Speaking anxiety

I have been learning another language for 12 years now; since the beginning of secondary school, and I did a 4-year degree in it which I completed last year. 3 years ago, I lived in the country for around 8 months, and I later returned just over a year ago in order to live her permanently, and I've been here ever since.
In school, I was good at this subject but not 'amazing'. I achieved a B at GCSE, a B at A-Level, and at university I received a high 2.1 and a high first for the oral and written modules.

People now expect me to be fluent. When I return back to my home town, my friends say, oh, I assume you're fluent now, as do some of my family. However, I feel nowhere near fluent, and am extremely nervous in speaking the language.

In university, I didn't feel I was the worst at speaking the language, but I think it was because I was among peers. Now that I have to practice with native speakers, even those I know well, I feel so nervous.

I have had some bad experiences in this city. Once, in a fast food outlet, the girl on the checkout got really pissy at me because she couldn't understand what I was saying in the language. On two occasions this year, I have been asked by native speakers to speak in English because they could not understand what I was saying in their language.

I was in a cafe and started to order and then had a short conversation with the waiter in his language. He then commented on how I 'don't speak the language'. I have family here who are not native but have been here for 20 years, and they have never once told me that I speak the language well.

Another family friend, who is from this country, has also never told me I speak it well, but has told me I have made progress, and less mistakes etc.

However, there have been some other moments. I overheard her telling a hairdresser that I don't speak the language well (this was just one month ago), and in another public place this year, she said to someone in front of me that I 'I had just started to understand a little bit of the language' which was very humiliating and made me sound like I could just say a couple of words.

I feel like people are always commenting on my language level and how shy I am, and I am sick to death of it. I recently had an evaluation which put me at a high intermediate/advanced level, and it made me feel better, but I am still nervous.
A girl said behind my back that I speak the language in a 'weird accent'. When I speak to people I know, I freeze, stutter, and cannot get my words out, and my mind goes blank.

I understand grammar, and I must use a bit of the language in my job. I am fine with writing, but I just need to know how to speak. My mind goes blank and I just don't know how to say things I've learned. I've taken some lessons, but I can only afford one every few weeks.

It's hard for me to make friends who are natives, and I think it's a different culture here, as people already have their groups and are not willing to make friends so easily. I cannot even speak on the phone in the language on the train, as I am scared of being laughed at.
I watch TV and films and I understand fine. Does anyone else feel like this? Perhaps I'm just rubbish at languages. Thanks in advance for any advice.

Reply 1

0le

21

Don't feel bad, half the time I can't understand a northern accent. Its just your accent, its probably nothing to do with your ability to speak the language. Remember that the more you practice speaking to native speakers, the better you'll get.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by djpailo

Don't feel bad, half the time I can't understand a northern accent. Its just your accent, its probably nothing to do with your ability to speak the language. Remember that the more you practice speaking to native speakers, the better you'll get.

thanks

I know the pronounciation rules; I've learned all this in university, but apparently I speak with a Middle-Eastern accent even though I am from the UK, with no Middle Eastern origins whatsoever, and I am trying to learn a European language.
I don't have that much opportunity to practice. I can in shops and restaurants, but it's very simple vocabulary. I've been practicing with my boyfriend's parents for 2 months now, and I don't feel any improvement minus one or two new words..
I'll perhaps try to save up more for lessons...

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Btw the language is French. I imagine others on here speak French too, and so does anyone have any tips about improving in this language? Thanks in advance.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

OP

anyone else, please?

Reply 5

Zarek

21

It is clear you are at a pretty reasonable level at the language. Acquiring a native accent is the hardest of challenges. In my experience few native French or Italian speakers can acquire this for English even if their fluency is good and of course this does have some impact on perceived competence.

I have had similar frustrations. Although I haven't studied like you I worked in Italy and made a big effort to learn the language - but I have been unable to become fluent. Every phone call in particular was an adventure. I feel very jealous of my European colleagues who tend to speak several languages confidently. Starting to learn a foreign language at a young age seems to be one success factor.

All I can suggest is keep working at it and don't let these knocks get you down. My perception is that the French are a touch intolerant anyway. Living in the country and with your proven ability you will get better and better. Learning a language is a marathon rather than a sprint.

(edited 9 years ago)

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Zarek

It is clear you are at a pretty reasonable level at the language. Acquiring a native accent is the hardest of challenges. In my experience few native French or Italian speakers can acquire this for English even if their fluency is good and of course this does have some impact on perceived competence.

I have had similar frustrations. Although I haven't studied like you I worked in Italy and made a big effort to learn the language - but I have been unable to become fluent. Every phone call in particular was an adventure. I feel very jealous of my European colleagues who tend to speak several languages confidently. Starting to learn a foreign language at a young age seems to be one success factor.

All I can suggest is keep working at it and don't let these knocks get you down. My perception is that the French are a touch intolerant anyway. Living in the country and with your proven ability you will get better and better. Learning a language is a marathon rather than a sprint.

Thanks a lot :smile:

I just feel so humiliated when people say stuff like 'I can understand a little bit': in my eyes, that means I can say, hello, my name is, please,goodbye. or something like that.

I didn't think my accent was that bad, I mean you can see I am not a native, but I didn't think it was so poor that I was incomprehensible. But yeah I know what you mean, I have a family member who can speak confidently in about 5 languages or so..

I just need to get over the nerves...

Speaking anxiety

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