skills. This is because writing for various purposes is an integral part of the A-Level." (not a representative example, but still suits its purpose). This is clumsy if you ask me.

Doesn't "Studying English Literature has improved my essay skills, as writing for various purposes is an integral part of the A-Level".

What I advised him was to cut off unnecessary stuff and combine very short tiresome sentences.

I guess different people will have different opinions, which is totally fine of course.

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