The Student Room Group

Should I be concerned?

I've been with my boyfriend for just over 5 months now. He said that he loved me after about 2 months whilst I still don't feel ready to say it. We are both in our 20's (he's 3 years older) and whilst I have had bf's in the past, this is the most serious relationship I've ever been in so obviously I've never been in love before.


I feel like my feelings haven't necessarily 'grown' but I feel more comfortable around him as I'm quite insecure. The problem is that with valentine's day just around the corner, there's all these ILY cards etc and I'm starting to wonder if I'll ever get to that place. He's a great guy and I want to feel that way about him but surely I should be there by now?


We are LDR, if that makes a difference.
Reply 1
Don't be concerned! You shouldn't force yourself to feel a certain way. Some people fall in love more quickly than others do. You should only ever tell someone you love them if you truly mean it and if you're certain that you're in love, it's not something you should say just to be nice or to make the other person feel good and reassured. No, it should not be that way. Simply carry on with the relationship, carry on talking and all that and after a while, you might start to develop stronger feelings. Just relax and take it easy, don't force yourself to feel a certain way, and make sure you don't tell him you love him unless you're absolutely certain that you feel that way. Even though V day is just around the corner, you shouldn't let that worry you. Just let your feelings grow, give it time.

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You can't force it, so don't feel guilty. It may sound contradictory, but the fact that you don't love him, but are also having concerns about it shows that you will get there eventually, if that makes any sense..
However, the LDR thing could be an obstacle. How often do you see each other?
These things take time,you can't rush certain things in life
LDR is probably the reason. You haven't seen him enough times
Reply 5
Original post by H0PEL3SS
You can't force it, so don't feel guilty. It may sound contradictory, but the fact that you don't love him, but are also having concerns about it shows that you will get there eventually, if that makes any sense..
However, the LDR thing could be an obstacle. How often do you see each other?


On average it's once every two weeks, for two days. I guess I just feel a bit mean, in a way, that I can't say it back. I'm also concerned he will say it again (as he hasn't said it since three months ago) and that it will be awkward again. Only so many times one can stand to hear that they are really liked but not loved...

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