why do men only ever just want sex? how can I make them see me as more?
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You could always wait 6 months-1 year if you want a serious relationship with the hope that the guy is genuine instead of dropping your pants within the first month.
Go for a different kind of guy.
Original post by KrisCussans
I am talking about the topic, the OP made a claim in the form of a question. It is not substantiated with evidence and therefore is a fallacious question, unless of course evidence for this claim exists?
OP made the claim as an observation from her experiences. The current conclusion so far is that she has been unable to start a relationship because after sex the attention stops.
She knows that it's not ALL men, but do you really need somebody to spell it out for you?
Original post by Ruthless Dutchman
OP made the claim as an observation from her experiences. The current conclusion so far is that she has been unable to start a relationship because after sex the attention stops.
She knows that it's not ALL men, but do you really need somebody to spell it out for you?
She knows that it's not ALL men, but do you really need somebody to spell it out for you?
I know what she means, but to ask a question in the form of an attack on a whole group of people is not helping us or her, it is fallacious and unintelligent. It is like me asking 'why are Muslims terrorists?' or 'why are women irrational'? Bad questions and they don't help.
Especially when the OP's question is so flippantly sexist am I to go on and ignore this?
I refuse to answer a question based on a false premise, one based on a attack against my character. It is pointless even answering.
Original post by KrisCussans
I know what she means, but to ask a question in the form of an attack on a whole group of people is not helping us or her, it is fallacious and unintelligent. It is like me asking 'why are Muslims terrorists?' or 'why are women irrational'? Bad questions and they don't help.
Especially when the OP's question is so flippantly sexist am I to go on and ignore this?
I refuse to answer a question based on a false premise, one based on a attack against my character. It is pointless even answering.
Especially when the OP's question is so flippantly sexist am I to go on and ignore this?
I refuse to answer a question based on a false premise, one based on a attack against my character. It is pointless even answering.
Ok.
So how about the second question?
post a pic. You would have to withhold sex to separate the ones who just want you for your body.
Original post by Ruthless Dutchman
Ok.
So how about the second question?
So how about the second question?
You'd have to conduct an opinion poll of all 3.56 billion men and ask them how they can see this one individual as 'more'.
If the question were rephrased to a single person and more information was given then I could actually give you an answer without having to be so pedantic and believe me I don't like this, but I have been forced into this position of pedantry by the OP.
I know you think this is pedantic but I honestly can't answer such a preposterous question asking omnipotence of me. People are different.
(edited 9 years ago)
To the poster above...yes my assumptions are based only on my experience and not a double blind peer review but I think most people understood the point I was trying to make.
Thanks to everyone that has replied. I do live in a big city, so don't know if it's location that's the issue. But then friends seem to find relationships without a problem. One thing I have noticed is that a lot of friends form relationships through dating sites. I've never been on dating sites and date people I meet through daily life so maybe that's something worth looking into.
I do have male friends and I've asked them about this. Most have said that the majority of men won't want a girlfriend that gets a lot of attention from other men, because on a day to day basis it's a lot of hassle. I don't know how valid their comments actually are however as they tend to make a lot out of nothing. I don't take any notice of the occasional glance and figure it's just a man checking out what he doesn't have (e.g curves, boobs)...natural curiosity. My male friends however tell me that they know what the guy is thinking on account of being male and get all stupid and pseudo-aggressive. They have also suggested I don't try to ''look so nice for men'' which makes me very very angry because I do not wear make up or do my hair for men at any time, ever. I do it for myself.
I am wondering if I will be forever cursed with this because I have a large bust. If I wear a polo neck/high necked top it looks like I have two footballs under my shirt. So I'll wear lower cut tops because they '' break it up'' and make the bust look smaller. I don't know if I'm gonna have to start wearing higher cut tops in order to make people take me more seriously.
I've attached a pic....not a full pic as I don't want to be identified and don't really want to post a pic at all but would like some feedback. If you saw a girl dressed as in the pic would you automatically rule her out as anything long term? I don't dress like that on a daily basis of course more for nights out. Thanks in advance for any replies.
Thanks to everyone that has replied. I do live in a big city, so don't know if it's location that's the issue. But then friends seem to find relationships without a problem. One thing I have noticed is that a lot of friends form relationships through dating sites. I've never been on dating sites and date people I meet through daily life so maybe that's something worth looking into.
I do have male friends and I've asked them about this. Most have said that the majority of men won't want a girlfriend that gets a lot of attention from other men, because on a day to day basis it's a lot of hassle. I don't know how valid their comments actually are however as they tend to make a lot out of nothing. I don't take any notice of the occasional glance and figure it's just a man checking out what he doesn't have (e.g curves, boobs)...natural curiosity. My male friends however tell me that they know what the guy is thinking on account of being male and get all stupid and pseudo-aggressive. They have also suggested I don't try to ''look so nice for men'' which makes me very very angry because I do not wear make up or do my hair for men at any time, ever. I do it for myself.
I am wondering if I will be forever cursed with this because I have a large bust. If I wear a polo neck/high necked top it looks like I have two footballs under my shirt. So I'll wear lower cut tops because they '' break it up'' and make the bust look smaller. I don't know if I'm gonna have to start wearing higher cut tops in order to make people take me more seriously.
I've attached a pic....not a full pic as I don't want to be identified and don't really want to post a pic at all but would like some feedback. If you saw a girl dressed as in the pic would you automatically rule her out as anything long term? I don't dress like that on a daily basis of course more for nights out. Thanks in advance for any replies.
(edited 9 years ago)
It's good that you get a lot of choice, but you are choosing the wrong man. How early do you sleep with them? If you withheld to date 5 or 6, you'd separate those that want you and those that want sex with you.
You need to analyse the characteristics of the chaps you've dated and slept with, and next time you choose, avoid people with those characteristics.
As a guy if I'm honest, and there was a choice between a 9/10 stunner and a 6/10 cutie, I'd want sex with the stunner but I'd date the cutie. The worry is if you are dating a 9/10 as you are it's a lot of hassle, you don't want to have to defend your woman from potential girlfriend thieves every time you go out. Sorry about the numbers, was the only way I could get my point across here!
Best of luck La Chiquita
You need to analyse the characteristics of the chaps you've dated and slept with, and next time you choose, avoid people with those characteristics.
As a guy if I'm honest, and there was a choice between a 9/10 stunner and a 6/10 cutie, I'd want sex with the stunner but I'd date the cutie. The worry is if you are dating a 9/10 as you are it's a lot of hassle, you don't want to have to defend your woman from potential girlfriend thieves every time you go out. Sorry about the numbers, was the only way I could get my point across here!
Best of luck La Chiquita
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