The Student Room Group

How to stop being scared of the dark ?

Whenever I'm in my new house alone at dark I'm always thinking about whether someone could be there, any sound made etc.
When I'm walking somewhere at dark I always think about it.

I don't know why as my home town is super safe, and my uni city is big, but the area I'm in is again quite safe. I've never had any kind of bad experiences, and it never used to be that bad (worked at 5ams every week, after a year I started getting more paranoid)

It's just getting to the point where I am worried of going out as I'll have to walk back alone, or leave my room when dark.

Listening to music sometimes helps - but then I won't be able to hear if something has happened! D: I even walked the last part of my journey home last night with my swiss thingy out.
Reply 1
Sit in a dark room as often as possible.
Reply 2
I find music can still help - don't have it so loud that you can't hear anything, but loud enough so you can make it out, at least. We're not actually afraid of the dark itself, it's just what we can't see and fear is in it.

Like Exon said, the best way to get over a fear is to experience it and stick with it until the phobia is over. Sitting in a dark room will help - I'd suggest starting with a friend first, then move on to just yourself when you're confident.

Loads of fears have irrational aspects of it - we're scared of spiders, but is it really gonna kill us? Same with the dark. What exactly is it you're afraid of is there? Someone/thing that's going to hurt you?
Reply 3
Original post by Exon
Sit in a dark room as often as possible.



Original post by Sannn
I find music can still help - don't have it so loud that you can't hear anything, but loud enough so you can make it out, at least. We're not actually afraid of the dark itself, it's just what we can't see and fear is in it.

Like Exon said, the best way to get over a fear is to experience it and stick with it until the phobia is over. Sitting in a dark room will help - I'd suggest starting with a friend first, then move on to just yourself when you're confident.

Loads of fears have irrational aspects of it - we're scared of spiders, but is it really gonna kill us? Same with the dark. What exactly is it you're afraid of is there? Someone/thing that's going to hurt you?


Well I usually refer to it as a fear of the unknown - like in the sea where the reef stops and it goes all dark and deep and scary.

I'm fine in a dark room alone - like yesterday night, my room was all good. It was things like going to shower and being like ahhh what if someone's there when I come out etc.

I don't see how doing it more could help when I did it for a year with not much issue? :s It feels more like the more it happens the worse it gets!

And yes someone - I know there's no way I could overpower most guys.
Reply 4
Original post by Exon
Sit in a dark room as often as possible.


Best advice tbh

Like Batman did!

To conquer fear, you must become fear.
Reply 5
Original post by Inazuma
Well I usually refer to it as a fear of the unknown - like in the sea where the reef stops and it goes all dark and deep and scary.

I'm fine in a dark room alone - like yesterday night, my room was all good. It was things like going to shower and being like ahhh what if someone's there when I come out etc.

I don't see how doing it more could help when I did it for a year with not much issue? :s It feels more like the more it happens the worse it gets!

And yes someone - I know there's no way I could overpower most guys.


The logic behind that, is that if you re-experience what you're afraid of when you're not afraid (such as being with a friend), you'll eventually lose the fear. This is what clinical psychologists use when trying to rid phobias - it's called systematic desensitization.

I don't really understand how you're fine with going into a dark room, yet going for a shower (which I imagine would be in a well-lit area) you're afraid? Seems to me like it isn't just the dark you're afraid of.
I'm the exact same! I also hate having a shower when I'm home alone incase I get ambushed when I come out! So stupid. I guess it could be a good thing because at least we're cautious. I think just gradual exposure and you get used to it, but it's always best to be on the safe side when walking alone in the dark anyway I suppose
Reply 7
Original post by Inazuma
Whenever I'm in my new house alone at dark I'm always thinking about whether someone could be there, any sound made etc.
When I'm walking somewhere at dark I always think about it.

I don't know why as my home town is super safe, and my uni city is big, but the area I'm in is again quite safe. I've never had any kind of bad experiences, and it never used to be that bad (worked at 5ams every week, after a year I started getting more paranoid)

It's just getting to the point where I am worried of going out as I'll have to walk back alone, or leave my room when dark.

Listening to music sometimes helps - but then I won't be able to hear if something has happened! D: I even walked the last part of my journey home last night with my swiss thingy out.


Are you sure you've never had a bad experience - even something minor that's tucked away in your subconscious like someone stopping you and asking you a question when you've been on your way home in the dark?

You haven't by any chance been reading something about another person who's been attacked in the dark, or maybe heard in passing about a friend or fellow student who's had something bad happen?

I would try to rationalize things by eliminating your faulty reasoning. Count up all the times you've been along in a "dark situation" when nothing has happened to you. How many times have "bad things" happened in a similar situation? Convince yourself that it's extremely rare for bad things to happen!

Having said all that, bad things do occasionally happen through no fault of our own. So make sure you're not taking unnecessary risks - walk with a friend where possible; stay in built up or illuminated areas if walking at night; make sure someone knows where you are going / when to expect you; check your home security to reassure yourself - lock the door when alone if it helps you, it's better to be safe than caught out.

:smile:
Reply 8
Original post by davros
Are you sure you've never had a bad experience - even something minor that's tucked away in your subconscious like someone stopping you and asking you a question when you've been on your way home in the dark?

You haven't by any chance been reading something about another person who's been attacked in the dark, or maybe heard in passing about a friend or fellow student who's had something bad happen?

I would try to rationalize things by eliminating your faulty reasoning. Count up all the times you've been along in a "dark situation" when nothing has happened to you. How many times have "bad things" happened in a similar situation? Convince yourself that it's extremely rare for bad things to happen!

Having said all that, bad things do occasionally happen through no fault of our own. So make sure you're not taking unnecessary risks - walk with a friend where possible; stay in built up or illuminated areas if walking at night; make sure someone knows where you are going / when to expect you; check your home security to reassure yourself - lock the door when alone if it helps you, it's better to be safe than caught out.

:smile:


Thinking about it, the walking home was for no reason, as my home town was so safe.
But in my house or wherever was after I came home one night from cheer and my uni door had been propped open with my wedge - I had left it shut/locked, nothing was taken. Never found out who or why. I slept so badly that night, with my door reverse wedged and chair against it and all. I reverse wedged it for 2 months after that :O Probably why as soon as I go into my room at dark after being out I need to check it for scary people.

But yes thank you :smile:
I know it's good to be safe but it does stress me out a lot now which isn't helping! :smile:
Reply 9
Original post by Inazuma
Thinking about it, the walking home was for no reason, as my home town was so safe.
But in my house or wherever was after I came home one night from cheer and my uni door had been propped open with my wedge - I had left it shut/locked, nothing was taken. Never found out who or why. I slept so badly that night, with my door reverse wedged and chair against it and all. I reverse wedged it for 2 months after that :O Probably why as soon as I go into my room at dark after being out I need to check it for scary people.

But yes thank you :smile:
I know it's good to be safe but it does stress me out a lot now which isn't helping! :smile:


So were you in uni halls when the "wedging" happened, and in a private house now?

Do you have housemates - have you discussed this with them, or would they not take you seriously?
Reply 10
Original post by davros
So were you in uni halls when the "wedging" happened, and in a private house now?

Do you have housemates - have you discussed this with them, or would they not take you seriously?


Indeed I was that was in halls.
Haha they'd definitely laugh at me- I'm living with all guys!


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Reply 11
Original post by Inazuma
.
Haha they'd definitely laugh at me- I'm living with all guys!


Posted from TSR Mobile


That's nice for you :biggrin:

So you have a choice of guys to run to if someone tries to break in?
Be the thing people are scared of when it's dark :colone:
Original post by Inazuma
Indeed I was that was in halls.
Haha they'd definitely laugh at me- I'm living with all guys!


Posted from TSR Mobile


Princess, Im sure they would be rather sympathetic. "Like you can come sleep with me" :cool:. So is the dark the only thing your scared off and would this be a bad time to tell you about the boogeyman.
(edited 9 years ago)

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